Jump Start # 3225

Matthew 9:4 “And Jesus knowing their thoughts said, ‘Why are you thinking evil in your hearts?’”

Communication is the key to all growing and healthy relationships. This is true within a marriage. This is true in parenting. This is true in business. It’s true in the church. It’s true in our walk with Christ. And, one of the key reasons for troubled and failing relationships is communication issues.

In our verse today, Jesus has just forgiven a cripple of his sins. The scribes were fuming. They were thinking that Jesus blasphemed. They rightly understood that no one can forgive sins but God. What they missed was that Jesus was God. Their minds were swirling at the boldness and audacity of Jesus. How dare he claim to be God! This is where our verse comes in. Jesus knew their thoughts. No words had to be spoken. Jesus knew. And, to prove He could do these things, Jesus told the crippled to take up his bed and walk. And, immediately he did just that.

We don’t have this power and insight as Jesus did. We cannot know the thoughts of others. Our interaction is based upon what people tell us. Communication. And, here in, lies many problems. Parents can’t read the minds of their children. We may see them rolling their eyes, sighing and from that the conclusion is made that the kids do not agree. But when asked how school went today and the answer given is, “ok,” the parent doesn’t know about their child being made fun of, or bullied or being rejected by others. Parents can’t know the thoughts. The same is true in a marriage. Sometimes the tension is obvious. Wives are wonderful at saying, “We need to talk.” Immediately, the husband feels like he is headed to the principal’s office. Something is not right and it’s probably his fault. Communication. In the church, shepherds want to help the sheep. Some are drifting and beginning to fall to pieces spiritually. But smiles on Sunday morning hide all of that. The shepherds cannot know the thoughts of the sheep.

Here are some things to consider:

First, I cannot expect others to help or to understand if I put up barriers all around my feelings and thoughts. Some are critical of others because no one offered to help, however, no one else knew. We easily tell others what we think they want to hear so we keep up this game that everything is fine when it is not. We continue to wear masks hiding our true thoughts.

This is done often times out of fear. We don’t want others to think less of us. We don’t want to admit that we need help. We don’t want to appear less than perfect. So an image is created. It’s not the true picture. Our feelings are stuffed deep inside us and no one is allowed in.

We need to get beyond this. Friendships and fellowship involves risks. There is no shame in admitting that you need help. There is nothing wrong with asking someone to pray for you. As new people come in, it is hard for them to live up to this image that has been created. No one has troubles. No one needs help. No one has problems. Everything is always great. Before long, that hypocrisy cracks and the reality of troubled people comes to the surface.

Second, it’s hard for me to expect you to be honest if I am not honest in return. When I never admit having a bad day, making wrong choices, having thoughts I shouldn’t have, needing an attitude adjustment, I raise the bar so high that even my family cannot reach it. There are times when the Scriptures ought to bother us. There are times when a sermon ought to sting us. There are times when it’s hard to fellowship some. Honesty will lead to proper solutions and better relationships. Hiding these things only keeps the game going that I like you, when I don’t.

Third, telling a person what they want to hear can be destructive and even harmful to their soul. Paul was straightforward with Peter when Peter was breaking fellowship with the Gentiles. Peter needed to hear that. Peter needed to change. Correction involves telling a person what is right and that is often not what they want to hear. They want to continue on the course that they are following. They want to know that everything is fine. Most of us would still be in our sins had the Lord not be honest with us through the Scriptures. We were lost. We were sinners. We were hopeless and helpless. We needed salvation through Jesus.

Now, there is a way and a time to have these crucial and difficult conversations. Being kind, yet honest and truthful, will lead to better behavior. This is important in parenting. Screaming  and shouting and making unrealistic threats is not the proper steps in parenting or marriage. However, sitting face to face, talking and explaining will build relationships and improve matters.

The shepherds are not mind readers. Something not right, talk to them. Don’t get upset because “they are supposed to know.” They are not Jesus. They cannot read your mind. Talk to them, in kindness. They will help you, if you invite them into your heart. The same is true in a marriage. Don’t play the guessing game of “you know what’s wrong,” when most likely, the other person doesn’t have a clue. The same works in parenting. Teens complain about how clueless their parents are and how they don’t care, but much, much too often, the teens are not leaving any clues. They keep their thoughts close to the vest and parents are left playing a guessing game as to what is going on.

Communication is about two people. Open. Honest. Listening. Sure, it’s risky. Certainly, you can’t do this with everyone. But, where it’s needed, it can be so much better. In the corporate world, it’s a dog fight. People have their own agendas that often include getting to the top and doing as little as possible. It’s all about self preservation and getting the most for self. Communication in those settings are hard because people do not play fair nor by the same rules. But in the home, in the church, and with God, we can and must do better at communicating.

In some ways, it is a blessing that we cannot know what others are thinking. It would probably scare us and disappoint us to know what others really thought. We need to leave those things to the Lord and just work on developing better communication skills.

Roger

Jump Start # 2696

Matthew 9:4 “And Jesus knowing their thoughts said, ‘Why are you thinking evil in your hearts?’”

Our verse today comes from the miraculous healing of the crippled man. Before Jesus healed him, he said, “Your sins are forgiven.” That sent the Pharisees into orbit. Jesus can’t say that. Only God can forgive. Who does he think he is? Their thoughts were going south. They were thinking blasphemy. They were thinking of doing evil to Jesus. And, the Lord knew all of this. Without them saying a word, Jesus knew. “Knowing their thoughts,” our verse reads, Jesus knew they were thinking evil. To show and to prove that He had the authority to do these things, including forgiving sins, Jesus healed the crippled. “Take up your bed and go home,” was the command of the Lord. The crippled man did just that.

Knowing their thoughts is a great expression for you and I to give some consideration.

First, as much as we would like to, we really do not know the thoughts of others. Once in a while, we might guess right, but most times we do not know. So when we say to someone “I know what you are thinking,” we really don’t. And, many times what we say reveals that we do not know. Even couples that have been married for decades, do not know what the other is thinking. For instance, the number one question asked every Sunday is, “Where do you want to go eat?” If we knew, we wouldn’t have to ask that.

Second, it is really good that we don’t know what others are thinking. There are two sides to this and neither side puts us in a good place. If we knew the negative things people said behind our backs, it would crush us and hurt us. And if we knew how praise-worthy some think about us, we might believe that we can walk on water. Don’t try it, because you can’t. We need to spend our time focusing upon why we think the way we do and not worry about how others think. Some are so obsessed with others liking them and approving of them that they will do just about anything to please them. The approval of others can be very vain and actually not put us in a good place. We can think too highly of ourselves. Reminds me of a story I heard recently. After Sunday service, an older lady told the preacher that his sermon was among the greatest she ever heard. In fact, she declared, you are one of the greatest preachers of this generation. On the way home, as the preacher was telling this to his wife, he said, “I wonder just how many great preachers are in this generation.” His wife said, “One less than you think.”

Third, God knows what we are thinking. God knows what we need before we ask Him. There is no fooling God. He knows your motives. He knows your heart. He knows how sincere you are. He knows when you are playing a game with Him. He knows you. He knows what you are thinking.

Now, the negative side of this ought to cause us to shape up and do what is right. We can fool each other. We can play pretend all day long. We can be the hypocrite. But not with God. He knows. He knows when your tears are real and when you are trying to get attention. He knows when you are faking and when you are trying hard.

Now, the upside to this is that He knows when words escape how we feel about Him. He knows that love Him and want to be with Him. He knows when “thank you,” just doesn’t seem to be enough. He knows. He knows when you are hurting. He knows when others have hurt you. He knows when we want others to do well. He knows how much you care. He knows.

Fourth, since God knows, a fair question to ask is why then do we need words? Why pray if He knows? Why sing hymns if He knows? Why praise Him if He knows? We could just sit in silence, like a group of monks and just stare off into the distance. No words. No actions. Just thoughts. Just thoughts that God already knows. Why assemble to worship if God knows?

It is important to say it. A husband and wife love each other, but it is important to say it. Sure they know it, but they like to hear it. A parent likes to hear their child saying, “I love you.” The parent knows, but it’s wonderful to hear it. But saying it in prayers, hymns, preaching and praise, encourages others. It teaches others. It shows that we truly put God first in all things. And, the people of God have always expressed it. Blessed be the name of the Lord. God’s name is to be held in the highest honor. God’s name is an expression of authority and honor.

Finally, what we think on the inside and what we do on the outside ought to match. Just having good thoughts without an obedient life is not right. Nor, is it good to outwardly do what God says, yet our hearts are miles away from Him. In vain, the prophet Isaiah declared, the people worship me but their heart are far from me. Outside, we assemble on Sunday. Inside, we daydream, sleep, pay games on our phone. Or, we have wonderful and generous hearts on the inside but we do not follow the Biblical pattern on the outside.

God knows. The inside and the outside need to be the same. They need to mirror each other. They need to match.

Jesus knew their thoughts. Jesus knows your thoughts. Sure is something to think about.

Roger