Jump Start # 232

Proverbs 15:1 “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

  The theme of the tongue is a popular one throughout the book of Proverbs. Most often, how to say things, or as our passage today address, how to respond to someone is as important as what you say. Again, we find a contrast, this time it’s a dual contrast. We have “a gentle answer” contrasted to “a harsh word” and then there is a contrast in results, “turns away wrath” and “stirs up anger.”

  This is a great passage. It would do well to see this stenciled on the wall in our homes, courthouses, and Capitol building. Aggression, anger and “in-your-face” mentality seems to prevail today. Some feel that unless you are that way, people will not notice you and they will walk over you. But that spirit has everyone on edge. People are afraid of discussing differences and confrontation for fear of getting their head chewed off. Political talk shows excel in this atmosphere. People must love it or else those shows would lose ratings and be canceled.

  Why are some “harsh” with their words? My first thought is that they are defensive. People do not like to be told that they are wrong. In Luke 4 when Jesus was teaching at his home town, the crowds were wanting to see miracles. The multitudes were filled with “rage” and they pushed Jesus out of town to a cliff and intended to throw Him off, but the Lord escaped. Road rage, short tempers, and harsh words all go together. It comes from a lack of patience and self control.

  Our passage doesn’t show the end of the story. The harsh words stirs up anger…then what? Angry words are said. Threats are made. Doors are slammed. Employees quit. Marriages split. Some punch—walls, or each other. The Devil is given an opportunity, as Paul told the Ephesians. All this from a harsh word.

  Many TV shows and movies dwell upon the “in-your-face” aggressive spirit. Much of today’s music is that way. Is it any wonder that so many young people seem angry. They are young, and what do they have to be some mad about? But they are.

  The negative side of this contrast isn’t good. It isn’t constructive and it leaves a path of destruction, but like a tornado does.

  This can be avoided. He shows us how. The gentle answer turns away wrath. It takes two to have an argument. It takes two to have a fight. The gentle answer does not imply you do not defend what you think is right, but it is dealing with the manner and tone that you do it in. Gentle as opposed to harsh. Volume doesn’t add strength to arguments. We forget that. We get louder and louder, forgetting that thunder never kills anyone, it’s the lightning that is dangerous. Calm in the midst of a storm, keeping your head when all around are losing theirs. This is hard. When someone is screaming and loud and harsh toward us, we tend to get loud and shout back. There is a Nigerian expression that says, “When two elephants fight, the grass suffers.” I like that. When two parents fight, the children suffer. When two team mates fight, the team suffers. When two brethren fight, the church suffers.

  Gentle—that was the way of Christ. Peter says when He was reviled, He did not utter threats back. He knew what was right. He knew what was being said was twisted, prejudiced and wrong. He knew. He also knew, getting into a shouting match would make Him lose credibility and hurt the good he was doing.

  In the great call of Jesus, He says, “Come unto me all ye that are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am GENTLE  and humble in heart, and you shall find rest for your souls” (Mt 11:28-29). Jesus is gentle. We need to learn from Him. He knows.

  Remember this today, gentle answer. Try it. There may be times you want to explode, but don’t. Gentle answer. There may be those who are “in-your-face” today. Gentle answer. State what you feel. Stand your ground. Defend your position. But do it with gentleness. It will save you a ton of heartache and headache as well. Your manner may calm down an angry person.

  Give it a try. This is what God wants. It will turn away wrath. We know it works, because God says so.

Roger