Jump Start # 3539

Matthew 19:5 “and said, ’For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh.’”

In the morning I go to preform a wedding ceremony for an incredible young couple. They love each other and they love the Lord. It is so special when two strong believers, coming from a heritage of believers, join their lives together.

Like two rivers coming together, the joining of two lives in marriage is a special and also unique chapter for a young couple. The leaving of father and mother and mom and dad allowing that child to have his own space and leave is an adjustment for everyone involved. Next to finances, one of the greatest challenges for Christians who get married is the forming of an independent home. Sometimes the in-laws and the out-laws get too wrapped up in things that they shouldn’t and that creates more tension than what should be there.

The leaving is more than location. It’s more than a maturity factor. It means that your married child may do things differently than you do, and establish different traditions that you have and may not come running every time the family gets together. And, when parents start dropping lines such as, “Well, we always get together for birthdays,” or, “Going camping is something we always do around the 4th.” Understand, that may be what YOU do, but for that married couple, they are forming their own ways and it may not include some of those timeless family traditions. Give them space. Understand. Or, you can guilt them to come and you have just poured the first layer of resentment and stress in their lives. Don’t make your grown son choose between his parents and his wife. He needs to side with his wife, because that’s where his commitment and heart is.

My kids are married. We’ve gone through the adjustments of different holiday traditions, understanding that the in-laws need to see them as much as we want to see them. Your married children will decorate their homes differently than what you would. They may have more pets that you would. They may sleep in later than you think is necessary. All of this, falls under that umbrella of leaving father and mother. Unless they are doing something that can keep them out of Heaven, it’s best not to express your opinion unless it is asked for. Just don’t say it, will keep the sparks from flying.

Here are some thoughts about the marriage between two Christians:

First, it is wonderful to see that there are those who still believe in God’s way of doing things. No living together first, then years later, get married. Get the order in order. First comes love, then comes marriage and then comes the baby in the baby carriage, as the ole’ tune suggested.

For a culture that has given up on God, it’s great to see young couples who still honor the Lord by doing things His way. It is refreshing. It is special. Everything about it seems right.

Second, when a young Christian couple gets married, especially when they have been busy serving in the kingdom, teaching, helping and doing all they can, it just makes one know that good things will continue. Together, they will teach. Together, they will have hospitality in their home. Together, they will help the kingdom. Decades later, it is this type of couple that will touch so many lives for good. It is in this type of couple that leaders of God’s church are drawn from. Busy from the start and doing all that they can, what an asset they are to each other and to the Lord. Together they will help each other get to Heaven.

Third, when a young Christian couple marries it’s the result of years of molding, shaping and teaching by their parents. Going to worship since they were just months old, hearing so many sermons and sitting through so many Bible classes, though young in age, they are mature in faith. And, this incredible foundation will help them navigate safely through the choices and options that life presents to them. The immature and the unspiritual will continually make poor decisions. But the wise have listened to the counsel of God and others. All those devotions at home. All those talks that parents have had. All those prayers prayed. And, now, mom and dad are seeing that it was all worth it. A good man is marrying a good woman. Together, they become a virtuous couple. Strong in faith, and committed to each other, what a blessing they are. They will be examples for others. Some will point to this relationship and long for that in their own life. Mothers will say to their daughters, ‘you need to be like this young Christian woman.’ Dads will say to their sons, ‘Do you see all the good that this young man is doing?’

When the Holy Spirit wanted to illustrate the powerful relationship between Jesus and the church, He chose marriage as the perfect example. He didn’t use a coach and a team. He didn’t use a partnership in business. He didn’t use a couple of life long friends. No. The Holy Spirit chose a husband and a wife for the illustration. One wonders if there was a Christian couple that the Holy Spirit had in mind.

What a joy the morning will bring. What happiness for this special couple. Love, trust, and Lord—one just can’t beat that combination. Great things will happen with those three ingredients get stirred together in the heart.

Early congrats to Isaiah and Chloe. We wish you the best. This is just the beginning for the rest of your lives.

Roger