Jump Start # 1097

Matthew 5:8 “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.”

  One of the greatest fears parents have while their children are dating is purity. Sexual purity seems to be a thing of the past with this constant unashamed exposure to nudity in our times. The music videos, the movies, the shows on TV, the commercials, the ads in magazines are a constant bombardment of indecent, immoral and impure images. Our kids grow up and are influenced by these things. Their friends see more of it and they influence our kids. More than 95% of dating couples engage in sexual intercourse before marriage. Nearly everyone! One of the current items selling on internet auction sites is positive pregnancy tests. Single women are buying these from others to “trap” their boyfriends and get them to make a commitment to marriage. There would be no “trapping” if there was no sex taking place before marriage. Parents need to wake up and see what is going on. They need to be frank in talking with their kids. This is serious and we must be serious about this.

Long ago, the Psalmist asked the question, “How can a young man keep his ways pure?” The answer, given in the text, “by the word of God.” That’s always the answer. Faith building, God trusting, being aware of the prowling Satan are essential to surviving.

Consider some thoughts:

• Understand how passion works. The attraction of a man and woman is natural. God wired us that way. The feelings between a man and a woman are like a roadway. They lead from one step to the next. Holding hands leads to kissing. Kissing leads to deep kissing. Deep kissing leads to touching. Touching leads to…well, you get the idea. That is natural and the way it is supposed to be. However, God has placed a “No Trespassing Sign” around some of that passion. It is saved for marriage. Marriage is the key that opens the gate for all passion. It’s right in marriage. It’s wrong when it’s not in marriage. Before marriage, it’s climbing over the “No Trespassing” fence. You are in an area that is off limits and you do not belong there. It’s wrong. The passion can be so strong that reason and judgment is tossed aside for the moment. Consequences are not considered. The joy of the moment is all that matters. Parents understand this. Kids don’t. They have trouble seeing these things.  Parents who are embarrassed to talk about these things will discover that their kids are not. They have heard, read, seen much more than parents realized.

• Keep up on what the kids are doing on tablets and computers. Internet behind closed doors is a danger zone. Porn is killing marriages. The porn problems didn’t start after marriage. It started long before. Marriage doesn’t stop the porn addiction. Again, this is a parenting issue. Leaving a loaded gun in the house around small kids is dumb. Leaving teenagers to surf the web without safeguards is dumb. Watching porn leads to climbing the ‘No Trespassing’ fences.

• This passion is set off very easily, especially in guys. God wired men to be visual. This is why more ads, commercials, websites, movie trailers show women immodestly dressed. It triggers the passion in men. I once had a red Grand Am. It was a cool car for me. I was at a stop light when a red Ferrari pulled up along side of me. It was the reddest car I had ever seen. Some young hot shot guy was driving. He looked at me and with a smirk on his face. That fried my bacon. I cranked up my radio and looked at him. He cranked up the Ferrari radio. It was so loud I couldn’t hear. I looked at him and revved my Grand Am. He looked at me and revved the Ferrari. My car shook. I looked at him and then looked at the light. He did the same thing. The light turned green and I never saw Mr. Ferrari again. Ferraris are made to run. Passion is like that. It doesn’t take much to get it going. Parents need to know this. Dads need to have the A-game on when it comes to their daughters. What they wear revs the engine in their dates. Sitting close. The way they smell. Showing too much skin. The body language. All that gets the engine going and it wants to run. There is a place for that, it’s marriage. Revving those engines leads to trouble. Naïve girls flirting too much do not understand this. Dads must step in and explain. Parenting. It’s not easy. Often times you as the parent must be the bad guy. You must veto things because you know what happens when young hormones get racing. This is why too much time alone is not good. Public places with others is good.

• It would help to have some serious Bible classes about purity in dating. Ask the shepherds of your congregation to conduct some classes. This is often best done by dividing the teen boys and girls in separate classes. Girls need to understand that they can be fashionable yet modest. Proms and other special occasions are not a pass to wear immodest clothing. Summer time is not a pass to be indecent. Vacations are not a pass to be indecent. Learning to be modest will not come from the stores. This comes from the Bible. It can be done. It is being done. Parents must lead the way when shopping. Churches have too long been so generic on this topic of passion, sex and modesty, that nothing is truly said. Too many are embarrassed to say anything, so they don’t. Then everyone is shocked to see the young people falling off the cart and messing up morally when nothing positive, helpful and instructional was ever taught. It’s not the church’s fault. This is an issue for the home. But the church can reinforce and help. Solid, powerful and plain teaching and preaching on these things need to be regular and often. Satan is not backing down. Satan is vulgar and rude in this area. The strongest man in the Bible, Samson, had problems with passion and sexuality. The smartest man in the Bible, Solomon, had problems with passion and sexuality. The man after God’s heart, David, had problems with passion and sexuality. Joseph, the most Christ like person in the O.T., had to deal with passion and sexuality. Paul’s words are FLEE. Flee youthful lusts. Flee fornication. How? When? Those are topics to discuss, talk about and understand.

• Parents need to keep up with what is going on. Dads need to talk to sons and moms to daughters. They need to know what to do. They need to be guided. Just letting them go out on a date with no instruction advice, wisdom, is asking for trouble. Dating people who have no problems climbing over God’s no trespassing fence is asking for trouble. Dating people who ridicule the concerns of parents is asking for trouble. Date the right people. But that alone is not enough. Guide them, parents. Talk to them, parents.

It’s not easy being a parent. This purity part is especially hard. There are books about this subject. Get them. Read them. Talk to other parents. Talk to the parents that your child is dating. Team up and work together to help them remain pure. Purity begins on the inside. It’s the mind not the body where all of this begins. Keeping the mind pure, helps keep the body pure. What you feed that mind. What you do with impure thoughts. How you keep from red-lining that engine inside of you. Those are the things that parents need to think about, talk about, pray about and discuss with their kids.

Let them know that you are trying to help them. You want them to win at life. You want them to please the Lord.

Create in me a clean heart is a prayer from Psalms and a prayer for today!

Roger