Jump Start # 3421

1 Timothy 3:11 “Women must likewise be dignified, not malicious gossips, but temperate, faithful in all things.”

Recently in our Jump Starts I ran a couple of articles about a series of sermons I called, “Ten Things.” We posted “Ten things older Christians need to tell younger Christians.” That was followed by, “Ten things that can help your marriage.” I listed several other titles that I preached in that series. One of them was about gossip, “Ten things to remember about gossip.” One of our readers encouraged me to include that one in our Jump Starts.

Gossip is so easy to do and it can be so hurtful. Gossip can be disguised as merely “catching up on the news around here.” And, have you noticed that generally, if not always, gossip is negative. In gossip, one isn’t complimenting, commending, or bragging about someone else. Maybe if we did that more, things would improve. No, instead, gossip is about the negative, the dirt, the wrongs, the failures of others. There is office gossip. There is church gossip. There is neighborhood gossip. There is gossip in the family.

And, if gossip wasn’t bad enough, our verse magnifies it with the expression, “Malicious gossip.” Other translations state this as:

KJV/ESV: slanderers

NIV: malicious talkers

This verse is found among the qualities of the leaders in the congregation. Bishops and deacons—servants of God and helpers of God’s people. And, placed among those godly leaders, are words about the qualities of women. Faithful. Dignified. Not hurtful gossips. Leaders know things. Leaders are often involved in helping messy lives. Leaders must be careful with what they share. The women connected to these leaders are often the sounding boards that also hear and know of things going on within the congregation. They may know about a marriage coming apart before others do. They may know of trouble in the home before others do. They may know of addictions, arrests, and pain before others do. With this information, one must be careful. A gossip will tell things that should not be told. A gossip will inflict more pain and trouble.

Now, here’s the list, Ten Things to Remember about Gossip:

1. Not all things said are true
2. Words can hurt
3. Gossip comes from a heart that likes to think the worst rather than the best
4. Gossip lives or dies by the choices we make
5. Gossip puts us in an awful group
6. Gossip is wrong
7. Thumper was right, “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say nothin’ at all.”
8. As our faith grows, our gossipy ways ought to stop
9. We will be judged for what we say
10. God expects you to build up and encourage one another, not tear them down and destroy them.

The ole’ saying about sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never harm you, we’ve found through the years not to be true. Long after those bones have healed, we remember those hurtful words. Decades later, we can still remember those words. And, that’s the danger of gossip. In the heat of the moment, words can be said and shared, and decades later, someone will still remember them.

The gossip is arrogant. He thinks he is better than the person he is talking about. He enjoys putting people down, while never looking in the mirror to see where he stands with God. His cold and heartless attitude violates the golden rule. He becomes furious if someone were to gossip about him. And, for those who have ears that are eager to listen to gossip, you must realize that when you are not around the gossip, he is likely  saying things about you. That’s the nature of a gossip.

Gossip spreads from gossip to gossip. Rumors start. Suspicion rises. Reputations are hurt. Feelings are crushed. People leave the congregation. Family members refuse to talk to each other. And, the recovery from gossip is long and hard. Apologies often do not seem enough. The word is out. Things were said that should never have been said. Trust is shattered. And a flood of damage cannot be stopped.

What can be done? Don’t gossip. Don’t be the one saying things and don’t be the one listening to such things. And, when someone says, “I probably shouldn’t say this,” stop them. Say, “Then don’t say it.”

Can you imagine what God could do if He was a gossip? He knows everything about all of us. He knows our thoughts. He has heard every word out of our mouths. He has seen us all the time. There are no secrets we hide from God. Oh, the damage God could cause if He was a gossip. But He is not. And, if He is not, why are we?

Let’s speak kindly about one another.

Roger