Jump Start # 306

1 Peter 3:7 “You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”

  Our verse today addresses some of the responsibilities men have to their wives. Earlier in this chapter Peter talks about the women. Often when a sermon is about marriage, the men are hoping that the preacher gives it to the wives and the wives are hoping that the preacher will thump the husbands. Our attitudes ought to be, “help me be the person God wants.” In a discussion on what would improve the marriage, many would suggest that their mate change instead of thinking that they ought to change.

  This verse gives men two central thoughts. This is what God wants husbands to do.

1. Live with your wife in an understanding way. I remember one guy saying once, ‘The only thing I understand about my wife is that I don’t understand her.’ The reason for that is because we think she ought to reason and think like we do. She won’t. She’s a woman. Women think men ought to think the way they do. They won’t. They’re men.

  Peter emphasizes this principle by adding, “as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman.” Generally, men are stronger than women, generally. Not always. This is not about strength, but how one treats another. A vessel is a container. Peter is saying that she is fragile. She is precious. Have you ever gone into a shop that sells a lot of glass items? If you are in there with kids, you get very nervous. I saw a sign in such a shop once that said, “Pretty to look at, lovely to hold, if you break it, we consider it sold!” In other words, be careful. That’s what Peter is saying. Be careful with her. She’s not lawn furniture that sits out in the rain, she’s the fine coach that you don’t eat or drink on for fear of spilling. Treat her that way.

  Husbands need to understand and so live with his wife in an understanding way. Some of us guys don’t need to talk much. Some of us don’t share feelings. Some of us don’t explore the how comes of life. Give us ESPN, a bag of chips, the remote and we are set for hours. Our wives don’t operate in that hemisphere. They need assurance, connection, love and attention. They like to talk about things and stuff and future and how comes. Have you noticed that guys have one wallet—year round, any outfit, any time. Women have purses (in the plural). They have winter purses and spring purses. They have purses to go with blue jeans and different purses to go with dresses. Understand guys. But Peter wasn’t talking about remotes or purses, those things were not a part of that world. He is talking about spiritual things. Prayer. Connection to one another and God. Devotion. Dedication. Just as guys function differently than women do in outfits, or how to end the day, so do guys function differently than women do spiritually. The role of husbands is to help the wives get to Heaven. That’s what “headship” is about—leadership.

  We want the shepherds of the church to know us and to figure us out and to help us grow spiritually—yet the same must happen in the home by the husband. He needs to know and understand his wife. Her needs spiritually are not the same as his needs. She needs to grow and he needs to help her.

  I’ve seen far too many homes where the wife is hitting on all cylinders spiritually, but the husband is a no-show. He doesn’t come. He doesn’t care. He’s at work. He’s tired. He’s stressed. He’s everything, but leading the family spiritually. And what he is not doing is living with his wife in an understanding way. The reason is, he doesn’t understand at all. He doesn’t understand the need to attend with the saints. He doesn’t understand the need for forgiveness. He just doesn’t understand. Such a home lacks and is not as God wants it to be.

  Husbands, have you asked your wife how she is doing spiritually? Other than the meal, have you prayed with her? Have you opened your Bible and read together? I know a couple that takes turn reading these Jump Starts to each other. Then they talk about it with each other. How refreshing! How encouraging! How understanding! Have you asked your wife if she would like to go to a gospel meeting sometime? Through the years do you think she is getting more spiritual or less? I fear that these thoughts don’t cross our minds much. As long as the retirement grows, the kids are doing well, we feel that we’ve done our part. Yet she might be dying on the inside. She might be hungering and thirsting for righteousness and we are clueless to those things.

  Men, take a moment this very day, and pray for your mate. Pray for her soul. Drop the bucket deep into the well and give this some thought.

  Tomorrow, we look at Peter’s other thought from this passage.

Roger