Jump Start # 3671

Job 2:9-10 Then his wife said to him, “Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die!” But he said to her, “You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?” In all this Job did not sin with his lips.

Our verse today illustrates the differences in faith and dealing with troubles that often exists within a marriage. Much too often, we assume that the husband and wife are at the same place spiritually. We assume that they go through life seeing the same things and being on the same page with about everything. And, what a major assumption and mistake that is.

It is easy to forget that Job’s wife also suffered. She was the one who bore those ten children that all died. It was her lifestyle that was dramatically turned upside down by raids, attacks and theft. And, now her husband’s health was failing. After this rebuke from Job, we don’t hear anymore about her until the last chapter when she again has another ten children. I’ve been asked if I think that she is the same wife as in the beginning? In our times, bearing twenty children is unheard of. There is nothing in the text to make me think that she walked away or that she died and Job remarried. Those assumptions cannot be proven Biblically.

The words of Job’s wife, “Curse God and die,” seems to indicate that Satan got to her. This is what Satan was wanting Job to do. It worked with Job’s wife. With worthless friends, dead children, and now your companion in life tosses in the towel, the picture given to us is that Job was all alone. Who could he talk to? Who would encourage him? Who would comfort him?

Now, some lessons we ought to see here:

First, a husband and a wife do not suffer nor grieve the same. This tends to be the way we are wired. Women, in general, like talking and sharing with other women. We guys keep things to ourselves. When with other men, we talk sports, politics and fun things to do. We don’t open up very often. Maybe we should. Maybe we need to. And, because of that, many men have only superficial friendships. There is nothing very deep, because we don’t go deep. We keep an image and a wall around us.

So, in comforting a family that has gone through some tragedy, remember that the man and the woman deal with those things differently. The man may say, “we are fine,” meaning, “I’m fine.” This is why shepherds, in helping a family through a crisis, needs to talk to both the man and the woman and they may need to talk to each of them separately.

Second, our verse reminds us that Job and his wife were not at the same place spiritually. Mrs. Job was done. She had enough. She was calling “surrender.” Her faith was not as strong as his faith. Interestingly, neither Job’s friends, nor God talk to Job’s wife. All the conversations focus upon Job.

So, this reminds us, that two people sitting beside each other on a pew Sunday morning, do not have the same faith. One may be bored and the mind wandering. The other may be engaged and connecting deeply with the passages and praise to the Lord.

Job’s reply to his wife is that she was speaking not as a believer. He said, you speak as a foolish woman. Foolish, as one who says there is no God. Foolish, as one who no longer believes that God is in control. Foolish, as one who thinks our problems are greater than God. Foolish, as one who thinks God cannot do something. Foolish, as one who happily accepts the blessings of God, but not the adversity from God.

Our verse ends with this tag, “In all of this Job did not sin with his lips.” I wonder if we are to assume that Job’s wife did sin with her lips.

Third, husbands and wives need to help each other in this journey of life. There are times when discouragement may get the best of one of us. The other is to be there to encourage, remind and help. Many, many of us preachers would have punched the lights out of some thoughtless brother, had it not been the words of our wives calming us down and reminding us of Jesus. That marriage vow of in sickness and health, richer or poorer, is more than just a definition of life’s journey, it is a plan and a pattern that we will be there for each other. Physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally, there is a need for encouragement, warnings, help, and support that helps each other through the moments we call life.

Job’s words to his wife are blunt. He was grieving, hurting and trying to figure things out. His words were a stern reminder to his wife that God has always been there for them. This was not the time to give up. This was not a Titanic moment.

Together, they should have prayed. Together, they should have gone to Scripture. Together, they should have cried and reminded each other that they still have each other. That’s the way they started, and that’s where they were at that moment. Not knowing if they would ever see blessings again. Not understanding why all of this happened and so quickly. More questions than absolutes, it is those moments that will pull a couple together or it will be the scissors that severs the marriage forever. I’ve seen it both ways.

Standing across the body of a sixteen year old, as a sheet was pulled over his head, parents on the other side sobbing, I told them, this will draw you closer or this will pull you apart. Within a few months, they divorced.

It is important for husbands and wives to understand that we are wired differently and to understand each other. What works for me may not work for my wife. Men need to shepherd their families and this begins by understanding them and what works.

Job and his wife…interesting study.

Roger