Jump Start # 3389

Matthew 27:5 “And he threw the pieces of silver into the temple sanctuary and departed; and he went away and hanged himself.”

Our verse isn’t one of those cheerful passages that lifts our spirits and encourages us throughout the day. It’s not a verse that you’ll find on greeting cards or on a sign in someone’s home. Many would just as soon not know about this and leave it at that. God chose to put this in His recorded word for all time. One of the chosen ones, one close to Jesus, one who heard the words, and saw the miracles, disgraced the Lord and took his life.

As Judas returns the money he was given to sell out Jesus, he states, “I have sinned by betraying innocent blood.” He knew. He knew what he did was wrong. He knew Jesus was right. He knew Jesus was innocent. Shame, remorse, guilt and regret can wreck our faith with the Lord. For some reason, parents are good at laying guilt upon their grown children. “You haven’t been by to see me in a long time,” they will say. We know that, but the added guilt just makes matters worse.

Guilt is a feeling and an emotion that comes from realizing that we have done something wrong. Judas realized it and Judas felt it. Like all feelings, emotions, they can have a productive and useful channel that helps us or they can flow over the banks, like a river, and cause a lot of damage. Guilt is that way. In the right channel, it can lead us to stepping up our game and improving ourselves. Guilt can lead to course corrections. But overcome with guilt, and one starts thinking about hurting themselves, as Judas did.

There is one major source that give us spiritual guilt.

First, is misunderstanding God. This is where the one talent man stood. He said, “I was afraid and went away and hid your talent in the ground” (Mt 25:25). Why was he afraid? He thought his master was a “hard man.” He explained it as, ‘reaping where you did not sow.’ Now, how would that work? If you didn’t plant, then you are not going to gather a harvest. The one talent man did not understand his master.

And, when we misunderstand God, guilt and shame surround us. Some see God as peeking behind a shrub with His spiritual radar gun pointed at us, just like the police might do on a highway. God is seen as just waiting to catch us doing wrong. This misunderstanding will make one nervous around God. It’s like talking to an English teacher and she stops and corrects you with every sentence you say. After a short time, you just quit talking because you feel that she will correct you again.

Others, view God like a high school football coach. He’s demanding. He is never pleased. More sprints. Faster time. More effort. More. More. More. Never satisfied and always wanting more. That’s how some see God. Read a chapter in the Bible today? Should have read two. Did something nice today? Should have done two more nice things.

And, with this misunderstanding about God, we are like the piano student who is trying her best to play every note perfectly. She cannot enjoy what she is doing, for fear that she’ll make a mistake. She is so focused upon perfection that she doesn’t like playing the piano. And, for some disciples, that’s where they stand with God. They can’t enjoy worship, fellowship, or their walk with God for fear that they’ll say the wrong thing, mess up somewhere, or simply forget something. Their journey with the Lord is laborious, intense, and hard. Duty has replaced desire and trying to please God has replaced the love of the Lord.

The problem with all of this is that we have manufactured that concept of God. You don’t see that in the Gospels. The thief on the cross—what did he know about Jesus? Not a whole lot. The Samaritan woman at the well, in John 4. Her life was a mess, yet she ran in excitement to tell others about the Messiah. The prodigal coming home, found love and favor from his father.

We try to impress God with perfection and we can’t.  Imagine your child drawing a stick figure of himself and you and an odd shaped heart telling that he loves you. Do you mail that picture to the local art gallery? You even have to ask him, “which one is you and which one is me?” But drawn in love, given in love, it makes your heart swell. Is it a good picture? Technically, no. But, save it and it becomes one of your treasured keepsakes.

The love and grace of God is what is extended to us. Does that mean we don’t have to try? Why would such an attitude even ask that question? Does that mean we can bring in the elephants to worship and turn it into a sideshow? Is that how we’d show our love to God? Would God love that? Stick figures is what we present, but it’s presented in love and meant to please our Lord.

Judas felt guilt. Had he raced back to the line marching Jesus to the city, falling to his knees and with tears in his eyes, saying, “I’m so sorry,” you know what our Savior would have done. He would have forgiven Judas. A broken and contrite heart God will not despise.

But Judas didn’t do that. He ended his life. And for thousands, since Judas, they have ended their faith and their walk with the Lord. Shame. Guilt. Remorse. Regret. So much, wrapped around a view of God that is not true and is not healthy.

God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son…

Roger

Jump Start # 2844

Matthew 27:5 “And he threw the pieces of silver into the sanctuary and departed; and he went away and hung himself.”

  Our verse today is the sad end to Judas. He was one of the chosen. For three years He was with Jesus. He saw the miracles up close. He heard those powerful words spoken by the Lord. He was in the boat when Jesus caused the storm to cease. He saw Jesus walking on water. He saw the widow’s son raised from the dead. He saw Lazarus come out of the tomb. He even had his feet washed by Jesus. But Judas’ heart wasn’t true nor committed. He sold Jesus out. He was a turncoat that led to Jesus being arrested and eventually killed.

  And, now, as our verse tells us, he doesn’t want the money. He had a change of heart, but it was too late. The Jews had turned Jesus over to the Romans and things have gotten so far out of hand that there was no turning back. Jesus was going to the cross and Judas was responsible.

  There are different ideas about what was running through Judas’ mind. Seeing the innocence of Jesus, seeing how willingly He allowed everything to happen, just might have been enough to change his heart. Others have suggested that Jesus had always gotten away in other attempts. Once a mob tried to stone Jesus. He got away. Another time, they tried to shove Him off a cliff. He got away. He was always getting away. Could Judas have thought this was a quick way to scam some money and Jesus won’t be hurt. He’ll get away. But this time He didn’t. This time, the cross was all too real.

  For whatever reason, shame and guilt filled Judas’ heart. He did something so terrible that there was no fixing it. The Jewish hierarchy had no place for Judas. The Romans didn’t want Judas. And, having betrayed Jesus, the disciples would have nothing to do with him. He was truly a man without a country. No friend in the world. His pocket full of silver didn’t matter now. He was eaten up with guilt and his only option he could come up with was suicide. Judas hung himself.

  What is interesting is that another of the Lord’s chosen was also eaten up with guilt. This was Peter. There is just a thin line between betraying and denying. Both involve turning your back on someone. Both are hurtful. And, both Judas and Peter regretted what they did. For Peter, he wept bitterly. Broken and ashamed, he did not support the Lord when the chips were down. He thought only of himself. The safe course, was to pretend and lie that he never knew Jesus. But unlike Judas, not only had Peter seen and heard all those things of the Lord, he was also in that inner circle with James and John. It was Peter who walked on the water. None of the other disciples did. It was Peter who saw the Lord transfigured. It was Peter who drew the sword and tried to defend Jesus. But now, alone, scared, he claims he doesn’t know Jesus. The Lord looks. Peter sees. Their eyes connect. Guilt fills the heart of Peter.

  There is an interesting parallel between Judas and Peter. Both hurt Jesus. Both let Jesus down. And, both experienced remorse, guilt and failure. Guilt is an emotion that comes when we realize that we have done something wrong. And, in the parallel between Judas and Peter, guilt will lead a person to doing one of two things.

  For Peter, he destroyed the guilt. It is Peter who rushes to the tomb on that resurrection morning. It is Peter who is with the other disciples when Jesus appears. It is Peter who speaks so boldly on that Pentecost day in Acts 2. It is Peter who says we will not stop speaking what we’ve seen and heard. Sent to a Gentile, Peter preaches Christ. Later, the Holy Spirit uses Peter to author two N.T. letters. Peter did wrong. Peter felt terrible. Yet, Peter destroyed the shame and guilt, but returning to God and becoming an instrument of God for good.

  For Judas, he allowed his guilt to destroy him. His choice, rather than repentance and forgiveness, was a rope. For others today, it’s a bottle or some pills. The shame is too much. The guilt is too deep. They see no recovery. They see no hope. They give up. They give up on a marriage. They give up on a walk with the Lord. They give up on Heaven. They give up on the Lord.

  There are some lessons for us:

  First, we are surrounded by those who may never admit it but their hearts are filled with guilt. It’s the father who neglected his kids so he could build a career. Harry Chapin’s “Cats in the cradle,” about a father who had no time for his son is haunting the anthem of many homes today. Children grow up, but they haven’t been parented. For others, it’s the guilt from walking away from a marriage. Some innocent flirting at work led to some wild passion which blinded the eyes and the heart. The fling seemed more fun than the marriage, so one chased after it. And, now, what a mess. A separation. A divorce. And, what seemed to be freedom and happiness has become misery. And, guilt fills the heart. For others, it was something said in a conversation. Things got heated. Words were uttered that should never have been said. Feelings were hurt. A friendship ended. And, guilt is all that remains.

  At far too many funerals, rather than recalling precious memories, the time is filled with the sorrows of guilt. And, now, it’s too late.

  Second, we know the experience of guilt, but what so many do not know is what to do with guilt. There is Peter and there is Judas. It seems too hard to do what Peter did, so Judas becomes the default option. Sitting at a bar late at night, drinking to forget. Chasing after vain things just to put the shame out of your mind, but it always remains there.

  God has written the story of people who make a wreck of their lives. Guilt was the street they lived on. Yet, through God’s word, we see the proper outcome and the way out of guilt. There is David. Adultery. Murder. Deception. Lying. The list is long. He killed not only a neighbor, but one of his mighty men. Guilt will lead to more and more poor choices. It did for David. Finally, God, who never gives up on us, sent a prophet. David confessed. David sought the Lord. David became useful. David took the path that Peter would later take.

  Paul is another lesson God gives us. He chased down the people of God and put them in prison. He aggressively tried to stamp out Christianity. When he finally realized that this was all wrong, he didn’t find a rope. He chose baptism. He chose to follow the Lord. He became the mighty apostle. He returned to Jerusalem multiple times, among the families he once hunted down, and preached the saving grace of Jesus.

  Guilt, like mold on a wall, grows. It will eat you up. It will destroy you. It did Judas. His guilt colored the way he saw things. His guilt, although forgivable, was considered too much for him.

  Peter and Judas…You and I…regrets…guilt…sorrow. We’d love to press that rewind button and do things differently, but we can’t. The words were said. The deeds were done. Here we all. Repentance or a rope? Try to make things right or give up? Seek mercy or end life? Do better or quit?

  These words can help us and they can help others. God is gracious and merciful. God gives second chances. Look at David. Look at Paul. Look at Peter. Look at you.

  Roger

Jump Start # 1624

Matthew 27:5 “And he threw the pieces of silver into the temple sanctuary and departed; and he went away and hanged himself.”

This week we are looking at the feelings, attitudes and emotions that often consume us and should not be a part of our hearts as we walk with Christ. However, too often these are. They affect us, often define us and even defeat us. Hatred, fear and now we look at guilt. Guilt comes in different flavors and strengths. There is remorse. There is regrets. There is shame. There is embarrassment. These are connected  to guilt.

Our verse today, about Judas, illustrates how guilt can consume a person to such a depth that he sees no way out. For some, it’s walking away from a marriage. For others, it’s pills or the bottle. For others, it’s suicide, the route that Judas took.

On the surface, it’s hard to figure Judas out. He got what he wanted. He turned Jesus over to the Jewish hierarchy and was paid for his evil duties. There were no surprises in this. There had been earlier attempts on Jesus’ life. Once, they tried to stone Him. On another occasion, they tried to throw Jesus off a cliff. Each time, somehow, Jesus got away. But this time, He didn’t. The Jews got the Romans involved. Pilate. Soldiers. Crucifixion. Jesus was not getting out, not this time. Remorse hit Judas. The lust for easy money overcame him. When he thought about it, he regretted it. There was no going back now. It was too late. The deed was done. It was done before all the apostles. It was done with the soldiers. Everyone knew. And now, Judas was a man without a county. Who would stand with Judas? Not the apostles. Not the Romans. Not the Jews. His selfish thirst for gain, cost him everything. He now had nothing, including Jesus. The Lord had been good to Judas. He had washed his feet. He had fed him. He had witnessed the goodness of the Savior. Diseased and demon possessed people were cured because of Jesus. There never was a mean moment with Jesus. True to His cause and purpose to the very end. And in that late night garden prayer, here came Judas with an armed mob to take Jesus away. His greed overcame sense, reason and even friendship. He had ruined a relationship with Jesus. For three years Judas had traveled with Jesus and the eleven. Friendships formed. Bonds were made between them. They had been in storms together. They had seen the most unbelievable. And now, for a few pieces of silver, he ended all of that. His shame and his guilt destroyed him.

Guilt is the after taste of wrong. One doesn’t feel guilty when they have done right. We don’t leave worship services with a sense of shame and guilt. It’s when we know that we have done something wrong that guilt comes. Guilt is a feeling and an emotion given by God. Guilt is based upon a person realizing that they have done something wrong. God doesn’t expect us to live with guilt. That guilt ought to drive us to the mercy of God. Guilt can lead to positive changes. But, guilt can overcome a person. A person may think that they are too far gone for even God to save. Guilt of being caught, guilt of embarrassment has ruined many hearts.

The moment of passion can catch a person. Reason is tossed out. The next thing you know a person has crossed the line of fidelity and they have broken their vows. It was exciting and fun. They felt alive. But now, after the fact, reality catches up with them. They realized what they have done. There is no do-overs. That guilt and the fear of a mate finding out, leads to running away, and even suicide.

Guilt is something that all of us should have experienced in our lives. The Bible tells us that all of us have sinned. That fact. That reality. That understanding ought to make a person feel wrong. They were wrong. Don’t try to excuse the sin. Don’t justify it. Don’t hide it. Don’t rename it. Don’t try to make it pretty. Don’t laugh it off. Don’t blame others. We have sinned. We have broken the heart of God. We have disappointed God. We chose silver over Jesus. We let the Lord down. That ugly feeling of guilt will drive us to our knees or make us run from God. Those that run, ruin their conscience. They devote a lifetime to sin and no longer do they blush. Their mouths become filthy. They ways wicked. Their hearts cold and calloused. They ignore and refuse to acknowledge God. They take the Holy name of God in vain. They have sold their souls to the devil.

For others, guilt leads us home. I expect the prodigal walked home differently than the way he left. He left with a pocket full of money and a head full of wild ideas. He came home broken, ashamed and guilty. The guilty walk with their heads down. The guilty look guilty in the eyes. Guilt can lead us to God’s forgiving grace. It is the mercy of God that we now seek. Sorry. Promising to do better. Begging for a second chance. The guilty can find hope in a God that forgives.

Feeling guilty is not a place that most want to be. We can feel guilt because we forgot someone’s birthday or our own anniversary. We can feel guilt because we promised to be there for someone and we weren’t. The greatest guilt comes from moral failures. We hurt a friendship because we gossiped. We broke the rules and got kicked out of school, fired from a job or arrested by the police. The elders of the church come to our home to talk to you about some things you have done that has hurt other members. Guilty. Caught. Ashamed.

What one does with their guilt shows what they are made of. It reveals their character and their faith. Stop trying to manifest a image of perfection. You only fool yourself when you do that. Be honest and be real. We fumble the ball. We let others down. We break God’s commands. We hurt our family. We disappoint others. The finger points at us. Each of us, sitting in a circle, could stand up, say our name and confess, “I am a sinner.” Do you continue to beat yourself up for those mistakes and sins? Do you punish yourself? Do you remain on guilt street? Do you throw in the towel on all things good and decent? Do you quit life? Do you seek the mercy of God and the forgiveness of others?

God uses guilt to move us closer to Him. God does not intend for us to live with guilt the rest of our lives. Guilt will destroy. Guilt will keep us from reaching the heights that God wants.

One more thing about guilt. Some folks use guilt to pressure and get what they want from another. Parents can do this. Along with the Thanksgiving mashed potatoes, comes a heaping of guilt. “You don’t call us very often.” “Why don’t you come around more?” “One of these days, we won’t be here and then you’ll have all the time to run around with your friends.” Guilt. Guilt. Guilt.

Some refuse to release us from guilt. They don’t want to forgive. They want to remind you of what you did that was wrong. They don’t plan on forgetting and they certainly don’t plan on you ever forgetting. They continue to pick at the scab so the wound never heals. That adds to the guilt. They now have a problem and that is not forgiving. They are now wrong with God because they will not release the pain that you have caused. So, the guilt remains.

From Disney’s Frozen, we need to just “Let it go.” Let it go. Learn. Do better. Seek forgiveness. Make it right. Apologize. Then let it go. If you don’t, if you won’t, if you can’t, the guilt will become a monster inside of you and it will change you for the worse. Sour. Miserable. And ugly, you become because of the guilt.

Apologize where you can. Make it right where you should. Seek the forgiveness of God and others. Then, “Let it go.”

Guilt is the gift that keeps on giving…until it destroys you.

Roger

Jump Start # 1052

Matthew 27:5 “And he threw the pieces of silver into the temple sanctuary and departed; and he went away and hanged himself.”

  Our verse today shows the sad conclusion to Judas’ life. It ended with suicide. A preacher friend of mine had to deal with suicide this week. Someone that he had been trying to help find the Lord, took his life. Years ago, the husband of a church member took his life. I arrived at the house, early in the morning, at about the same time the police did. I led the way to the basement and nearly walked into his lifeless body hanging there. It was very haunting. That scene bothered me for a long time.

We don’t talk much about suicide. It’s one of those hush-hush things. The person who takes their life leaves the family with questions as to why and his problems often shift to them. I’m not a psychologist, but it seems that there are three main reasons someone takes their life. The first, is because they are trapped and about to be caught. A crime has been committed and the law is closing in. Instead of facing jail, they take their life. A second reason, a person is mentally unbalanced, and has a lot rage. These are the ones that shoot up a school or mall. They injure or kill other innocent people, saving one last bullet for themselves. Why they must ruin the lives of others is beyond understanding. They take their life so no one really knows what they were thinking. Justice isn’t served and many people are ruined for a long time. The third reason some take their life is because they see no hope. They may get that way physically. A terminal disease is going to take their life, so they give up and speed up the process and end their life. Others, after a lifetime of mistakes and failures, feel that everyone has given up on them, including God, take their life because they are tired of the misery.

Our kids, when in high school, had a friend who was a drummer in a band. He came around a few times. He taught my son some drum techniques. One evening he ended his life. It bothered my kids. They knew him.

Our verse today is about Judas. He betrayed Jesus. As Jesus was praying, Judas was rounding up the guards to arrest Jesus. There are some things about Judas that are very revealing. He kept the money that the wealthy women had given to support Jesus. He dipped into that money for himself. That is the polite way of saying that he stole from Jesus. When a woman anointed Jesus with costly perfume, Judas balked and complained, stating that the poor could have been helped by that money. He may have thought that he too could have been helped by that money if he could only get his hands on it. Judas was the one who approached the chief priests about betraying. A sum of money was agreed upon, the price of a common slave. The deal was struck and Judas waited for the right moment.

Matthew tells us that when he saw that Jesus had been condemned, he felt remorse, returned the money and declared I have betrayed innocent blood. That seems odd to us. Didn’t he know that was the very thing he was doing? Wasn’t that the plan? Was it? There had been earlier attempts on Jesus’ life. Once they tried to stone Him. He escaped. Another time, they tried to throw Jesus off a cliff. He escaped. It seemed like Jesus could get out of every trap. Did Judas think that this would be another time?  Did he focus more on the quick and easy money and not the consequences? Each time before, Jesus was threatened by Jews. The Jews were finished with Jesus. They led Him off to Pilate, the Roman official in Jerusalem. Now the situation had escalated. The Romans were involved. They would use their soldiers and their prison. They had their own system of trials. Things had never gotten this serious before. Judas realized that he goofed. He even declared to the priests that Jesus was innocent. Judas never bought into the idea that Jesus was a blasphemer. He knew. He had seen all the miracles. He had seen the compassion and the forgiveness. He had heard the lessons. He, himself, had preached and cast out demons, as directed by Jesus. Jesus was innocent. No question. Judas, Matthew tells us, felt remorse. He was sorry. He would like a do-over. He wanted a mulligan. That wasn’t going to happen. Pilate was wanting to climb the political ladder with Rome and putting an end to  a Jewish riot was important. Judas messed up big time.

He went out and hung himself. A sorry end to an evil and wicked deed. According to Acts, Judas hung until he rotted. No one wanted the body. The disciples didn’t. The Jews didn’t. The Romans didn’t. He died and no one cared. No flowers at a grave. No tears at a memorial. He became food for wild animals.

It is often taught that suicide is a straight ticket to Hell. Some call it “self-murder,” and they reason that since a person died in sin, they will go to Hell. That reasoning is a bit flawed. If not careful, we conclude that our last and final act best be righteous or we all will go to Hell. What if a person said a bad word and then they died? Hell bound because their last act was sinful? That sounds a lot like salvation by works and not grace. It’s terrifying to think that in pain, anger or foolishness someone may say or doing something sinful and then have no chance. Where does God’s grace fit in, or in suicide cases, do we believe that even God’s grace doesn’t work? We need to be careful what we are saying.

Does this mean that suicide is not wrong? No. The greatest issue with suicide is giving up on God. It is believing that problems are greater than God. It is giving up on divine help. It is living without God. With God all things are possible. Greater is He who is in us than he who is in the world. Those taking their life give up on those statements. Their life is so sad and tragic that they feel that they can never come back home, especially to God. Giving up on God is the greatest tragedy of suicide.

Also, suicide is flawed thinking, because a person often believes that they will end their misery, escape justice and just be done with it all. Suicide, death itself, never ends it. Our story does not have a “The End” to it. The cemetery is not the end of the journey. God is. The misery of this life is nothing compared to the misery on the other side of death. Here, with God, there is always hope. On the other side, without God, there is no hope. Suicide is based on ending things. It doesn’t work. It doesn’t end. There is no period to the end of life. The twisted thoughts of those thinking about taking their life never considers what’s on the other side of death. We are not animals. We continue to live after we die. We will face God. Forgiveness is the answer, not taking your life.

This is such a sad subject. Let me add a couple of practical thoughts.

First, when there has been a suicide in a family, don’t be nosey. Everyone wants to know why. Was there a note left? How did they do it? Did they talk about it ahead of time? What was the problem? Don’t ask those things. The family is ashamed. They are embarrassed. Death by cancer and death by suicide are not the same. We view them differently. They affect us differently. Be sensitive to the family. Don’t hold them guilty. They carry enough blame for not seeing things and not doing something. Especially, do not say dumb things like, “Well, we know where he’s at.” Do you? Only God knows. Don’t judge. Remember, the way you judge is the way YOU will be judged.

Second, if someone wants to talk, let them. Don’t change the subject. Don’t whitewash things. Don’t pretend everything is fine, when it is not. This is a time to be a listener. Hugs, tears and compassion is what is needed. The family is grieving as any family would with a death, but more so, because of the way the death came about. Be helpful if you can. Invite God into the conversation. Pray. Those are good things that you can do.

Jesus is hope. That’s the message that we need to tell. Desperate and hopeless hearts need to realize that there is hope in Jesus. God can forgive us. God wants us, even when no one else does. Too many teenagers take their lives every year. It’s hard to understand when they are so young and life is just beginning. The message, the answer, the hope must be Jesus.

Thanks for letting me share these thoughts on this difficult topic.

Roger