Jump Start # 1253

Matthew 5:16 “Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in Heaven.”

  Our passage today is about influence. We tend to make applications of this passage to talk about the times we are out in the world. The workplace, the classroom are the common thoughts we surround with these verses. Show that you are a Christian. Stand up, stand up for Jesus. Those are all good thoughts, however, one place that we sometimes forget to shine is at home. The holidays are upon us. The next couple of weekends will be packed with family, presents, food and activities. Going home for the holidays is great fun. There are songs that remind us of this. Songs such as, “I’ll be home for Christmas,” or, “Oh, there’s no place like home for the holidays.” However, for some, home for the holidays brings challenges and stress. Our grown brothers and sisters, cousins, uncles and even parents can push the limits with our patience and get away with things that we wouldn’t let others do. We can leave the family meal feeling beat up and run over.

Let me illustrate this for you. It’s dinner time for the N family. Gathered around the table is:

• Never pleased Dad. What ever you do, it’s never enough. He thinks you ought to have a better job, drive a better car, live in a better house and sometimes even be married to a better person. He’s never happy with you. You can do better. You feel like a major disappointment in his presence.
• Nagging Mom. Critical, complaining and negative. She continues to talk to you like you were ten years old. She doesn’t like the way you decorated you house, wear your hair or how you are raising your kids. She is constantly trying to change you to do things her way. Mom loves guilt and she loves to lay it on thick and heavy.
• Name calling Brothers. They have never grown up. They think ridicule is the best and only means of communication. They wear their welcome out very fast. Nothing ever changes with the name calling brothers.
• Nit picking Sister. She’s the drama queen in the family. Everything is blown out of proportion with her. She majors in making mountains out of mole hills. She won’t let things lie. She stirs and picks and creates problems where there are no problems. She’s bossy, jealous and critical of everything. She tries to be mom’s favorite. She is in the middle of every conversation. Silence is one word that she has never learned.
• Nutty Cousins: They are out there on the edge of reality and morality. One can’t make up his mind if he is gay or not. Each year he changes. The other has been married so many times that you can’t remember the names of his wives. He has a new girl friend who will get a diamond at Christmas and a promise that she is the one. He is always trying to introduce your kids to wine. He believes that he is an expert on global warming, what’s wrong with the country and Jesus. If there really was a Jesus, this guy is certain that he was married. Loud, opinionated and obnoxious, the nutty cousins always give everyone a headache.
• Neurotic grandpa. He’ll say anything at anytime. There is no filter on his mouth. He once went to church but quit long ago because no one went along with his strange opinions. He’s prejudiced, narrow minded and rude. He doesn’t like sports or politics nor anyone talking about them. Most of all, he thinks that he’s an authority on religion.

There you have it. Home for the holidays. What a mess. For some of you, this is all too true. You’ll think that I got a hold of the family photo album. You can put names to all these people above. These same elements can be found in many work places, neighborhoods and even congregations. What we are talking about is more than family, it’s about relationships. How do we get along with difficult people.

Three things to remember:

First, we are all different in our own way. What we do seems normal to us, but it may not be to others. We see strange behavior in others, but never in ourselves. We are all special and different.

Second, we tend to think that we are the only one with a weird family. Most of us have families like the Adam’s family more than the Walton’s. Look at some of the Bible families, such as, Jacob and Esau or David’s children, or Joseph and his brothers. A lot of dysfunction and issues going on there.

Third, God loves each and every one of us. It’s like a church sign that once displayed, “God loves you and we are trying our best.” So it is.

Well, here you are headed to the family for the holidays. You only hope that it won’t be a disaster like Christmas Vacation. You only hope someone doesn’t offend someone, get too nosey or says something that they shouldn’t. Often everyone is walking on ice. Just get through it and let’s get back home. The holiday family gatherings can be occasions to teach, influence and opportunities to share Jesus.

Here are some thoughts:

1. Let your light shine. Even among family members. When the gossip is being passed around with the mashed potatoes, try to turn the conversation to something positive. Speak well of the Lord, your congregation and what the Lord has done for you. The demon possessed man was told by Jesus to go to his people and report what great things the Lord has done for him (Mk 5:19). So among your people, do the same.

2. Prepare for the trip or the company coming in. Pray. Pray for right attitudes and right words. Pray for opportunities. Around the table with everyone there is not the time to engage in a study with someone. Too many opinions, too many people that will make it chaos. Instead, find a moment to talk to the person one on one. Invite them to services. Ask them if they would like to read some things. Find ways to connect and build bridges for the Lord.

3. Live for Christ. Realize that you can’t change grown adults. That includes us parents when we think about our children. The roles have changed. They are adults. You can’t “tell them,” any more like they were a teenager. They are not. They may choose to make dumb decisions. You can put in your two cents worth, but like most advice, it’s only good if someone heeds it. Let the beauty of Jesus be seen in me, is a thought that you need to keep before you.

Home for the holidays. I hope you get to make some rich and precious memories. Remember who you are. Remember Jesus. Sometimes there are many in the family that are really hurting on the insides. They have lived without Jesus and it’s caught up with them. Your words, your kindness, your faith may be the very thing that helps them out.

Home for the holidays… I hope these thoughts will help you.

Roger