Jump Start # 3182

Proverbs 17:17  “A friend loves at all times. And a brother is born for adversity.”

A New York Post article reported that 1 out of 5 millennials have no friends. A third of the 20-30 something age group reported feeling lonely often or always. The survey also found that a huge 27% believe that they don’t need friends.

Now, analysists will dive into the various social causes of this such as the side effects of the pandemic or the culture of electronics and social media, but there is something to this that we ought to consider. God said it was not good for man to be alone. He did not provide a support animal for Adam. He made a woman to be his companion and wife. That was God’s solution to loneliness.

But this report ought to be something that shepherds in God’s kingdom pay attention to. There may will be some in the congregation who have no connections. They can sit in a large assembly on a Sunday morning, but they are alone. And, spiritually, this is not healthy nor the way God intended for things to be.

• The Christian who feels alone is more likely to keep things to himself. He becomes more vulnerable to the attacks of Satan. He doesn’t feel that he is a part of the kingdom. This loneliness invites discouragement and it is easy for such a person to fall through the cracks and drop out.

• The Biblical principles of fellowship and encouragement are wrapped around the concepts of togetherness. Acts 2 reminds us that the first disciples were together. And being together is more than sitting in a room with others. I can go to a movie and the theatre is filled, but I do not feel that I am together or connected. The same goes for flying on an airplane. Fellowship and encouragement are built upon sharing hearts, working together and having a common bond that unites us. The sharing of our stories builds hope for others. The prayers we offer for one another strengthens our souls. Going to a funeral home and seeing it packed with brethren brings such comfort to a grieving family.

• The belief that “I don’t need any friends,” is arrogant and missing what God designed. It’s not only about what you need, but it is also what you provide. Maybe you are convinced that you don’t need a friend, but there are others who do. You bring to the table a wealth of experience, love, knowledge and hope for others.

It is interesting when Elijah was sitting alone in the cave, hiding from Jezebel’s hitmen, surrounded with dark thoughts, discouragement and hopelessness that the Lord came and spoke to him. God told him to leave the cave and go appoint someone as king. That would put Elijah around others. That would get his mind off his situation. That would put some sunlight upon his body and his soul. Get around others, is what the Lord had him do. Get about doing what I want you to do is what God wanted him to do.

Now, think about one of these lonely millennials becoming a preacher or someday a shepherd in God’s church. That person may know the word of God, but without being able to connect with others, build relationships and help others, his work will be limited and not very successful. Jesus was around people. He was around people all the time. And, that example ought to help remind us of the value of worship. It’s not only to praise God, but it is to strengthen our souls and encourage our hearts.

So, what ought we to suggest to help with this? We cannot fix the world, but there are some things we can do.

First, it begins at home. Have people over. Have different people over. Have people that have kids that are your kids age over. Have older people over. Have younger people over. This is how friendships begin. To have friends, you must be friendly. Don’t talk about yourself. Hear the stories of others. Cook some great food. Get some games out. Watch a movie together. Get your kids involved in picking up and making the house inviting.

Now, don’t be that person that says, “No one ever invites me to their home.” You take the first step. You connect.

Second, look around during worship and notice who you do not know. You may know their names but that’s about it. You couldn’t say anything about where they work, where they grew up or really anything about them. Make it an effort to get to know them. I have found fascinating stories and wonderful people that were sitting right there every Sunday in the same building as I was in. Invite them out to eat one Sunday.

Third, pay attention especially to that millennial age group. They seem to have the most trouble in this area.  Surveys of the generations before and after do not show the same loneliness that millennials are experiencing. Shepherds need to notice this. Develop some groups within the congregation that will pull people together. Notice who is coming to those groups and who is not. When one is not connected, it is easy to drop out.

A house full of people, a church full of people and a world full of people and yet a segment claims that they are lonely. It doesn’t have to be this way. Things can be done to make a difference and develop the spiritual type of friendships that will help you all of you life. You need friends. You need someone you can talk to. You need someone who will point you in the right direction and give you godly advice.

The best friend you can have is Jesus. I think of the hymn, “What a friend we have in Jesus.”

Roger

Jump Start # 2629

Proverbs 17:17 “A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity.”

A dear friend dropped by the other day. I haven’t seen him in a while and boy it was refreshing to my spirit to see his smile and hear of the good things that he is doing. Friends are like that. A person is blessed to have friends in his life. There are all kinds of friends. We have them from our school days. Some have kept in touch with grade school and high school friends for decades. College roommates. Neighbors. Co-workers. Some have moved on to other jobs, but you keep in touch. A lot of hours have been spent with these people. Many of the famous bands from the sixties originated as school friends who started playing together in basements and garages. Mother Teresa said that loneliness is the modern day leprosy. God understood that it was not good for man to be alone. When Elijah was hiding in the cave from Jezebel, his thoughts went dark. When alone, things seem the worst. Nothing beats a good friend.

Many of us have that, but what is the best of all, is when your dear friend is a Christian. Now, you have the greatest blessing of all. A bond that is thick, true and wrapped in the Lord Jesus. This is something that we need to get our young people to appreciate. There will be many people in and out of their lives, but hang on to those spiritual giants. I believe God gives them to us for a reason. They can make a difference eternally for us.

Consider a few thoughts:

With a true Christian friend, there is a common understanding among us. We both stand upon the word of God and we both want to go to Heaven more than anything else. There are things we know and we can talk about freely that friends of the world would never understand. Our love for worship, our desire to see the kingdom grow, our frustration with the world, and our need to do more are conversations that happen over and over with dear Christian friends. We offer suggests on how to improve things. We look at passages and share ideas with each other. There is such a love that cannot be found anywhere else and with anyone else.

With a true Christian friend, you know his words are true and helpful. Even when they sting, you know that he comes from a heart that loves and is built upon the Scriptures. He’s going to remind you of things that you know the Scriptures teach. His words are sound. His way is gentle. He walks with the Savior and that shows. We need people in our lives that will tell us the truth, not what we want to hear. We need Biblical honesty and to get there, we need people who know God’s word and know us. The world tells you to be happy, no matter what it takes. True Christian friends will tell you to be holy and to honor God, no matter what. Their words may be painful, but they will keep us next to the Savior. We need that.

With a true Christian friend, you can be honest with. There is no fear of something being said or done that is out of line. There is no concern of things being repeated. They love you for who you are. They have been with you at weddings and funerals. They have sat with you in surgery waiting rooms and have listened to you pour your heart out to them over the phone. You have laughed with them and they have seen you cry. You have worshipped together, eaten together and been in each other’s homes. Even though you may be miles or even states apart, there is a bond that is strong and enduring. Their friendship encourages you. Their relationship brings out the best in you. They want to be like you and you want to be like them. It is a blessing to have dear Christian friends.

With a true Christian friend, there comes a time when one must leave the other and leave this place. The dying actor Gary Cooper told his famous friend Ernest Hemingway, “I’m going to beat you to the barn,” referring to his death. Just two months later, Hemingway took his life. With Christians, it’s different. We know that we will see each other again. We know what a blessing it is to leave this place in the arms of Jesus.

There is a wonderful YouTube video of two musicians, Carl Perkins and Paul McCartney. McCartney, one of the Beatles, is one of the greatest song writers and musicians of all time. He admired and was heavily influenced in his earlier years by Carl Perkins. Perkins, was overwhelmed that years later McCartney asked him for some help on one of his songs. They met on the Caribbean island of Montserrat, where there was a world class recording studio. The night before Perkins was to leave, he wrote a song for Paul, “My old friend.” The chorus reads,

“My old friend,
thanks for inviting me in.
My old friend,
may this goodbye never mean the end.
If we never meet again this side of life,
in a little while over yonder, where it’s peace and quiet,
My old friend,
won’t you think about me, every now and then…
and I’ll think about you,
my old friend.”

And, to those wonderful words, I can add names. Old friends that have helped me. Old friends that have made a difference. Old friends that are so dear to me.

“I’ll think about you,
my old friend.”

Roger