Jump Start # 1869

1 Thessalonians 4:18 “Therefore comfort one another with these words.”

Our verse today is found at the end of a section that describes what happens to the righteous when they die. There must have been some concern on the part of the Thessalonian Christians. Paul’s words reminds them of the great hope that is found in Christ. There is a hope only in Christ. Based upon that foundation, the brethren found comfort in the words of God.

Comfort is something that everyone wants. We call those big thick blankets on our beds, “Comforters.” When a baby is not comfortable, whether he is hungry, hot, tired, needs a diaper change, he’ll let you know. We want comfortable beds, easy chairs and rides in our automobiles. We don’t like long lines at the store. We don’t like delays at the airport. We don’t like waiting in traffic jams caused by road construction. The dentist tries his best to make the process of a dental exam as comfortable as he can. We want air conditioners to cool us in the summer and the furnace to warm us in the winter. We want to be comfortable.

There are times when things are not comfortable. Seeing a man who never wears a tie, at a wedding, wearing a tie, can be very amusing. He’ll tug and pull at his collar, move his head around, squirm and is obviously very uncomfortable. But there are things much worse than that poor guy wearing a tie at a wedding.

There is the cancer patient who goes through long, long treatments. They can be sickening, painful and very unpleasant. These must be taken, because without this, there remains no hope of surviving. There are the parents of a teenager who sits in jail or is addicted to drugs. Their pain is much different than the cancer patient, but it is likewise very hard and something that just doesn’t go away. There is the young mother who is trying to pick up the pieces of her life after her husband has left her for someone else. She struggles with doing it all— having to work, be the only parent, take care of the house. She’s scared, tired and uncertain. Her life is not like the cancer patient but it is inside out and not comfortable at all. Then there is the sweet grandma who drives alone to a cemetery to stand and stare at a grave that holds the body of her husband. They were married for decades. Now death has taken his life. She is alone. Her kids are busy in their world. No words are said, she just stands and stares at that lonely grave.

There are many people today who are “uncomfortable.” Life has thrown them a curve ball, and things have not turned out as they expected. They try their best to keep moving on, but it’s hard. One of the things I believe God calls upon His children to do is to help those who are uncomfortable in life. Jesus did that. He helped those who were hurting and scared because they had leprosy. He helped the parents who had just seen their little daughter die. He helped a woman who had made a wrong choice and now was caught and was in serious trouble. She had committed adultery and now the crowd was demanding for her execution.

Helping others—doing good for others, is a trademark of Christians. That help may come in the form of encouraging words. It may come in the form of doing something that lightens the burden that someone is carrying. It comes in the form of just sitting with others. It comes in the form of answering questions and opening up the pages of the Bible. Often, the things we do will not remove the problems. They may seem like band-aids to a much deeper issue. They are expressions of love and care. It reminds a person that they are not alone in this journey.

One of the things that often makes problems and misery intense, is trying to chase down the cause. Why? Why do I have cancer? Why did my mate die? Why are my kids so disrespectful? Why? Why now? Why me? Our pain is often multiplied because of these deep questions that keep bothering us. We look around us and life seems to be running pretty smoothly for our friends and family. Their mates aren’t walking out on them. They don’t have cancer. Their kids are not in jail. Why me? Why now?

Why do some suffer and others don’t? There are some reasons. There are also some things we may never know.

Our lifestyle choices can bring pain and misery to our lives. Just as filling your stomach with junk food on a regular basis is going to catch up with you, filling your mind and your heart with junk will do the same. The environment we create for ourselves has a lot to do with these things. A steady diet of hate music, friends that are miserable and complaining about everything, will turn us into being grumpy, complaining and even mean.

Because of man’s sin, way back in the garden, God has punished mankind with death. Hebrews 9 tells us that it is appointed unto man to die once. That is set. God does not promise that you’ll to be 95 and then fall asleep in bed and never wake up. Death comes in many fashions. It may be that little baby that is put in his bed at night and he never wakes up again. So unfair. So tragic. It may be in a car accident on the way to work. It may be a disease. The “whys” are known only to God. Unfair, it is. Not right, probably true.

Why then doesn’t a good God do something about this? Why doesn’t God stop terrorists from killing children? Why doesn’t only the bad people get cancer? Our world is broken because of sin. This is not Heaven and it will never be. There is pain. There is injustice. There are things that are not right and fair. Why does God allow a sweet, sweet baby to die? Why did God allow His only Son to die? Jesus could have stopped it. When the crowds boasted, come down from the cross, one by one, those nails could have popped out. The crowd would have run in panic if that happened. If that happened, there would be no Heaven for us.

Our hope is in God. God’s greatest ones endured fiery furnaces, lion’s dens, prisons, beatings, stonings. John had his head beheaded. He was the cousin of Jesus. Some were sawn in two as Hebrews tells us. Jeremiah was put in a well. Where was God during all those times? The same place He is during your storms and pain. He is upon the throne in Heaven. It is our faith that endures past death. It is our faith that keeps us going. It is our faith that will make us triumphant. Satan wants to crush you. He wants you to point your finger at God and give up, just as Job’s wife had. He wants you to blame God. He wants you to walk away from God. But if you do, who do you walk to? There is no one other than God who can care for you, carry you, hear you, and deliver you.

Our hope is not here, but there, where God is. Cancer can crush our body, but not our faith. Death can bring tears to our eyes, but it can’t shut the door to our hope and faith. The postcard we have from Heaven, given not in pictures but in words, tells us of a place where there is no death, no sorrow, no pain and no tears. We want that now. We want that here. But it can’t happen. It will never happen. But we can have that if we walk by faith.

Comfort one another with these words—not just our verse today, but the truth to a suffering world. Jesus will take the faithful home. Someday all these problems will be over. Our problems do not go with us to Heaven. Are you walking with Jesus? Are you reading His word? Are you doing what He says? Do you have real faith and hope? Heaven is more than a dream or a wish. It is home for the Christian.

Roger

Jump Start # 965

1 Thessalonians 4:18 “Therefore comfort one another with these words.”

Yesterday our Jump Start dealt with the theme of death and Heaven. We continue with more thoughts. The death of a Christian brings comfort in knowing that their suffering has ended and that they are with the Lord, the best place that they could be. It helps knowing that they live on. The cemetery is not the end of the story. In many ways, we can handle our own death much better than the death of one in our immediate family. It’s the grieving, the loss, the returning to life, the continuing on with an empty place at the dinner table that is so hard. The selfish part of us never wants to let the one we love go. But it’s not just selfish, there is a loss. Each person adds value to life. The death of someone very close to us, in many ways is the death of part of us. I write these thoughts for those who have had to carry on without someone else.

Our verse dealt with a misunderstanding that the Thessalonians had. They were confused about the second coming of Jesus. They feared that those Christians that had passed away would miss out on the coming of the Lord. Paul’s words took away their fears and doubts. He assured them that they would be with the Lord. They would be raised first. They would not be forgotten, overlooked, or left out. God would take care of their loved ones. This section ends with our verse, “comfort one another with these words.” There is comfort in the promises of God. There is hope in what God says. Trust God. Believe Him. That’s what our verse is about.

How does one pick up and go on after a death? Shakespeare said everyone can master a grief except the one who has it. It’s easy to be a back seat driver on this subject, giving out all kinds of advice and you ought to do this and that. I have found a lot of that is just talk and when one is grieving, while they know those things are true, it doesn’t take away the pain. Nothing seems to take away the pain.

First, every person deals with grief in a different way. Men grieve differently than women. Men don’t like to cry. We bottle up our feelings. We don’t like to talk about these kinds of things. “We’re ok,” is what guys tell everyone. They keep saying that to others, hoping that they could only believe that. Women, cry a lot. That’s ok. That’s part of the healing. Folks that study these things tell us that are seven stages of grief. That’s clinical, often it’s not reality. People grieve differently. Some may go through all seven stages. Some may skip some. Some may stay in one stage a long time. Others may fly through the stages. I wouldn’t worry about the stages nor where you are, nor where experts say you are supposed to be. Most of that stuff needs to be put away for psychology class.

There are some do’s and don’ts of grieving. We know these things but it helps to be reminded.

• Don’t give up on God. Some get angry with God. Some blame God. Some feel that God refused to answer their prayers. God loves you. He is not wicked nor twisted. He does not delight in seeing His child in misery and crying. He doesn’t smile because you mourn. He’s not that kind of God. This is especially hard when parents have to bury one of their children. The parent has lived their life. They would rather die and let the child live. That’s not our choice. That unfairness can drain our faith. It’s been hard for me to understand the recent deaths of a very gifted gospel preacher and another one who served as an elder. Both were not old. Both were busy in God’s kingdom. Why them? The church needs them. We try to manufacture an answer for every feeling and question, and sometimes we just don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know why them. I don’t know why now. I do know that God is good. I do know that He remains on the throne. Why did God allow the apostle James to be executed so soon after things started with the church? I do know that throwing in the towel on God is not going to help things. It will not bring the answers you long for, nor will it bring your loved one back. It may keep me from ever seeing my loved one again, because if I give up on God, I give up on salvation, hope and Heaven. There is no hope then for me. Also, the Christian who departed certainly wouldn’t want me to give up.
• Grief lives next door to discouragement and depression, the two ugly sisters of our emotions and mind. The journey from grief to depression is quick and easy. When we are sad, down and emotionally in a funk, we don’t feel like doing things. Staying in bed all day seems to be the best solution. It’s not. Keeping the curtains closed and playing songs that remind us of our loved one only puts us in a deeper depression. The thing we do not feel like is being around other people. We avoid them. We don’t want to answer their incessant questions, like “How are you doing?” Or, “Are you getting over it now?” We hate those things. However, loneliness feeds grief and depression. We sink deeper into the pit that way. I’m not a fan of pills. I know that there are times for them. I think our times use pills too often. Back in the olden days, people just got tough and dealt with life. God told Elijah to get out of the cave, eat and go appoint someone as king. Get out. Take care of yourself. Do something for someone else. That’s God’s therapy. It works. It doesn’t sound very good when you are in a cave. What you feel like doing is just rolling over in bed and staying another month in that cave. Bad idea. It makes the journey longer and harder. Doing something for others gets your mind off of self. Getting back to work is helpful. Praying often helps. Worship is hard. There are certain hymns that will bring a flood of tears. Some song leaders will choose those songs on purpose. They think that they are helping you. Little do they know that it only makes things worse. God’s word really helps. Read. Think. Pray. Get out of the house. Find a project to keep you busy.
• Take advice carefully. This includes mine. People mean well. Many who never have been where you seem to know exactly what you ought to do. Amazing! Some will tell you that you must rid your house of clothes and items that belonged to the one who passed away. Some will tell you that you have to do it by a certain time. Really? Who made them the boss of these things. Others will try to get you to book a trip with them. Some will be so bold as to try to arrange a date with a friend. These people are trying. Some things they say work and are useful. Some things they say need to be put out with the trash. I have found that brethren tend to be nosey and a bit pushy in these areas. Not every question needs an answer. Not every probing question is their business. Be kind. Express gratitude for their concern. Do not feel that you owe an answer. Questions about finances, whether you are going to continue to live in that house, what are your plans for his car, what are you going to do now—are just too revealing. Understand your friends don’t know how to act just as you don’t know how to act. They don’t know if they should bring up the subject or if they should avoid it. If you bring up his death, they may try to get you to change the subject. Your friends are experiencing a new journey as well as you.
• Time helps. It does. Surgery hurts at first. Later, you heal. Grief is like that. The first year is a real bummer. There is no fast forwarding through that. It’s a journey. The first holidays, anniversary, birthdays with one missing just rips your heart out. It does. Tears flow. You have buried a part of yourself as well. But also, a part of the deceased is living in you. Time heals. You’ll get better. Talk to those who have walked where you are. Talk to strong Christians. Forget the books. Don’t listen too much to those who are not Christians. It’s different for them. It’s different for you. Return to life. Live. You will smile again. You will laugh again. You will feel good again. It does happen.

• Help others. This takes time. But you will find others, especially Christians, who face similar tragic events as you have. Be there for them. Listen. Use Scripture. Share your story. Each person has a different story. Don’t try to over trump their tragedy with what you went through. Let them know what worked and what didn’t work for you. Keep them connected to the Lord. Offer to sit with them during worship. Keep an eye on them. Your experience may be the very thing they need.

I don’t know if any of this helps. I hope. There are so many brethren who are grieving now. I wish there was a magical verse that would quickly heal you. There is not. I know you are embarrassed by your tears, I am not. I know you hurt. I pray for you. I hope that when it is my time to walk the sad journey of grief that you will be there for me.

Roger

Jump Start # 492

1 Thessalonians 4:18 “Therefore comfort one another with these words.”

  Comfort is something most of us long for and go out of our way to find. Comfortable clothes to wear, comfortable bed to sleep in, thermostat set at a comfortable temperature—those are regular routines in our world to bring us comfort.

  Our passage addresses a much deeper level of comfort. It’s the inner comfort of the heart and soul. We may call that peace or joy or satisfaction. Our clothes, bed and air temperature may be just right, but when things are not right in the heart, external things will not make us feel better.

  The context of our passage has to do with the death of Christians. Their loved ones had passed away and they were “uncomfortable” on the inside about that. That’s a common reaction and feeling. Often in the O.T., when tragedy or bad news happened a man would put on sack cloth and pour ashes on his head. The point was that he was miserable on the inside and he was going to be miserable on the outside.

  There are many reasons why a person may be uncomfortable on the inside. Guilt will do that. Sin definitely does that. Regrets, failures, hurting others, failure to forgive, being accused of something you didn’t do—those are all the things that rob us of sleep, irritate our stomachs, occupy our thoughts and lead to fear, worry, doubt and depression. Miserable on the inside. No one likes that feeling. The only way to find comfort is in God. The bottle numbs the feelings, but the problems remain. Leaving town is only a band-aid, the problem remains. Going to a funny movie, being with friends are all temporary things that simply do not last.

  Paul helped the Thessalonians by giving them hope and promise through God’s word. Their fellow believers had died. Was that the end? What happens next? They were not sure and that led to them being miserable on the inside.

  The words of Paul taught them that the departed believers had gone to be with the Lord. When the Lord returns, He will bring them with him. Those believers who are alive when the Lord comes will be reunited with them. Sprinkled in these words are the assurance of a resurrection and the hope that lies in Jesus Christ. God has not abandoned these departed believers. These words were intended to build faith, remove doubt and comfort one another.

  It’s going to be ok—is what Paul is saying. Their walk and their faith in Jesus Christ has not gone unnoticed by God. He’s taken care of them. They are with the Lord.

  Death tends to bring questions to our minds. We wonder what the departed is doing. We wonder what their world is like. We wonder if we will ever see them again. Fair questions. Good questions. Questions that are answered in the Bible.

 There is a comfort that only God can give. Hot chocolate, warm blankets and a fire place may make us feel good on the outside, but only God can help us on the inside. The guilt, fear, doubts and sins are what God is good at helping us with.

  Often no one really understands what you are experiencing. And even if they did, they usually don’t know what to say. God does. His word has a way of giving hope to hopeless people. Lepers who lived a terrible life knowing what their fate would be, found mercy in Jesus Christ. The woman caught in sexual sin found mercy in Jesus Christ. Heaven isn’t just for those who make honor roll in God’s book, it’s for all who walk with Jesus. God doesn’t have an A team and a B team. There’s no junior varsity team with God.

  God can save all of us. God can use all of us. God has a plan for all of us. Not just those who are nice, but all of us. Some of us have journeyed far from God and have gone down the dark paths of sexual sins, drug addictions and theft. Some have spent time in prison for those wrongs. Some have walked away from marriages when they should have stayed. Some have given up their babies when they couldn’t keep them. Some have wasted years, tons of money and trashed relationships and ruined themselves with their families. Not all of us have come from good families who took us to church. Not all of us grew up on the stories of Noah and David. Many do not have fond memories of childhood.

  The Corinthians were like that. They worshipped idols, they were sexually immoral, they were drunks, cheaters, homosexuals, and thieves. They knew the dark side of life. They understood misery on the inside. Paul tells us that they were washed, sanctified and justified in the name of Jesus. They were made right by God. They found comfort in Christ.

  God does not give up on us. He never will. The only thing that will bring true comfort to your inside is God. Nothing else will. Nothing else lasts.

  Comfort one another with these words. There is hope—and it’s found in Jesus. Maybe one of these cold evenings, you need to wrap yourself up in a fuzzy blanket, grab a cup of hot coca, and open the Bible and read about God’s mercy and God’s love for you. See where God has a plan for you. See where God wants you to obey Him and follow Him. Find the comfort that only God can give—even in the time of death. There’s nothing else like it.

  God is good, He’s so good to us!

Roger