Jump Start # 2638

Philippians 4:2 “I urge Euodia and I urge Syntyche to live in harmony in the Lord.”

I have always found this verse interesting and felt a bit embarrassed for these two sisters. Something wasn’t going right between them. They were “out of harmony.” The footnote tells us that they were to be of the ‘same mind.’ They were different minded. They had differences of perspectives, opinions and how things ought to be done. Not being on the same page, has spilled into a real problem. The church knew about it. Now, an apostle knew about it. Paul doesn’t tell us what the problem was about. He doesn’t take sides. He doesn’t tell one to apologize to the other. All he says is for them to be of the same mind.

This is the same thing Paul told the Corinthians in his first letter to them. They were divided on many issues. Things were not going well. Paul’s words there tell them to agree and be of the same mind. Same mind. Thinking alike. Thinking the same. After a couple has been married for some time they get that way. My wife can order food for me in a restaurant, because she knows what I like. I can tell you if she’d like a certain movie or not.

What is interesting about our verse today is that Paul tells them to be of the same mind but he doesn’t tell them how. Just how do different minds become one? How do people with different opinions settle on one? How does a church develop the same mind? We know what a church looks like when it doesn’t have one mind. It’s scattered, messy, opinionated, divided and upset. This side verses that side. Power struggles. Fighting for control. Forgetting Jesus. It’s not easy having one mind.

First, there are some obvious ways it is not to be done. And, sadly, this is often the means people use to accomplish this today. It’s not the loudest voice. It’s not pressure. It’s not intimidating. The outward conclusion may seem like everyone is on the same page, but inside they are not. One side has been scared to change their ways. It’s not what they want, but they fear the consequences if they oppose. So, they go along because they are pressured and afraid.

I tend to think this is some of the tactics being used in society today to force changes that people want. Fearful of violence or worse, being labeled and accused, some are going on out of fear and intimidation. This usually doesn’t last. This is not one mind. This is not harmony.

Second, for there to be harmony and one mind, one must listen to the other side. We can get so worked up and be so sure that we are right that we leave no room for anyone to disagree. Disagreements, questions, asking for proof is never a wrong thing. The atmosphere needs to be pleasant, open and willing to discuss. When one side refuses to listen, consider, or even think about the other side, then harmony will never happen. Put proof on the table. Let’s look at it. No need for shouting. No need for lining up people on this side or that side. No need for threats or ugliness. Why do you feel the way you do?

Third, it often takes a third party to help iron out issues and keep everyone fair. A mediator, one who is impartial other than wanting to find a bridge for both to meet upon and cross over together is often necessary. The mediator must be agreed upon by both sides. Right there, things often break down. Can’t agree upon a mediator generally means a total breakdown of coming together will happen. Harmony is delicate. We can say and do things without realizing what we’ve just done hurt someone. We may not mean to leave some out, but we do. Hurt feelings. Feeling like one is not included, wanted or accepted can lead to breakdown in harmony.

Fourth, Satan wants us to be at odds with each other. He thrives on our differences and division. He loves hurt feelings. He wants us to neglect, abuse and wound each other. It doesn’t take too much of that for a person to leave. Division of a congregation is Satan’s great joy. Brethren who refuse to associate or talk to one another will keep harmony from every happening. And, often all it takes is something very little. It’s not the big things like false teaching, but the little things like not being invited to a party or someone’s get together and immediately ill feelings, bad tempers and negative spirits rise. Things are spread. Things are stretched out of proportion. And, now people won’t talk to each other. Years of worshipping together and friendship can crash that easily.

Fifth, harmony is always possible when we stand with the Lord and seek His will. No problem, no difference, no sin is so great that it can not be forgiven, worked through and differences healed. It can happen. But when pride, stubbornness and a bit of selfishness are mingled into the mess, then a major problem explodes. I can only imagine as the Philippian letter was read aloud and the reader came to our verse, what these two sisters thought. How embarrassing that their names were publically named. This problem had gone far enough. Paul was wanting it to stop. He wanted it to stop now. Get along. Be of the same mind. Be of one mind. Have that mind of Christ, that’s always the solution.

Our times are driving people, even brethren apart. Everyone has their own mind and that seems to suit society just fine. It doesn’t work well within a congregation. Try rowing a canoe in opposite directions. I did that once. We went in circles. It was funny. We didn’t plan to do that. We just weren’t in harmony. And, the same thing happens in a marriage, a family and a church when we are not in harmony. We just go around in circles.

Be of the same mind…it can be done.

Roger

Jump Start # 1528

Philippians 4:2 “I urge Euodia and I urge Syntche to live in harmony in the Lord.”

  What an interesting passage. Tucked away near the end of this wonderful letter that is filled with rejoicing and confidence and admonitions to maintain the same love and be united on one purpose, we find Paul naming two women who weren’t getting along.

Relationships are often hard to maintain. This is true in families and this is especially true in a congregation. We tend to be a bit pushy with our opinions and are quick to tell the other person what they “ought to do.” We wear our feelings and get our feathers ruffled easily. We can say what’s on our minds, even if that thought isn’t very nice. The problems we have the most in church comes from one another and not the Lord.

So, here in this wonderful letter, Paul names two sisters and tells them to get along. Live in harmony in the Lord. Harmony is a musical word for most of us. Singing harmony brings pleasant memories of barber shop quartets, folk music, the songs of the early Beatles and even many of our hymns. To sing in harmony, folks must sing together. Solos and harmonies are not the same. Many like the spotlight on them, but a harmony always includes others. Paul’s words were to live in harmony.

There are some interesting things we see in this simple verse.

First, Paul doesn’t tell us what the problem is. They weren’t getting along, we know that. But why? What was the fuss all about. We’d love to know. We don’t. Any suggestions are just guesses.

Second, Paul doesn’t take sides. He remains neutral. He doesn’t tell one to apologize to the other. He doesn’t say that Euodia is right. Live in harmony. We don’t know which of the two were in the wrong or it may have been that they both were in the wrong. What we know is that Paul said live in harmony.

Third, Paul doesn’t get involved in straightening this out. He tells them to live in harmony. He doesn’t schedule a meeting between them. He doesn’t sit down with both of them. They were to fix the problem, not Paul. We may want others to get involved and solve the problems but Paul didn’t do that here. They were to live in harmony. They were to get along. They were to work things out. Sometimes stepping back and allowing people the opportunity of working things out is one of the best things that we can do. Too many people involved can make things messy and even make things worse.

Fourth, sometimes personal issues spill over and affect the congregation. That seems to be the problem here. In a letter that was to be read before the church, these two names would have been read. This wasn’t news to the church. The problem was well known and hurting things. The fact that their names would have been read in an inspired letter, meant that Paul knew and that God knew. The problem had gone far enough and now it was time to end it. I would think it would be a bit embarrassing to sit in worship and have your name read from an inspired letter and what was read was telling you to get along with another. And as the Bible was recorded, everyone since those days has read those two names. We don’t know much about these two women other than they weren’t getting along with each other. That fact is known through eternity. Imagine bumping into one of them in Heaven. “Oh,” we’d say. “I’ve heard about you.” Indeed. Everyone has. One wonders if the problem they had was worth eternity knowing that they couldn’t get along with each other.

Little feuds and spats with one another can get blown up and can disrupt unity, worship and the good that a church is doing. Hurt feelings can become a major issue. Taking sides and pointing fingers usually leads to more trouble. The lack of harmony between these two could lead to a split congregation. It was time to end it and they were to figure out how to live in harmony.

Live in harmony. Sweet words. Hard to do. Hard to do when you feel like you’ve been neglected or someone has stepped on your feelings. Hard to be on the same page when you feel like someone owes you an apology. Harmony is looking to the other. Harmony is about being of one mind and one voice. Harmony is about blending together. Harmony is about two being one. There is a harmony in marriage. Certainly each person has their own space, especially in a closet full of clothes. The guy has his tools, and his stuff. In our house, I have an office. It’s decorated the way I want it to look. It’s me. We have a piano room that is pretty much my wife’s taste. The piano fills the room. I don’t play the piano, so it’s basically her room. The rest of the house, is a blending. It’s agreeing and compromising and sharing because the rest of the house is shared. Harmony is necessary in a marriage.

Harmony is necessary in a church. Without harmony, unity will not exist. Harmony is about agreeing, compromising and sharing—and that’s what makes a church run smooth. There’s no room for selfishness, me-first, or, my way. Unity works when we stand together on the platform of Christ and His word. When we practice grace and forgiveness, unity has a chance. When harmony is missing, so is getting along. You can tell when a church is missing harmony. It’s in the air. It’s like riding in the backseat of the car with your sister. We want our space and someone is always touching us and annoying us. They chew their gum too loud. They are leaning on us. They are talking too loud. Everything that they are doing, bothers us. It bothers us because we don’t want to be sitting beside them. We don’t want to be there. When that is the spirit, it’s really hard to get along and harmony is shot.

We can allow some folks to really bug us or we can work really hard to be in harmony. It’s a choice. We can focus on the annoying things that they do or we can focus upon the really good things that we have in common. We can continue to pick scabs that keeps wounds from healing or we can work on building stronger relationships. It’s a choice.

One of the things we notice about the Bible is that we are not given the opportunity to follow the end of the story with many people we read about. That’s not the purpose of the Bible. It’s not a biography. It’s a book that tells the story of Jesus. So, did those two women get back in harmony? We don’t know. We certainly hope so. They now had an entire congregation that could help them if they couldn’t do it themselves.

How about your story? Is there someone that you are not in harmony with? Isn’t it time you do what you can to work things out? Isn’t it time for you to offer the peace pipe and even apologize? How would you like your name to be read before a congregation with the admonition, “live in harmony”? Makes you wonder if we make a bigger deal out of things than we ought to.

Live in harmony…That’s what God wants. It starts with each of us doing what we can.

Roger

Jump Start # 1035

Philippians 4:2 “I urge Euodia and I urge Syntyche to live in harmony in the Lord.”

  Harmony—we appreciate it in music, we expect it among kids, we wish more countries would embrace it, and among brethren, it’s something that shouldn’t have to be said. But it does. Euodia and Syntyche are known through the ages as two in the Philippian church that didn’t get along. I’ve wondered what it must have been like to have this letter read before the entire church, and to hear your name read and not in a positive manner. Paul wasn’t praising these two. Their differences now involved the apostle and it included the church.

Consider some thoughts here:

First, Paul does not tell us what the problem was. Who started it and who was at fault. He didn’t take sides. He told them both to live in harmony. He “urged” them both. We’d love to know what the problem was. Could it have been something shallow and simple? Was it something shameful? Who knows. Doesn’t matter. Get along are the words of Paul. We can spend far too much time getting into things that are not our business. We want to know details, when often we shouldn’t. We want to be able to point fingers and assign blame. In doing all of this, we find ourselves pulled into the mess and before we know it, we too, are a part of the problem. Get along. Work it out. Settle things. Live in harmony. That doesn’t mean move away. That doesn’t mean ignore what happened. It does mean to live in peace.

Second, our minor skirmishes often lead to major battles. That happened in the Civil War. That happens in churches. Stubbornness, pride and ego refuses to let little things pass. Too much of self tends to escalate things. Some problems have exploded into such a major issue that the parties involved can’t even remember what started it all. Some hold ill feelings for a long time until they explode and what a mess it is then.

Third, sometimes we need help to find the harmony among each other. Paul’s purpose in naming these two was to bring attention to the church and to solicit help from them. Job complained to God that there was no umpire between he and the Lord. Often, we need an umpire to listen, to advise, and to help get things going the right way. The problem with outside help is that if the independent, third party, doesn’t side with me, then I’m not interested in listening to him. We tend to only want a third party if they sway the problem in our favor. That’s not seeking harmony, that’s seeking my way.

Fourth, we need to be reminded, sometimes by others, that forgiveness and grace are the marks of Christianity. We do bump and bruise and hurt each other. We may not realize it. Other times, we know, but still we say and do what we do. Our nature is to either fight back, or run. Neither of those are the best solutions. Live in harmony is what God wants. Can that be accomplished? Yes, if we walk with Christ. In most battles among church members, Christ is left out of the discussion. We get heated, loud and threatening and leave on the sidelines, peace, harmony, grace and forgiveness. We don’t want an apology, we want vengeance. We don’t want grace, we want blood. We start thinking, “I have a right…” and the moment we do that, we have forgotten Christ. Jesus suffered and uttered no threats in return. Remember? Jesus said, “Turn the other cheek,” remember? Jesus said to love one another. We forget those things when we are upset because of another. Our thoughts are not in working things out, but in getting justice for our side. The way of the Lord is to forgive, be at peace and to work together in harmony.

We need each other. When there are disputes in the home or in the church, it is felt, it is known, and it causes progress to suffer. Disputes are prime time for gossip and hatred to rise to the surface. The good that we do is set back because we can’t get along. Others notice. It’s hard to worship when people are taking sides, thinking bad, and forming plans to hurt others.

These words need to be spoken to preachers and elders: Live in harmony. These words need to be spoken to those who are jealous of each other: live in harmony. These words need to be spoken to those who have five talents and those who have one talent: live in harmony. The young and the old: live in harmony. Those who grew up in the church and those who did not: live in harmony. Those who are new at things and those who have been around for a long time: live in harmony.

What a beautiful sound harmony is. When a piano is tuned properly—beautiful. When two voices are singing in harmony—wonderful. When two people are getting along—powerful. Live in harmony. That means, I won’t always get my way. That means I must look and see what’s best for all, not just me. That means I must be a team player. That means I must apologize when wrong and accept apologies when I’ve been wronged. It means I keep my lips closed and not make things worse by gossiping. It means I give others time to think things out and work through things. It means honesty must be foremost. It means we must all fly the banner of Christ above us.

Getting along. It’s not easy. We would do things differently. It seems everyone loves sitting in the critics chair. The back seat driver, the arm chair quarterback—we all think we know how we’d do it and it’s certainly not the way it’s being done now. I wonder how many worship services are ruined in some hearts because we butcher the song leader, groan at the sermon, and miss connecting with Jesus? It’s easy to be the critic. One of the early lessons young preachers must learn is to have thick skin. Each Sunday, the preacher is critiqued. It begins with his outfit, his hair, his manner in which he walks to the pulpit, his topic for a lesson, his delivery, the length of the lesson, his illustrations, what he left out, what he should have left out and sometimes all of that comes just from his wife. Poor guy. We all need some adjusting and could do things better, but constant criticism from brethren is one of the main reasons young preachers quit. They can’t take it. The pressure is too much. Each week they feel like they have failed. People who have never given a sermon in their life, acting like experts in something they have no idea about, can destroy a heart that just wanted to teach the Gospel. I know, I have been on the receiving end and it nearly drove me nuts. I had friends who got out of preaching because they couldn’t handle the “brethren” each week. I’ve seen it nearly destroy too many talented young preachers. There was one, many years ago who was just letting me have it at the door as he was leaving. Standing in line with others, he proudly announced what a failure I was. It must have made him feel good. I’m sure his dinner went down easy that day. Mine didn’t. It still hurts, all these years later. He never apologized. He never toned down. He proudly felt that he told me the truth. What a cruel and hurtful manner he walked in. I nearly quit. There never was any harmony there. There never was any church helping resolve things. It was an old bully who got away with abuse. It ruined our relationship. Those things should never have been allowed.

It’s so easy to tear down. We can do it with just a look. Young mothers who are trying so hard, can leave feeling defeated, not because of all the trouble with the little ones, but because of the stares of the older women. Teenagers can be made to feel that they are not welcomed. Those who look different. Those who come from a different background. It’s easy to rip others to shreds. Living in harmony is hard. It takes all that we have to not just get along, but to make things better. Harmony involves love and acceptance. Harmony means you are welcomed here.

You have a lot to do with keeping the harmony. Are you doing your part? Deny self, take up the cross and follow Jesus—that’s the spirit of harmony. Let’s work harder at it.

Roger