Jump Start # 2958

Ecclesiastes 7:2 “It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, because that is the end of every man, and the living take it to heart.”

I was in a funeral home the other day and of course this passage came to my mind. It is good to be here, was the thought. There are times when we are forced to think things that we may not normally do. And, there is much good and value that can come from that.

For instance, life has a way of making you think of things you may not normally think about. Taking your wife to the hospital to have a baby is one of those moments. You are now going to be a parent. A little person is going to turn to you first with questions. That little person is going to do what you do. Life has a way of making think about things that you may not.

In that funeral home the other day, I was sitting next to a friend. We got talking about retirement and where we are going to be buried. Wow, those are big topics. Heavy, is what they would call that back in the ‘60s. When you are in your 30’s, you are not thinking about retirement and definitely not where you want to be buried. Those thoughts aren’t on the radar screen. Not at all. But when you hit your 60’s and beyond, now those thoughts come to your mind. Life forces you to think about those things.

Preaching also has a way of getting us to think about things that we may not normally do. That’s the beauty of preaching and the challenge before us. Putting forth questions about our walk with the Lord, our eternal destiny, and our purpose here, makes us think. This is why preaching tends to step on our toes and knock the polish off of our shoes. It causes us to think about spiritual things. It causes us to lower the nets and think beyond the superficial and artificial things in life.

Our passage says, ‘the living take it to heart.’ The living are thinking. They are thinking about a life now over. The living are thinking about their own life. The living realizes that death is real and there is no escaping it. Take it to heart—thinking things that you may not normally think about.

Here are some considerations:

First, some people never take anything to heart. They can sit through a funeral and not even for a second will they consider that they might be next. I’ve been to funerals where the grandfather is in the casket, died from lung cancer, and the family is outside on the front porch smoking. I guess they don’t get it. Some can sit through a sermon and their minds are miles away. As Jesus was teaching, a man asked Him to settle a family problem about money. He wasn’t paying attention. Martha interrupted Jesus because her sister wasn’t helping her. Some can have a real scare in their family, such as, a serious car accident, a cancer, a child that was missing, and yet, after the crisis passes, nothing. No changes. No thankfulness to the Lord. No better behavior. No seeking Jesus. Nothing. They never took it to heart.

Second, some take it to heart for a little while. After the funeral, all the people, all the flowers, all the cards, all the food, it touches some. It makes them appreciative. Some will even show up a Sunday or two for worship. The thoughts of wanting to be with mom in Heaven causes some to realize that they need to step it up spiritually. And, they do, for a short time. But, it doesn’t last. Within a month, they are back into their old routine and things as they were before the funeral. Nothing much changed.

This is also true of sermons. Some can be convicted and feel the need to do better. And, they do, but it just doesn’t last very long. Maybe they come every night of a meeting. But the meeting ends, and back to their old ways of just showing up now and then continues. They took it to heart, but it didn’t last.

Third, some make real changes after ‘taking it to heart.’ You see it. They seem less selfish. They become more patient. They stick around after services and are connecting more. They bring prayer to the kitchen table. They have more deeper conversations with others. The funeral hit them. The sermon stuck. The events changed them and it changed them for the better. What happened is that they took it to heart and it stayed in their heart.

Life and sermons—they have a way of making us think. Sometimes we may not like the topic, such as our death, but ignoring that won’t make it go away. What it will do is leave us unprepared and leave a mess for our family.

The living take it to heart…sure wish more would do that. Sure wish I’d do that more. ‘Gotta work on that, how about you?

Roger

Jump Start # 2054

Ecclesiastes 7:2 “It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, because that is the end of every man and the living takes it to heart.”

In the seventh chapter of Ecclesiastes, Solomon runs through a list of comparisons. Some things are better than others. His list seems backwards and most would say that this list doesn’t make sense. Sorrow is better than laughter? The day of one’s death is better than the day of one’s birth? Rebuke is better than songs? The end is better than the beginning? Our verse, a house of mourning is better than a house of feasting?

Not only would most question Solomon’s thinking on this, most have lived just the opposite of these. We avoid sorry and fill our lives with sit-coms, funny jokes and laughter. We avoid confrontations and rebuke. We don’t think about death. And, we only go to the funeral home when it is absolutely necessary. And, even then, modern funerals are filled with stories of laughter. We do all we can to take the opposite approach to what Solomon said so long ago.

So, what are we supposed to “take to heart” when we go to the house of mourning?

Death happens to everyone. The passage states, “because that is the end of every man.” It’s not regulated to a specific group of people. Cancer doctors get cancer. Preachers who preach about death, die. The rich. The poor. The educated. The uneducated. Those in the city and those who live out in the country. Of all the names in the Bible, only Enoch and Elijah didn’t die. Even Jesus died.

So, the living take that to heart. We don’t have forever to get things done. We don’t have forever to get around to doing what is right and good. Time flies. We get busy. Before long a lifetime has passed. Bucket lists of places to visit are nice, but much better is a spiritual bucket list. Things you wanted to do that make a difference before your time here is gone. It’s going to happen. You are not getting out of here alive.

2. Death comes unannounced. I met a very nice man last month in Florida while preaching there. He served as one of the elders of that congregation. Great guy. Last Saturday, while fishing, there was an accident and he drowned. His family, the church, and those that knew him were all shocked and crushed at this. No one knew it would happen that day. Car accidents. Crime. Mishaps. And, suddenly a life is finished here.

So, the living take it to heart. Each day could be my last day. Live that way. Honor God. Love your family. Leave footprints for others to follow. We have become masters at putting off difficult things. The talk you need to have with your teenager about their behavior and attitude. Apologizing to your mate for being so critical and demanding. We’ll do it, we tell ourselves. Just not now. And, getting right and doing right with the Lord. We hear the sermons. We know. We plan to. We will. That is, if we can.

3. Death leaves a hole that is often hard to fill. The living must live. They must move on without the one who has died. In the family, things are never the same. Some families survive and are ok. Others are never the same after that. The greater the role someone has in the congregation, the larger the hole that will be left. The death of an elder, a deacon or a preacher, impacts the congregation. Worship and work must go on.

So, the living take it to heart. In the family, financial preparations and papers ought to be in place to help the family if you are no longer there. Tell others where your papers are. Have a discussion about these things. In the church, forward thinking ought to lay out plans for a legacy. Who will be the next elders? Who will be the next preacher? Begin developing people for those roles.

4. Death isn’t the end. That’s the story of the N.T. Jesus rose to never die again. Because of Jesus, there is no “The End,” to our story. We simply switch rooms in the house of God. Because of Jesus, death is no longer feared. It’s seen as a doorway to take us to the Lord.

So, the living take it to heart. The living realize that they need to believe in Christ. They need to walk daily with the Lord. They need to be forgiven, and live with a purpose that God has given us. The account of the rich man and Lazarus in Luke 16 shows us that they had identity, memory, feeling and understanding after death. Death isn’t the worst thing that can happen to us. This world is caught up in things that really doesn’t matter. Most of TV is a mindless waste of time. Image and labels are vain. What matters is faith in Christ. The heart that pays attention to these things will pour more of its interests into the eternal and the spiritual side of things. He will find himself being more of a servant like Jesus was. He sees what God values and that’s what he is interested in.

The living take it to heart. I have seen folks change because of a funeral. It wasn’t so much what was said, but the out pouring of love and help. I know one who was led to Christ because of the love he witnessed from a congregation. I know another who saw all the food and care that was given to his family and he remarked, “I’ve never done that for others.” He changed because of that.

The sad thing is that there are hundreds of funerals every day and how few of the living take it to heart. How few look inward and wonder, “what about me?” What have I done with my life? How have I helped others? This isn’t it, and am I ready to stand before God? No, they don’t think those thoughts. They move return to their busy schedules with hardly another thought. The funeral is forgotten. Time passes and nothing worthwhile came from it.

But for some, the living takes it to heart. The house of mourning has affected the living. It has opened their eyes. They noticed something that they have not thought of before. The living has been changed. It was good for them to be there.

Now, we begin to understand, “It is better to go to the house of mourning, than the house of feasting, because that is the end of every man and the living take it to heart.”

Roger

.Jump Start # 966

Ecclesiastes 7:2 It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting,
because that is the end of every man, and the living takes it to heart.”

Much of this week we have been looking at the subject of grieving and death. Most of us would like to avoid going there, but life takes us there whether we like it or not. Death changes things. It is an interesting contrast that I have witnessed many times. Standing in a cemetery beside a casket, offering a few words of comfort for a family whose heart has just been crushed, and watching cars pass by on a street. For those driving by, they are busy with life– going places, listening to music, talking on cell phones. They seem to be in a hurry. For those gathered around the grave, life has stopped. Whatever they had planned that day was cancelled. They came to a funeral. With tears in their eyes and sorrow in their hearts, nothing else seems to be more important at that moment. What a contrast.

Ecclesiastes seven lists a series of contrasts. Solomon tells us one thing is better than another. What he tells us is better, is not what we would have chosen. Our verse is a supreme example of that. Go to the house of feasting or the house of mourning? I don’t have to think about that one. Feasting involves food. I’m in. Feasting implies conversation, laughter and fun. I’m in. I don’t know exactly what feasting Solomon had in mind, but for me, I’m thinking watching football with family and friends, with some chips and dip and other delightful things to munch on. I’m thinking chocolate. Fun, fun, fun. That’s not the best choice. Solomon tells us the house of mourning is better. In Solomon’s day, the house of mourning was not the funeral home. That is a rather modern concept. Even in my grandparents day, when someone died, they were “laid out” in the home. That sounds creepy to most of us. It’s just the way things were done back then. I remember seeing an envelope in my grandmother’s house that had two pennies from the 1930’s. I asked her about it and was told that the pennies were placed on some family members eyes to keep them closed. They would use pennies with the date of the person’s death. Again, very odd to most of us today. For Solomon, the house of mourning would have been the house in which a person lived. Funerals were generally held on the day a person died. A huge gathering of mourners would be found at the house. Jesus experienced that when he went to the home of Jairus. Jesus sent the mourners away and raised the young girl from the dead.

For us, the house of mourning is the funeral home. Party or funeral? Better the funeral. Solomon tells us why. He reminds us that the living take it to heart.

What lessons do we take from the house of mourning?

• People I know and love die. We hear of death everyday. Planes crash. Cars wreck. Violence happens. These stories make the nightly news. So many video games and movies show death that it doesn’t do much to us. But then death comes close to us. Someone we know. Someone we love dies. Death takes on a different meaning. Some are taken before they accomplished their life’s work. Some had so much more to give. Death doesn’t wait for us. People I love die.

• Our values change in the house of mourning. Somehow stuff doesn’t matter in the house of mourning. What affects us and hits us is the character of the person that passed away. We don’t think about how big his TV was, or what labels he wore, or how nice his yard was—what matters is what kind of person he was. That’s what draws us to the funeral home. Outside of family, we go to funerals because the person was a friend to us. The person was kind to us. The person made a difference to us. We forget that in the house of feasting. At the feast we do think about the kind of plates we are eating on, how big the TV is that we are watching, the kind of chairs that we are sitting in—stuff seems important in the house of feasting. We try to leave good impression upon others. That impression usually is atmosphere, food, entertainment and superficial things. The house of mourning makes us think about the kind of character of person that died.
• The house of mourning draws a connection between us and death. We think about that. We don’t want to think about it, but we do. In our minds we realize that someday it will be us in the funeral home. We wonder what people will think about us. We wonder what we have done in life. We wonder what God thinks about us. Feasting doesn’t do that. At a party, we don’t think about hosting a party in our house. We are busy with the moment. Friends, food and fun are the thoughts of the moment. We don’t give much thought about the eternal, God or where our lives are leading us. We ought to, but we don’t. Funerals do that. We see pictures that cover a lifetime. We are taken back to memories and moments we spent with the one who passed away. We reflect. We consider. We think. We pray. The house of mourning is good for that. It could be that is why so many dread going to funerals—they don’t want to be reminded. They don’t want to think that it could be them the next time. This reflection has a way of getting our priorities in the right order. Things tend to get jumbled up and we often forget what is most important. Ballgames, food, fun and buying stuff often seem to be the most important things in life. We’d never say that, but we demonstrate that by our choices. After the funeral, there is a tug on our heart to be a better person. We want to talk about real things. We want to be around family and friends. The house of mourning is a place where many resolutions take place. We resolve to be better, to do more, to make a difference, to talk to the family member about Jesus. Why? We know that death is real. We know that death is coming. We reflect in the house of mourning.

• The house of mourning connects us with God. We want a preacher at the funeral. Folks who never go to church, still want a preacher at the funeral. Folks that never read the Bible, want the Bible read at funerals. We want prayers at funerals. Folks that never gave a thought about the spiritual will insist upon the spiritual at the funeral. Maybe they think that will get them into Heaven. Doesn’t work that way. Maybe it’s their conscience telling them what they know. Maybe they are hoping that there is something beyond this life. There is, they just haven’t thought about it, nor believed it. It’s interesting that those who never have time for God when living, now want God at the funeral. They don’t want the bartender saying words. They don’t want to read the sports page at the funeral. Funerals bring out the spiritual. It connects us with God.

Those that have walked with God throughout their life, having a preacher, prayers and Bible readings at their funeral are all very natural. It was a part of their life. They believe. They know and trust what God has said. They know that the cemetery is not the end of the journey.

The house of mourning teaches and reminds us of things that no other place does. It’s good to go there, even when we don’t want to. What we walk away from those places with a heart that can change us and make us a better people.

Our day will come. At that time, nothing a preacher says at our funeral will change our eternal destiny with God. We determine those things while we are living. We make the choices. We include God or we ignore God. Our choice. Our consequences. Our eternity.

The house of mourning…

Roger