Jump Start # 2769

Job 2:9 “Then his wife said to him, ‘Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die!’”

This week I have been writing about my dad’s death and funeral. I hope you haven’t been discouraged by my ramblings about death and funerals. We all must go through those things and I hope that somewhere in these thoughts, some hope, help and assurance can be found. Grief is a journey that each person takes in their own way. Some do alright with it. Others don’t do so well.

I remember telling a couple years ago, who had a shaky marriage, after the death of their teenage son, that they would either pull together or pull apart. They chose to pull apart. A death was followed by a divorce.

Our verse today is a similar reminder. We talk about the sufferings of Job, but we forget that Mrs. Job suffered as well, if not more. It was her children that died. She sat watching her husband suffer. It was their livelihood that was turned upside down. Joy to misery. Happiness to defeat. Smiles to sorrows. That’s where we find Mrs. Job. Her advice? Blame God and throw in the towel. Don’t finish the course. Don’t keep the faith. Point your finger to Heaven and roll over and die. Two sentences is all Mrs. Job speaks in this book. Eleven words. She has the fewest words of anyone in this book. She is finished. She is ready to surrender.

Job wouldn’t have any of that. He rebuked his wife. He said she talked like a foolish person, a person having no faith, which probably well described her at that moment. Job did not sin with his lips. Not sure that could be said about his wife.

And, right here, what we learn is that men and women, husbands and wives, deal with suffering and grief in different ways. And, because each is dealing with it or actually, not dealing with it in their own way, spiritual loneliness can fill the heart.

The feeling of spiritual loneliness is found in:

• Prayers that do not seem to be answered
• Worship that seems empty and not helpful
• Feeling burdened and overwhelmed
• Feeling like you are alone, even though you may be surrounded by people
• Feeling like no one else cares or understands
• Feeling that sorrow is about to overcome you

Spiritual loneliness can be one of the great tests of our faith. It can lead us to being angry. Angry with God. Angry with family. Angry with the world. Seeing Job and Mrs. Job not on the same page ought to help us realize that:

First, as we deal with our own sorrow and grief there are others who also need us. Our examples and our faith can do much to help others as they journey though these feelings. Big ones and little ones in a family have lots of questions, sorrow and concerns. People of faith need to be a rock and point to the Scriptures for help and assurance.

Second, be patient. Healing takes time and not everyone is on the same pace as the rest. Some journey through quickly. Others, takes a much longer time. Don’t expect everyone else to be doing fine just because you are. Don’t be upset with others because you are teary and they are not.

Third, pull together and not apart. Talk if the other person feels like talking. Some will want to just look at pictures over and over. Others won’t. What works for one may not work for others.

Fourth, find ways to busy yourself. For me, it’s work. It takes my mind off of things and puts deadlines on the table. Keeping busy works for many of us.

Fifth, keep connected to God. This is true in home as well as in worship. Don’t drop out for a while. You need the Lord. You need encouragement. You need support. Don’t be afraid to reach out to others. Don’t let yourself slip away without doing something. God’s people are there to help you, if you will let them. God’s word is amazing. It will comfort your heart. It will challenge you to get up and get going. It will remind you, teach you and inform you. The more you can pour God’s word into your soul during the journey of grief, the better you will be on the other side.

Finally, someday you will be on the other side of sorrow. Time is a great healer. There is no way to fast forward to that period. You must walk there, day by day. Some days are better than others. A song, a hymn, a movie, is often all it takes for the flood of sorrow to return. Making wise and godly choices helps. But one day, you’ll be able to talk without the tears. One day, fond memories will fill your heart. Like a surgery, there may always be a scar, but the pain fades. And, with your experiences, you will be able to help others on their journey. Could that be one reason we have the book of Job? Death is part of life and understanding that and going through that, we learn much from the book of Job.

I want to think that Mrs. Job changed her tune. I want to believe, because of Job, that she stopped blaming God and counted her blessings. I want to think that by the end of the book, she stood with Job, side by side, in name and in destination, as they helped each other.

I wonder if we talk so much about death that we rarely mention grief. I wonder if we expect people just to know what to do. I wonder if we do not realize how intense the feeling of sorrow or loss is until we have experienced it ourselves. And, maybe, just maybe, through this little series, we will be more sympathetic, kind and patient when others grieve. Maybe we will teach more about finding right ways to grieve. Maybe we  will understand shepherding and comforting are valuable essentials to our fellowship together. And, maybe, just maybe, we can keep one of us from standing in the shadows of Mrs. Job and being angry with God.

A few years ago I wrote a thirteen week class book on Job. It wasn’t so much a chapter by chapter study as it was lessons we learn. The book was entitled, “Life Lessons from the book of Job.” It may be a good thing to take a look at having gone through this series this week. If you would like a free printed copy, email me: Rogshouse@aol.com. Be sure to include your mailing address.

Thank you,

Roger

Jump Start # 2209

Job 2:9 “Then his wife said to him, “Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die!”

Our verse today are the sad words of Job’s wife. In the story and the context, she is the first one to speak to Job. Her words come before the three friends arrive. Her words are shocking. Rather than, “hang in there Job, I know you’ll get through this,” she said “die.” It’s over for her. Her faith was gone. Her house had collapsed upon the sand of which it was built. She saw no future. In her mind it was time for one more funeral, her husband’s.

Mrs. Job responded in the very way that Satan had hoped Job would. Job didn’t. But through her eyes we learn a powerful lesson about the innocent by-standers who are caught up in the wave of what happens to us.

First, the suffering of the innocent by-stander. We often do not think about this. I think of several couples right now, near and dear to me, who have a spouse that is on the brink of passing into the next world. Tons of prayers and outpouring are going to the one suffering, but there is the families of these people. They suffer as well. Satan’s attacks were targeted for Job, but Mrs. Job suffered as well. A man losing his job at work, impacts the entire family. A preacher who is the object of scorn by some spiritual bullies in the church will not be the only one who suffers that evening in his home. Sitting around a hospital room, watching every shallow breath is hard and heartbreaking for the family. They suffer as well.

Second, the suffering that innocent by-standers experience when one makes wrong spiritual choices. Here is a man who no longer can endure sound doctrine. He doesn’t like that kind of preaching. He declares that he is heading to a mega church which focuses upon fun, feelings and there is no accountability. You can miss as much as you want and no one will say anything. The message is watered down and the Bible is not really known nor studied. Many in the audience do not even bring Bibles. The kids love the exciting activities and you can drink coffee in church without any guilt. Man, it’s great. But his choice hurts and ruins his kids spiritual life. They grow up not knowing the will of God. They grow up picking and choosing what they will believe and thinking that the details really do not matter. Sin is not talked about. Hell is never mentioned. And, the cutting edge of ‘what’s happening now,’ is comedy, drama and eardrum busting rock ‘n roll. What a blast! The hidden theme in all of this is belief that church is about us, it ought to be amazingly fun and God loves us so much that He just doesn’t care. Poor kids will grow up and probably not see any need to even attend the mega-fun-church. It’s not life changing. It’s not built upon conviction. It does not follow the Bible closely at all. You can say what you want. You can drink all you want. Nothing said. Nothing wrong. The kids will think, why even go. And, they probably won’t. All of this came from a dad who decided he was fed up with Bible teaching. A couple of generations later, and his descendants will know nothing at all about the word of God nor the Lord. Innocent by-standers. They suffer.

Third, the opposite of this is the powerful benefits that the innocent by-standers receive when a mom and dad decide to commit themselves to the Lord. Here is a couple and they learn the Gospel truth about the Lord. Their hearts are changed by the word of God. They obey Christ and become very active in the kingdom. They grow. They attend all the time. They are careful what the choices they make. Their children grow up with godliness. Prayers are as common as mashed potatoes at mealtime. The parents make careful choices about what shows to watch. They help their children surround themselves with godly friends. The kids grow, knowing the Bible stories inside and out. They take notes during sermons. They see the great people at church. They grow learning to be careful of what they say and they grow learning to be a servant of others. Their hearts bend toward the Gospel way. In time, they too, become Christians. As they date, purity and righteous go with them. They find godly people to marry. They continue on with these splendid righteous traditions in their own home. Following this family tree, you’ll see a deacon here and there. You may find one who is preaching. You may even find one who serves as a shepherd. All of this came about from a righteous couple who chose to walk with the Lord. The innocent by-standers were influenced by their example and through them others have followed. Modesty, kindness, generosity, compassion, forgiveness and grace define these people. They stand apart from others because of these godly choices.

I think about these contrasts and the impressions that these choices leave upon others. In one home, a baby innocently sticks up his middle finger. He knows nothing. The parents laugh and laugh about that and post pictures on Facebook. They think it’s so cute. When this child is just a little older, his dad will give him a taste of beer. He cringes at the awful taste and the parents just laugh and laugh as they kick the door wide open for ungodliness, sinful choices and a life without God.

But down the street, is another home. In this home, at a very young age, the child is taught to bow his head and say a prayer. At first, no one is sure what he says, but they all clearly hear the distinct “Amen.” He is praised for that. He is taught to not interrupt. He is taught to pick up his toys. His spirit is pulled toward goodness. He thinks of sharing and helping others. He is learning quickly the Gospel way.

Innocent by-standers. They see us at work. They see us in the family. They see our choices. They hear our words. They notice what we talk about. They see what is important to us. Those of the world find little in common with people of faith. They don’t understand why get up and “go to church” on Sunday, when you could go to the lake. They don’t party like the world. However, there is a sense of purpose, calm and confidence about them.

Innocent by-standers. Our choices often impact them. I’m not real sure how “innocent” Mrs. Job really was. She may have been part of Satan’s plans. Lose support at home and maybe Job would cave in as well. He didn’t. Nor, did he tell Mrs. Job to hit the road. Righteous people don’t do those things.

All around you today are people who will be influenced, impacted and effected by the choices you make. “I can do whatever I want to do,” is only spoken by a fool who never realizes that what he does helps or hurts others.

There is always someone like a Mrs. Job who sees what is going on in your life.

Roger

Jump Start # 136

Job 2:9 “Then his wife said t him, ‘Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die!”

  Job’s wife cracked under pressure. She collapsed and caved in. Satan got to her and she threw in the towel. Job’s suffering intensives in the second chapter. God allows Satan to afflict Job. He is given one limitation, Satan cannot take Job’s life. Satan smote Job with boils from the bottom of his feet to the top of his head. Job was miserable. His friends did not even recognize him. Job’s wife had enough. Give up, is her advice. She told Job to curse God because she felt that God was doing this to Job. God was no longer worthy to be followed, she thought, if He would afflict such a righteous person like Job. Satan thought Job would do the same, but he didn’t. We sometimes think that Job’s wife was a witness to all this suffering, but she suffered, too. It was her children that all died. There is something devastating about parents having to bury their children. That is not the order of things. But it happens. I’ve seen it.

  Job’s response to his wife is harsh. He tells her that she speaks like a “foolish woman.” Job is not ready to turn his back on God. Even after all this, Job clings to God.

  Our passage is important. It shows that even within the same family, people react to pain and suffering differently. It also reveals that husbands and wives are not always at the same place spiritually, one may be stronger than the other. Sometimes the faith of one in the marriage begins to die. One doesn’t want to go to church services. Excuses are offered. Sometimes one will try to get the other to stay home. Attempts to go places and do things rather than going to services are made. But it’s not just skipping church services, it’s the dying of faith that takes place. Prayers are no longer offered. Questionable and even wrong behavior that would never have been done before begins to take place.

  We could spend much time talking about the “why’s”. Sometimes it’s the suffering and pain the family has been through. Sometimes it’s a bad experience the family has had with members who are not as they ought to be.

  Whatever the reason, we see the example of Job. He remained with God. He stayed the course. He didn’t quit even when his wife wanted him to. Satan did not conquer Job. He was hurt. He suffered. It was brutal but he remained with God. This is what must be done in the marriage. To compromise for the sake of the one whose faith is dying only kills your faith. To lessen your commitment gives Satan a foothold. It’s hard, very hard.

  Some of you may be there right now. You share a home, a life, a family, but not a faith with your mate. The interest is not there. They do not want to attend services. They do not want to talk about it. Good in all other areas but nothing spiritually. Our hearts break for you. It is your strength, not weakness that will make a difference. Job is your example. Job is your hero. Pray for strength. Talk with others. But don’t give in. That’s what Satan is counting on.

  For those who don’t walk this road, you and your mate are one in name and faith, thank the Lord. Be patient and understanding to those who are not united in faith. Life is hard. But God is good. And Heaven awaits us. The journey ends with God!

Roger