Jump Start # 1042

Hebrews 12:7 “It is for discipline that you endure; God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline?”

  When the subject of discipline comes up, most often our attention is drawn to the home. Throughout Proverbs we find passages about discipline. The ole’ spare the rod verses. There is a powerful example for parents from God about discipline. How God disciplines us is a pattern for how parents ought to discipline children.

Consider some things we know but we sometimes forget:

First, God states the rule or command. We remember that sin is defined as “lawlessness.” Where there is no law, there is no sin. A person cannot be guilty of breaking a rule, if no rule exists. God doesn’t tell us after the fact of a command. God doesn’t make up commands on a whim. He doesn’t change the rules from day to day. It is clearly stated what God expects from us.

There is a lesson for parents. The rules need to be established. The rules need to be clearly defined. Don’t change the rules after the fact, nor punish for something that they did not know was wrong.

Second, God is consistent with His commands and rules. God’s greats, including Moses and David, got in trouble when they violated God’s commands. God didn’t play favorites.

Parents must see the wisdom in what God does. Rules mean nothing if they are not enforced. A child will learn very quickly, that if tears avoid deserved punishment, then they will cry every time. It is not uncommon  for one parent to be perceived as a “softy” and the other as very strict and hard. The child will cater to the “soft” parent. The child will try to get intervention from the soft parent. Parents need to be on the same page when it comes to discipline.

Third, God’s discipline is for our good. This section of Hebrews uses those very words. It is not joyful. Not for the one giving the punishment and certainly not for the one receiving the punishment. The results are amazing. This section states, “that we may share His holiness,” and, it “trains” us, and it leads to the “peaceful fruit of righteousness.” Holy. Righteous. Trained. That’s the purpose of God’s discipline. It’s not to make life miserable, nor to simply inflict pain. God is molding us and shaping us. God is building character in us.

There is a goal in mind when parents discipline. You are training the children. You want good behavior from the child. Without a goal, discipline is just inflicting pain. A child will soon resent the parent for that. The Hebrew passage reminds us that our fathers were respected when they disciplined us. That happens when a child sees the parents point of view. When they see that they were wrong. When they understand that the parents are not against them, but rather, to help them. They want the child to succeed.

Fourth, God loves us. He shows us that. He demonstrates that. He says that. His discipline isn’t intended to crush us and defeat us, but to mold us into the character that is best. God has many forms of discipline. The word of God serves as one form. Earlier in Hebrews the Bible is described as a two edged sword. It cuts. Preaching is another form of God’s punishment. Timothy was told to reprove and rebuke and exhort. Preach the word were Paul’s words to the young preacher. We often talk about “stepping on toes.” That’s the idea here. God’s word, when preached to an honest and good heart, will make us uncomfortable and lead us to change. The example of brethren is another way God disciplines us. The admonition of others is yet another form. Then there is what we call church discipline. The public rebuke or even removing of fellowship from someone who does not want to change their wicked ways. God has many forms of discipline. We understand that the situation and seriousness of things involved determine the amount of time and what form of discipline is necessary.

Parents must show the child that they are loved, even when disciplined. For a child, love and punishment are opposites. They don’t see aq connection. It is important that there are conversations during and after the punishment to emphasize why they were disciplined and to demonstrate how much the parent loves the child. Without love, punishment seems like prison. Most, want to escape prison. Without love, a parent seems like an ogre. Without love, parents seem mean. Love is what drives the punishment. Love will keep the punishment in check.

Parents must have more than just one form of discipline. A young child may need a smack on the behind. A teenager may need to give up his car keys. Parents have to put some thought into what punishment is best for the situation. Different ways, different avenues. All with the same purpose and goal, to train the child to be an honest, loving and obedient person.

Discipline isn’t a time for barging. Discipline shouldn’t turn into shouting matches. The offender doesn’t have much leverage when they are found guilty. They may want to plead their case and beg for mercy, but keep the conversation civil. Parents must keep their anger in check. An angry person will go overboard with punishment. Anger can lead to breaking the spirit of a child. The goal is not destroying the child, but a changed heart so his behavior will change.

It’s challenging being a parent. Each phase the child grows into brings more adventures, opportunities and challenges. Stay with it. Don’t give in nor give up. God establishes His position. He is God. As a parent, you must establish your position. You are the parent. Your position and authority were given to you by God. The child may not like your rules, agree with your rules, or even have the same rules in his home some day, but, for now, he must obey your rules.

Rules need to be consistent. At the store, in the church, at grandma’s house, at home—the rules are the same. Grandparents can mess up rules by ignoring them. This puts the parents in an odd place. There may need to be some private discussions between the parents and grandma, if she continually insists upon ignoring bedtime rules or other things. Grandma is old and just wants someone to play with. She’s not too concerned about rules. Parents have a much larger goal in mind. They are shaping character and building for a future.

May God continue to help you as you raise your family.

Roger

Jump Start # 542

Hebrews 12:7 “It is for discipline that you endure; God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline?” 

  Our passage today shows us how God views Christians and it helps explain why God does what He does. He views Christians as His children, which we are. We belong to Him. Paul’s writings talk about being adopted, other expressions use the terminology of the household of God. Family, when it’s healthy and love based, there is nothing like it. Most of us can’t get enough time with our families. When the kids are grown and out on their own, coming home to Mom and Dad is an exciting time.

  Within our passage is the concept of authority. It says, “God deals with you as sons…” That includes love and acceptance, but also admonitions, lessons, and as the verse identifies, discipline. Several verses are given to show the comparison between the discipline of our earthly fathers and the discipline from God. Discipline isn’t pleasant at the moment we are told. We don’t need a Bible verse to tell us that—having been there, most of us wouldn’t argue much with that revelation. Whether it was a spank on the behind, grounding, standing in the corner, having to do some extra work—discipline isn’t fun. It’s not intended to be. It comes after the child has done something wrong. The child isn’t discipline for doing what he was supposed to, it’s the opposite. When the child hasn’t done what he was supposed to, or worse, he has chosen to do wrong things, then the discipline comes.

  Discipline shows that the parent, or in our passage, God, doesn’t approve of what we did. Discipline has a way of grabbing our attention and making us realize that we best stop what is wrong and start doing what is right, because the parent means business. Throughout Proverbs God tells us that a child that gets his way will bring sorrow and shame to his parents. God says to not spare the rod. Moderns today would scream at such verses. They tell you if you spank your child he’ll be off mentally and emotionally, likely grow up violent, and may even turn to crime. One report I read, tried to explain the reasoning behind robbing banks with being spanked as a child. God is not defending abuse, or injuring the child. However, unlike moderns, God wants the parents to raise the child and to teach them about rules, authority and consequences. The home is not a democracy. The parent is in charge and must take charge.

  God disciplines us today. Have you ever been spanked by God? How is this done and why? The discipline of God comes in many forms. The most obvious way is through the word of God. When Hebrews describes the Bible as living and active and sharper than a two edged sword, it is showing the power and intent of the Bible. It has a way of working on our conscience. It moves us to better behavior. It leads us to repentance. The Word works!

  God also uses the word preached to bring about the corrective changes in us. People once said of sermons, “That stepped on my toes,” meaning that got me, that stung me, that hit me. It should. That is one of the purposes of sermons. They are not intended to be a happy pill that makes us laugh and forget life for thirty minutes. Sermons should teach, warn and even correct when necessary. Paul put it this way, “reprove, rebuke and exhort,” when he reminded Timothy about preaching. Some play spiritual dodge ball with the sermon, never making applications, never allowing it to hit them, and never benefiting for what was said. Sermons can help us. God can work through sermons to discipline us.

  God also uses other Christians to discipline us. It may come from a heart to heart discussion. Someone cares enough that they want to help you. It may be the leadership in the church that does this, they should. Sometimes we don’t listen, the talks may be more frequent and more intense. At stake is our souls. Wrong behavior has many implications, first and foremost our own souls. Our families can be at stake. Our circle of friends can be influenced. Eventually, when one is stubborn and refuses to stop wrong behavior, the church has to discipline by removing fellowship. That’s something that few ever talk about any more. It’s not excommunicating, nor is it shunning, but it’s a change in our relationship because one continues to continue in sin. Doing nothing gives the impression of approval. Doing nothing shows a lack of concern and love. Places like 1 Cor 5 and 2 Thes 3 talk about this. It’s not a happy day when discipline must take place. It isn’t at home. It isn’t at church. It’s done, like at home, so happier days can return. It’s done to help someone who is crashing their life and refusing to go by God’s rules.

  God also works on our conscience. Guilt is a wonderful way of stopping what is wrong. God doesn’t intend for us to live in the land of guilt but He uses it to remind us that we are not doing right. A guilty conscience is not a fun place to be. It will bring one to his knees to ask God for forgiveness.

  Discipline—never pleasant, but necessary to teach and to keep one going the right direction. If God didn’t care, He’d let us go, away from Him and straight to Hell. If the parent didn’t care, they’d let the child quit school, join a street gang and engage in crime. The reason God steps in, the reason the parent jumps in, is because of love.

  God loves you so much and He wants you to spend forever with Him in Heaven. There are times we forget that. There are times the trinklets that Satan dangles before our eyes look so appealing that we are willing to trade our souls in for them. We get discouraged and weary and simply want to quit. We listen to the wrong things and get confused. We become selfish, once again. God’s not going to sit on the sidelines and lose you. He’ll bring the arsenal of Heaven out to save you. He wants you in Heaven!

  Spiritual spankings are necessary. We need them once in a while. They work, when we get it and get back to God.

Roger