Jump Start # 2576

1 Corinthians 13:4 “Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant.”

I heard a report recently that was very disturbing and sad. More children have gone to the hospital recently because of abuse than because of the Coronavirus. With everyone at home, the walls of the house seem to be closing in. Parents, rather than being at work, are around the kids all day. The children are not in school. We can’t send them to Bible class. They are around us, on top of us, all the time. And, what I’m sensing is that parents are needing a break from their own kids.

This brings us to our verse today. It is found in a setting in which brethren weren’t getting along with each other. The wonderful blessing of spiritual gifts have led to strife, jealousy and pulling apart, rather than coming together. So, in the midst of three chapters addressing spiritual gifts, Paul reminds us of Biblical love. This is not a feeling or an emotion. This is a choice. This is an attitude. This is not based upon how the other person is behaving. This is not reactionary. Love, he begins, is patient and then, love is kind.

We need patience among brethren, and we need patience in the home. Let’s look at the home. Little ones can ask a thousand questions a minute. They don’t even wait for an answer before they are firing off the next series of questions. Patience is something that most little ones do not have. In their world, five minutes is forty hours. And, when they run out of patience, they let everyone everywhere know it. And, my bootstrap psychology leads me to think that this is where a lot of abuse takes place. Parents run out of patience with little ones who have no patience. We get frustrated. We get tired of being interrupted. We’d like a moment alone.

And, when we’ve run out patience, we too often say and do things that are not the best. We plop a child in front of the TV for hours on end, letting the TV parent and mold our child. We shout and scream and somehow try to reason with a child, forgetting that reason isn’t high on a child’s list of virtues. And, in extreme cases, we hit, smack and abuse the child. We lose control.

It’s easy to place the blame on the children. But, they are children. They are going think like a child, reason as a child and do childish things. They know how to push buttons, both on everything electronic and on you personally. They have an attention span that lasts about as long as a commercial on TV. The time and trouble it takes for you to get out a game and set it up, by then they are bored and ready to move on to something else.

The real issue here, as we look into this concept of love, is how do we get patience. You pray for patience. The Lord doesn’t sprinkle it upon you while you sleep, like pixie dust. You develop patience by going through stressful and trying times. So, when you pray for patience, you may find the answer is a tough day ahead of you.

Now, it’s been a while since I had kids in the home. All of my children are in their 30’s and they all have their children now. I never went through a situation like we are having now. None of us have. But let me share some suggestions that I hope will help:

First, live one day at a time. Some days will be better than others. Some days you will be more patient than others. Some days the kids will obey, behave and get along together better than other days. Just focus upon today. I think it would be helpful to contact other young parents in the congregation. Share ideas. Help each other with suggestions and things to do.

Second, keeping up with a schedule gives everyone a sense of structure, order and peace. So, write out a schedule for the week. Put in some activities, school work, Bible classes time, cleaning, and even quiet time. Having that all planned out, and even posted where they can see it will keep everyone focused. During quiet time, have them look at books, color, take a nap. We used to have moments at home when we told the kids we were being Amish for a while. If it turned on, plugged in, or used batteries, they couldn’t use it. They had to use their indignations. They had to read. They had to be quiet. It’s during these quiet times that mom needs to lay down, get some coffee, or just rest her mind for a few moments. This gives you some breaks and a time to chill out.

Third, as the weather gets nicer, take the kids outdoors. Go exploring in your backyard. Look at leaves, bugs, rocks and things like that. Great teaching time. Great time to have them find things. At night, go out and look at the stars and the moon. Talk about the universe God made. You’ll find yourself merging education, exploration, imagination and Bible lessons all together and all at the same time.

Fourth, it’s ok to let the kids have some TV time or video game time. Set time limits. Allow the little ones to take turns picking out a family movie to watch each night. And, yes, you’ll probably watch Frozen 2 a dozen times, but that’s ok. Put a blanket on the floor, get some popcorn, build a tent, make it an adventure.

Fifth, have the little ones make some projects. Have them draw pictures and mail them to special people or even their friends in the congregation. Use your time at home to teach them how to cook, how to sew, how to play an instrument. So many wonderful ideas that you can spend your day doing.

Finally, pray. Pray for strength. Pray that you will be the parent that God wants. Someday we will be back to normal. Back to work and back to school. This will all be a fading memory. But for the little ones, they may always remember that one Spring when everyone was together at home every day. God has blessed you with these sweet children. God has granted you the honor of raising them. You won’t have them long. Use this time for their benefit.

Love is patient…love is kind. Just remember that!

Roger

Jump Start # 2420

1 Corinthians 13:4 “Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant.”

I had a birthday last week. It wasn’t one of those milestone ones, but I am creeping closer and closer to the next milestone. All around me, folks my age are retiring. That question is now being asked of me, “How much longer?” I don’t know if that is a reflection of my age or my preaching. I have long shot past the tag of being a “young preacher.” I see many young fireballs who are now preaching. They are good, smart and connecting well with audiences. They are so talented and are finding great ways to reach out to others, especially through videos. Get a few of them together and off they go talking about things I do not understand, books I have never heard of, and wonderful insights into God’s word. What I see in these young preachers is an amazing network that I never had when I was their age. They seem to be connected together and they use each other for ideas and help. When I started preaching, we wrote letters. Mailed them. Then waited and waited for a person to write us back. Most of us were dirt poor, and long distance phone calls was a big deal. I love to see the connections, the interactions and the network of friendships among them.

And, all of this takes us to one of those love expressions in our passage today. Love is not jealous. Jealousy can ruin a good thing. It can make one bitter, sour and just a pain to be around. Some of us as we age we get grumpy. Things are not the same and they are not going to go back that way. They never do. We shop differently today. We bank differently today. We have so many tools that make learning easier, faster and better than ever before. And, among us older preachers, if not careful, we can join the grumpy crowd and complain about all these young preachers. We need to be the ones who are encouraging them, helping them, and getting out of their way so those young talents can soar to the heavens. Our old stories and our old ways sometimes are just that, old. Many do not understand them and telling them over and over leaves the impression that we want to return back to them.

Jealousy can kill any relationship. Put it in a marriage and the fur will fly with accusations, and unkind words. Put it in the midst of siblings, like Joseph’s family, and people will quit talking to each other. Put it in a congregation, and the back biting, gossip and evil suspicions will drive people away. And, sprinkle a little jealousy among preachers and one will find fault where there isn’t any.

Jealousy has led to murder. Jealousy has killed marriages. Jealousy has ruined churches. And, jealousy can keep our souls from Heaven. A person can be jealous of just about anything. Some have better looks. Some have more talent. Some have more money. Some live in bigger homes. Some went to better colleges. Some have better jobs. Jealous is always about someone having something better than I do. And, rather than rejoicing for them, it burns our biscuits. We feel compelled to complain about it. We must tell others about it. We can’t sleep because we are so obsessed with it. We think badly towards the other person. We become bitter, angry and miserable. Jealousy is a terrible place to be in.

So, how does one not be jealous.

First, understand that God has made each of us uniquely individual. Like fingerprints, each of us have different talents, opportunities, and influences in our lives. No two of us are the same, even from the same family. God doesn’t make junk, we do. You are amazing and can do things that others cannot. You have been placed here by God in this generation for His purpose. You can make such a difference and do so much good. My dearest friends are preachers. I love listening to them preach. They can bring such great lessons from even a very simple passage. There was a time in my life when I listened to them and I felt like giving up. Why try? I could never preach like they do. They were hitting home runs and I was still hitting foul balls. I could look at the same verse they did and never see what they saw. But I stayed with it. I found what I was good at. I worked at. I worked hard. I realized that I don’t have to be like them. We are not in a contest. It doesn’t matter who is the best, and that very thought is crushed if we truly are humble. I found what I could do. I found a way that touched lives. I found that I can do what God wants. That took my eyes off trying to be like my friends and simply tried to be the best me that I could be. Some people are gifted just differently than we are. No matter how hard you try, some will never look like others. Some are wired differently than others. Some are quiet by nature. There is nothing wrong with that. But to trying to change that usually backfires and something horrible happens. In baseball, some can hit homeruns more than others. What are the “others” to do? Quit? Complain? Or, be thankful that you have those guys on your team. Part of jealousy is looking too much at the other person. We feel inferior. What helps is realizing that you have talents and you can do things in a special way. Be you and be the best you that you can.

Second, rather than being jealous of others, learn from them. This is why I like being around young preachers. They help me. I listen to them. I find out what they are reading. My way of doing things isn’t always the best, most efficient or even up to date. When this takes place instead of being jealous, you admire someone and you become a pupil and learn from them. The jealous heart will keep that from happening. Jealousy will want to destroy the other and not learn from them. Be thankful that people are in your life that you can imitate, learn from and be better. You don’t have to be like them, but you can see what they are doing and you can improve yourself.

Third, some of the things we are jealous of are vain and do not matter. A bigger house. A newer car. A designer watch. Why be upset over stuff? Why ruin your attitude, your spirit and drown in misery over stuff? Someone will always have the newest, fanciest, and best. Latest Iphone. Newest big screen TV. Robot lawnmower. It’s great that some can have those things, but don’t trash them because they do and you don’t. In the end, it’s just stuff. Stuff that wears out, needs replacing and always needs to be updated. There are many things much more important than all this stuff. Relationships. Friendships. Love. Encouragement. Let’s not forget about those poor, poor disciples in the first century. Many were slaves and servants. But we look to their faith, their convictions and here it is with all of our stuff, and we realize that we need to be more like them. Keep the right perspective. Keep stuff in it’s place.

Fourth, as a child of God you have the greatest gift and blessings of all, forgiveness and a relationship with the Lord. There is no price tag on that. There is nothing that can take that away from you, except you. Jesus became poor that we might become rich. It’s not about 401s, real estate and exotic vacations. It’s about faith, conviction and hope in Christ. We are a people that are headed to Heaven. We are Heaven Bound! Every waking moment of this day, you can talk to God. Anywhere you are, you can talk to God. You can’t do that with the President. You can’t do that with the CEO. You can’t even do that with your family. But God’s there. He’s with you, He’s for you, and He loves you. What have I to be jealous of? What more could I want? We are citizens of Heaven.

Love is not jealous. Paul wrote this to a church that was jealous about spiritual gifts. Paul’s words fit even today. Love and jealousy cannot exist in the same heart. One will drive out the other. So, which will I allow in my heart? Love or jealousy? One is of God (love), and one is of Satan (Jealousy). Both are knocking on the door of your heart, but only one can come in. Your choice. Which will it be?

Roger

Jump Start # 2350

1 Corinthians 13:4 “Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant”

His name is Leo. A lot of folks do not like him, but I sure do. Leo is a dog that belongs to one of my sons. He’s red and resembles a large fox. And, Leo is loud. He can be real loud. He can be annoyingly loud. He’s one of two dogs that my son has. Many gladly will dog sit or keep the other one, but no one wants Leo. Some have even said that he’s Satan’s dog. But I like Leo. We get along just fine. We were babysitting the other day which included dog sitting. Within a few seconds, Leo was barking happily and laying of the floor so I could scratch him. His tail was going back and forth. He was certainly a happy dog.

That got me to thinking about people. There are times when I wish people were like dogs. Give the dog some food, scratch his head a little, and he’ll be your friend, even after you hollered at him to be quiet. People aren’t like that. Some dogs are not like that either. Some are just mean. Some remember and can’t seem to move past things. Some would rather sit alone than to apologize or forgive someone else. That’s mostly true of people, not dogs.

The second definition that Paul attaches to love is the word kindness. Love is kind. Kindness is something that begins on our insides and it works its way out to doing good things. Kind words. Kind heart. Kind actions. Love is kind. Love sees good and love remembers good.

I’ve noticed that some folks are just kind all the way to their core. They are kind in their words. They are kind in what they do. They are always looking for ways to help others. But then there are those who just seem to be so mean. They are just the opposite of kind. They love causing trouble. They do not seem to be bothered that others get bothered.

It’s easy to think that some just come one way or the other. Some are just born kind and others are just mean from the start. I don’t think that’s it at all. I think a person who grows up around kind people tends to lean that way. And, those who grow up around bullies, selfishness and meanness, tend to be that way. But, there’s more. As a person grows, they have within them the power to change. That change comes from seeing what is right and what is good.

The influence of Jesus Christ turns a selfish person into a servant. It can smooth even the roughest edges off of a heart. It can turn the eyes off of self and on to others. Jesus makes all the difference. The kindest people are those who are standing nearest to Jesus. It shows. Generous. Thoughtful. Helpful. Serving. Sacrificing. Giving of time, heart and energy. Why are they like that? Because Jesus is. You can’t stand next to Jesus and not be changed.

Now, what is troublesome is to run into Christians who know the book but they really do not know the Lord. They are ready to throw the book at others when they make mistakes, forgetting how Jesus treated the woman caught in adultery. Some would love to lock the doors and keep certain ones out, forgetting that Jesus invited Himself to the home of Zacchaeus, as well as, included Matthew to be among the chosen ones. Tax collectors, the both of them, and there is Jesus right with them. We can know the doctrine but not the heart of God. We can know the rules, but not the spirit behind the rules. We can easily turn the church into a “us” verse “them” concept. We are in, but they are out. The Pharisee who prayed in the Temple was like that. He was glad he wasn’t like the publican, and he was quick to brag about how good he was, but he failed to realize that he was standing in the temple, talking to the God of Heaven and Earth.

It’s not in the Bible, but can you imagine instead of that arrogant Pharisee praying, it had been Jesus. Wonder what Jesus would have done had He looked over there and saw that publican praying? Wonder if the Lord would have waited until the prayer was finished and then went over there and talked with him? Wonder if the Lord would have invited the publican to get a bite to eat with Him? Wonder if the Lord would have thanked him for praying? We can see Jesus doing all of those things. Why? Because that’s what kind people do. And, Jesus was kind.

Kind people do not read the riot act to others. Kind people put down the radar gun. Kind people build up. They compliment. They find the right way to say the right words. They give hope. They do not destroy the other guy, even if he made a mistake. They are not looking the other way, but they realize that they have made mistakes and have been forgiven by God. They are willing to help others find the forgiveness of God. There has been far too many young preachers that were nearly destroyed by folks who lacked kindness. They butchered these young guys because they made a mistake or weren’t doing what they thought they ought to be doing. And, many of these young guys quit preaching. It broke their hearts. Chewed up and spit out and expected to get back up in the pulpit the next week and face a crowd of tormentors again.

There are certain things that we just ought to expect in life. When I fly, I expect the pilot to know what he’s doing. I don’t know what all those buttons and switches do, but I expect that he ought to know. I expect my doctor to have a pretty good idea of what’s going on inside of me when he looks at all the tests and blood work from me. I may not know whether those numbers are high or low, but I’m expecting that he knows. When a person walks through the front door of their home, he expects love, appreciation and joy. Our homes ought to be an oasis, not a battlefield. It ought to be good to be home. And, in this list of what we ought to expect, should be, kindness from brethren. We ought to be kind because we ought to be standing close to Jesus. Kind words. Kindness expressed in forgiveness and apologies. Kindness illustrated through grace, hope and joy. We ought to love to come to worship because we get to be around kind people who love us. It’s not always that way at work or in the neighborhood. But in the church building, we are more than brethren, we are family and we are friends. We like one another. We are kind to one another.

Love is kind. When kindness is missing, so is love. You can’t have love without kindness. Love is kindness. No kindness, no love. That’s the problem. Some folks just don’t love.

Leo the dog is a good reminder. Speak nice to him, pat him on the back, and you’ll have a buddy. He’ll wag his tail, even though you are not the one who feeds him and owns him. He doesn’t care. He simply recognizes kindness.

I guess that’s why I like Leo. I’m a lot like that. I like being around kind people. Scratch me on the head, give me a little food, and I’ll be your buddy for life. I might be a little loud like Leo, but give us a chance and we’re both pretty easy to get along with.

Remember, money will buy a fine dog, but only love will make him wag his tail. There’s a lot of truth to that. Love is kind.

Roger

Jump Start # 2294

1 Corinthians 13:4 “Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant”

Our verse today launches us into the love section of 1 Corinthians. These words define, describe and illustrate the choice of love that not only does God have towards us but that we ought to have towards one another. Often the setting of these verses is missed and in that, the meaning becomes fuzzy. Give some thought to these words:

First, these words are placed among several chapters about spiritual gifts. The brethren had a question about spiritual gifts and it appears that they were seen as a mark of superiority. Some had gifts and others did not. And, among those who had the spiritual gifts, tongue speaking seemed to be the one prized the most by the Corinthians.

Keeping this in the forefront is important. Although we use this section on love often in weddings, that wasn’t the purpose here. Paul wasn’t writing about spiritual gifts and in the midst of this remembered that he had a weekend wedding coming up and so he scribbled down some sweet words about love and then returned to his main thoughts about spiritual gifts. Not at all. This section on love has everything to do with the spiritual gifts. Paul is using this to suppress the evil thoughts, suspicions, jealousy and talk concerning who had what gifts. If these brethren truly cared about one another, they would accept that God has given the gifts the way He wanted to and help one another rather than point fingers and get ugly, as they were beginning to do.

Second, these words are actions that are directed toward others. Love is not a feeling. Love does something. Love is patience. It’s allowing a person to grow. It’s allowing a person to apologize. It’s allowing a person to learn. Patience is more than waiting, it’s not coming unglued while you wait. There are many times in life that one has to wait. Construction traffic comes to my mind. Waiting in airports. Waiting on people to show up. Waiting in emergency rooms. We wait because there isn’t many other options, other than go home. But merely waiting isn’t the same thing as patience. Patience is what goes on within a person. It takes place on the inside, while we are waiting on the outside. Many wait, but in the process they huff and puff and get worked up, bothered and when it is finally their time, they let others know all about it. That’s not patience, that’s waiting.

Here, love is patient. While some had special gifts and others didn’t, that understanding took some patience. It’s like watching a little one putting on his snow boots. He tugs and grunts and doesn’t want any help. He has to do it himself. When he finally gets them on and stands up, he realizes that he has them on the wrong feet. So, here we go again. Patience. We just smile.

Love is kind. This follow patience spiritually. It’s nearly impossible to be patient and then be unkind. The unkind folks aren’t patient. While patience is on the inside, kindness is on the outside. Kind words. Kind actions. You can see kindness in the expression of someone’s face. Some folks just light up with a big smile when your eyes connect. They are kind. Kind people are a blessing. They spread kindness by doing good deeds.

Next follows a series of three negatives. Love is not jealous, is not bragging and is not arrogant. While love is, love is also not some things. These three negatives were some of the reasons the Corinthians had problems with spiritual gifts. Jealousy leads to bragging. Bragging stands upon the shoulders of arrogance. I’m better than you are, doesn’t help a person out. It certainly isn’t kind. And, it makes others try to out do you. Before long, our spirits are entangled in an ugly mess of which one of us is better than the other. Love doesn’t go there. Kindness won’t allow that. Those are the seeds of division, hatred and name calling.

Third, these words and the ones that followed, were God’s solution to the division about spiritual gifts. Today, we’d sit everyone down and if possible, we’d let everyone have a turn and let everyone pick which gift that they wanted. That’s not how things happened. God granted the gifts as He decided. Getting along back then over gifts isn’t much different than getting along today over someone sitting in my seat. We can be a bit touchy and sensitive about things. We can read things between the lines that are not there, but we think they are. We can assume hidden agendas, false motives and feel that everyone is out to get us. Truth be known, most don’t even think about us. We think of ourselves much more and much greater than others ever do.

Patience with one another remains a virtue that is necessary to get along with one another. Without this, tempers flare and words are spoken that never should. Kindness is needed today. Kindness can smooth over hurt feelings and fill the gaps that sometimes comes from our bumping into each other.

Love is. Great words. Great reminders. Greatly needed. And, these are within your grasp. These are choices that you can make. You can be patient or you can be impatient. You can be kind or you can be unkind. For us, it starts as we leave the house. It finds application at work. It’s all about how we chart the course of this day. Patient and kind, or selfish and indifferent. God’s way or our way?

Love is.

Roger

Jump Start # 2037

1 Corinthians 13:4 “Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant.”

It’s Valentine’s Day—the day for hearts, candy and love. The love chapter of the Bible is 1 Corinthians 13. This section is read often in weddings and used to build relationships. In the proper setting, this is not about romance, husbands and wives or marriage. It’s placed within the context of jealousy, and division over spiritual gifts. As Paul teaches about the value and importance of spiritual gifts and even gives some practical guidelines about how to use these special gifts, he places this section about love in the midst. The love section sets the tone for the proper attitude and respect that they ought to have for one another.

Now, consider a few things about love.

First, the use of the word “charity” or “love,” is not a feeling, but a choice. It’s not about liking you but rather choosing to do what is right for you. The liking part comes later. Our culture is feeling based. We view love as what it does to us, not what we choose to do for another. This trickles over into a feeling based worship and faith being the same as feelings. They are not. One says, “I don’t get anything out of worship,” that that’s all that is needed for him to either quit or introduce radical changes that will stimulate feelings. The “God so loved the world,” passage isn’t feeling based but a choice. We are not cute puppies that are jumping up and down hoping that God will stop by and pick us up and take us home. We are not so adorable. We are sinners that have disappointed God, rebelled against His word and broken His heart. Without His mercy, He would have cast us all to where we belong. We are broken, dirty, confused and lost. We are a mess. We become decent, righteous, good when we follow Jesus.

To the pages of Corinthians, getting along with one another in a congregation is a choice. We can avoid people. We can talk negatively about others. We can exclude others. We can be uppity towards others. All of that leads to ill feelings, division and a real mess. Or, as Paul is guiding these folks, we can choose to be kind. We can choose to be patient. We can choose to be humble. We can choose to think the best. It’s a matter of a choice, our choice. We can get along.

Second, the nature of God is love. John wrote that “God is love.” The very characteristics that Paul defines with love, are the very characteristics of God. God is kind. God is patient. God is not arrogant. God seeks the best. So, building love within our hearts, molds us into the image of God. God isn’t prejudice. The world is. God doesn’t hate. The world does. God doesn’t play favorites. The world does.

Developing the Biblical qualities of love, not only shapes us into the image of God, but it pulls us farther from the world. We become less and less like the culture surrounding us. We see things that the world misses. We focus upon what the world ignores. We see value in things the world never notices. We give second chances, just like God does. The world won’t. We forgive, as God does. The world can’t. We believe in others, like God does. The world walks away from such.

If love is a choice, then we can choose to be more and more like God. It doesn’t happen naturally. It means making choices that are opposite of the culture we live in. We learn this love, not by watching TV, but by spending time with Jesus in the Gospels.

Third, Jesus demonstrated this love and lived this love. Jesus and the Samaritan woman. Jesus with the adulterous woman. Jesus with Nicodemus. Jesus with Martha. Jesus with Peter. Jesus in the boat with the disciples in the midst of a storm. Jesus going with Jairus to rescue his dying daughter. Jesus at the tomb of Lazarus. Layers and layers of lessons built upon and demonstrating Biblical love. Jesus cared. Jesus went. Love, as shown by Jesus, is action. It’s doing things for others. It’s being there. It’s making things right. It’s not hearts drawn on a piece of paper, it’s telling someone who is wrong what they need to do to be right. It’s not tolerance of wrong. It’s not looking the other way. It’s kindly showing the way of God. It’s standing where God stands. Love moves a person to do something.

This love is the gel that holds a congregation together and allows them to work together. This love is what accepts prodigals back home. This love motivates us to care for one another. This love drives us to be our best and to demand excellence from our selves. And, when this love is missing, things become lifeless, tense, demanding and hard. It’s hard to get the nerve up to attend services, when you worship with a group that doesn’t love. The preaching reflects that spirit. Everyone is wrong. Everything is wrong. A dark cloud prevails over the worship when love is missing. Things are said that shouldn’t be said. There is a spirit that is mean and condemning. Folks get into the judgmental mode. Finger pointing, talking about others and gloom and doom seem to prevail when love is missing.

Among the problems with the Corinthian church, and there were several, was a lack of love for one another. The problems that they had, would not have been as major nor as intense if they had love for one another.

Biblical love is not only the highest form of love, but it is also the hardest to manifest. It’s not easy to love the unloveable. It’s not easy to love one when they are not at their best. But it’s a choice we make, because God first loved us.

Many of us would do better if we put the radar guns down and held up mirrors to see how we are doing. We are more worried about others than we are ourselves. The spirit of love would help us to see that we not only need each other, but that we are all in this together. The enemy is not us, but the world that is trying to defeat us, and change us.

Love one another—simple words, but a tough command. It can be done and God expects us to do that.

Roger