Jump Start # 1867

1 Thessalonians 4:13 “But we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve, as do the rest who have no hope.”

Our verse today carries a very narrow audience. It is written to Christians about the death of Christians. As Paul explains, the Lord will bring with Him those who have fallen asleep in Jesus. These were people who were “in Jesus.” These were Christians. This section ends with, “comfort one another with these words.”

One of the challenges in life is trying to find something to say to a person who is hurting or grieving. People feel compelled to say something profound at the funeral home. They think that what they say will bring sunshine back, remove dark clouds and will be remembered forever. Not so. Actually, by the time three more people pass through the line, the grieving family has forgotten what you have said. Your presence will be remembered more than your words.

There is a distinction found within our verse today. There are those who have hope and those who have no hope. Those with hope do not grieve the same as those without hope. Those with hope are the Christians. They are the believers. They are the ones who understand resurrections, second coming, Heaven and “this world is not my home.” It’s hard, but they understand that their loved one has merely moved to another room in God’s house. They know that the person lives. There is no “The End” to our story. Death is hard even for the family of a Christian, but it’s not despair.

There are those without hope. They don’t know what they believe. They have not had time for the Lord nor have they been serious about Him. Following God’s word has not been their choice. Worship didn’t happen much to them. They pretty much lived in this world and never gave much thought about the spiritual side of things. Death comes. The family is shaken and torn up. All kinds of wild ideas float around. No one knows for sure because they do not stand upon any real foundation. They do not even know enough about the Bible to know where to read. They believe that their loved one is in Heaven. There is no foundation for that belief other than they can’t bear to think of the alternative. Heaven is a distorted concept of whatever the person liked on earth. I’ve heard people bragging about having a beer in Heaven. But their hope is nothing more than wishful thinking. It’s holding on to a four-leaf clover.

The most difficult thing is trying to offer comfort to those who have no hope. They have ignored God all of their life and now, in death, they want to believe that God is so eager to have them that the gates of Heaven have swung wide open for their loved one. As a preacher, it’s hard to preach those kind of funerals. The family wants the preacher to walk their loved one right up to Heaven itself. He was such a good guy they all say, yet there was nothing spiritual ever going on. Honest and godly preachers know that false hope is really no hope.

Paul’s words in our passage does not address this situation. What do you say to a family when their loved one was not a Christian?

First, we are not the ones to determine the eternal destiny of any soul. That’s God’s business. We do not know everything. We do not know the heart of a person. So assigning someone to Heaven or Hell is up to God.

Second, some things are obvious. We know what the Bible teaches. A life lived ignoring God will not please God. This is not the steps to follow in life. This is not a life that will end well with God. Unless you believe that I am He, you will die in your sins, are the words of Jesus. There is no sugar coating that. There is no way to turn that into a happily ever after story.

Third, comfort the family by letting them know that you care and that you are sorry. Death is sad. Death is not God’s friend, but His enemy. Death came about because of man’s sin. God didn’t design death as part of His original plan. Those that do not know the Bible are often confused and some are angry with God. Standing in line at the funeral home is not the place to get into a Biblical discussion about life after death. Let them know that you are praying for them and that if they would like to get together in a couple of weeks to talk, you’ll be happy to do that. Give them some time to get through things.

Fourth, don’t go along with things that are not true. I’ve been asked, “Don’t you think that mom is up there dancing with St. Peter and all the angels?” I’d say something like, “that’d be a sight, but I don’t think that’s happening.” The world has turned Heaven into a fantasy island where people golf, walk their pets, shop, eat chocolate and you hear all these weird and unbiblical ideas coming out.

I say, “He’s in the hands of God and that’s the best place he came be. No one is more fair, just or merciful than God. God knows his whole story and God will do what’s right.” Quickly I usually add, “And you and I know that we best spend some time with God as well. Why don’t get back to church this week?” Those simple words, turn the conversation from where the dead is to where the living is. Nothing more can be done for the dead but we certainly can do things.

After more than three decades of doing funerals I see those who have hope and those who don’t. The sadness is different. Their words are different. They walk away from the grave differently. Believers have a confidence, hope and assurance. Those without hope or a false hope, seem lost, confused and unsure of what to do next.

It is sad when the departed is a Christian, but the rest of the family is not. I’ve seen that far too many times. Hope is with the one who has died. He spent a lifetime walking with the Lord. The rest of the family has done their own thing. And now for the first time in years, these grown kids hear the Bible read. They listen to prayers. You can see how uncomfortable they are. They want to get through this as fast as they can. The funeral home is packed with Christians and the family doesn’t feel any connections. And we know unless there are some serious changes, they will never see the departed again. It’s tragic.

Years ago, I bought a set of old commentaries. I had never heard of them before. The only reason I wanted them was that they were stuffed full of newspaper clippings and old articles. I wanted to see those. Among them, was an original clipping from a New York newspaper around 1899. The news was about the funeral of the famous agnostic Robert Ingersoll. He hated religion. His funeral, this clipping reported, was all secular. No prayers. No Bible readings. No preaching. No Heaven. No hope. All secular. All earthly. The funeral ended. It was time to go bury the old fool. His wife and two daughters refused. They clung to the body. The article ended by saying, maybe tomorrow he will be buried. This is where having no hope takes you. There is no comfort in sorrow. There is no hope beyond the grave. It tragically ends in horror, despair and agony.

Our hope is in the Lord. It is the Lord that we love, obey, walk daily with and follow. Heaven is more than a wish or a dream. It is a promise to those who belong to the Lord. We have a hope, that not even death can touch.

Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!

Roger