23

Jump Start # 1856

Posted on May 23, 2017 by Jump Starts Daily in Jump Starts Daily | Tagged | Leave a comment

Jump Start # 1856

John 14:15 “If you love Me, you will keep My commandments.”

The one thing conservative followers of the Bible dread is being labeled a “legalist.” Legalism is a term that is often misunderstood and used by those who want freedom from following the Bible. Associated with legalism is the picture of a person who is narrow minded, judgmental, always pointing out what is wrong and, worst of all, a modern day Pharisee. To be called a legalist is not a compliment. It is a prejudicial term that shuts down discussions, closes doors and is considered a strict and dying sect that no one on the outside wants anything to do with.

 

I have heard of folks walking away from churches and their parting shot is “they are legalists.” Most times, these folks dance merrily off to places where the Bible isn’t followed closely at all and just about anything and everything is allowed. They rejoice in their new found freedom never realizing that they are drinking the poison of error and are setting a new course apart from God.

 

Our verse today is not a call for legalism. Jesus wants us to obey Him. Over and over the New Testament states this. John wrote, “And the one who keeps His commandments abides in Him and He in Him” (1 John 3:24). He writes in the second letter, “Any one who goes too far and does not abide in the teaching of Christ, does not have God; the one who abides in the teaching, he has both the Father and the Son” (2 Jn 9). In Hebrews, “and having been made perfect, He became to all those who obey Him the source of eternal salvation” (Heb 5:9). The apostles were instructed to go into all the world and preach the Gospel, “teaching them to observe all that I commanded you” (Matthew 28:20).

 

God wants us to obey Him. There is no getting around that. To believe that it doesn’t matter what we do, is simply ignoring what the Bible specifically teaches. A church that is just wanting to do what the Bible teaches and nothing else and nothing more, is not legalistic. It’s Bible based. The proper word is “Biblical.”

 

Can I obey Jesus without being a legalist? Can I do what He wants me to do? Can I hope and pray that everyone else also just obeys Jesus? What a great world we would live in today if everyone just obeyed Jesus. Wanting what God desires is not legalism. Obedience is not legalism. Those that drop that term so often do not understand the word that they are using, nor do they understand the desires of God, and worse, by their very misuse of that word, they are lawless. They are doing things without the permission or the authority of God. Jesus was asked “by what authority are you doing these things and who gave you that authority?” That was a fair question. Whose in charge? Who is making up the rules? If not God, then who?

 

We need to obey Christ. That is how our faith and love to Him is expressed. “If we walk in the light, as He is in the light…” is how John began his statements about fellowship. Following Christ is not a bad thing. One should never have to apologize for doing what God tells them to do.

 

Jesus did not rebuke the Pharisees for obeying God. He rebuked them for being hypocrites and for putting their traditions above the law. Their traditions, were just that, theirs. It wasn’t from Heaven. It’s how they saw things. They made up rules, laws and ways folks had to do things. If those weren’t followed, then they judged others as being wrong. After amazing miracles in the synagogues, instead of praising God and blessing Jesus, the Pharisees criticized Jesus because He broke their Sabbath traditions. The bent over woman, the man with the withered hand—just a couple of examples of Pharisees complaining to Jesus about what day of the week He was healing people on. That was the problem in the N.T. It wasn’t because folks were obeying God. The Pharisees were hypocrites. They expected others to do what they weren’t doing themselves. Hypocrisy and man’s traditions can trip us. They can get in the way of obeying God. Traditions change. Traditions come and go. Traditions do not fit everyone, nor in every situation. God’s word does. There is a major difference between traditions and obedience to Christ. I am not a legalist because I obey Jesus. He wants me to.

 

The opposite of perceived legalism, is bending the rules to fit our needs. In such cases, lying might be ok. If it avoids getting a speeding ticket, in trouble with your wife, or boss, a little lying is ok. Really? Who decided this? Yet, if a person declares, you should never, ever lie, that person is called a legalist. God said we should not lie. Does obeying God make a person a legalist?

 

The Bible doesn’t specifically say anything about the church using it’s money to send kids to camp or to do some social things, as long as the results are good, we shouldn’t be too fussy about being so strict about things. That’s the counter to obeying God. For someone to say, where does the Bible show us that we can use our collected money to send kids to camp, immediately someone will shout, “legalist.” Wanting to stick with God and the Bible is not legalism. The proper word is “obedience.” The word is “Biblical.”

 

When folks flee from obedience for fear of being labeled a legalist, then the barn doors are opened and anything and everything happens. Who ever is in charge makes the rules. They will do what they want. I’ve seen it go so far as allowing women to preach, claiming folks do not have to be baptized to be saved, to the church running car washes and looking and acting just like every other modern church today. They smile because “we are not legalists.”

 

I simply want to obey Christ. He knows what I am like and what I need. He is the one who will save me. He is the one who my hope is in. He was obedient to His Father in all things. He pleased His Father. I want to be like that. I will be labeled a legalist by those who want to be lawless. They will misuse that word because they do not understand that word. They will call me narrow and strict. Yet, didn’t our Lord first use those words when He said the way was narrow that leads to life? Truth tends to be narrow. One and one is two. That’s narrow. If I am not narrow, then what am I? Open to any and every idea? Happy to do things that God never said to do? On the broad and wide path that leads to destruction?

 

I think to soothe the conscience of some, it is easier to point the finger at obedient people and call them legalists. Our faith, our relationship and our fellowship with God is all defined by our connection to His word. I cannot be right with God and wrong with the Bible. How can I say I love God, yet I disobey what He says? Follow Christ. Be imitators of Christ. Imitate God’s love. Forgive just as God has forgiven us in Christ. Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loves the church. Over and over the New Testament teaches us to follow Christ. Do what Christ did. Have this attitude or mind in you as Christ did. It never speaks of doing things differently than Christ. It never calls upon us to be unique or different. It never calls obedience legalism.

 

I simply want to obey Christ. Don’t you?

 

Roger

 

22

Jump Start # 1855

Posted on May 22, 2017 by Jump Starts Daily in Jump Starts Daily | Tagged | Leave a comment

Jump Start # 1855

2 Corinthians 9:7 “Let each one do just as he has purposed in his heart; not grudgingly or under compulsion; for God loves a cheerful giver.”

 

Our verse today talks about the attitude we ought to have toward giving. Giving is a touchy subject. Many preachers do not like to talk about it because they feel the audience will perceive that some how the preacher is pushing for a raise. And for those not really connected to the Lord, their outside impression is that the church is always asking for money. They may not care much about you, but they certainly care about what you are giving. Some of these feelings may come from misunderstandings and abuses that are common in the area of money.

 

Let’s be honest and frank, it takes money these days. You know this in your home. Things costs. Plan a trip to Disney—you better save a bundle. Do some remodeling—you’ll get sticker shock. Go look at the price of a car these days. And it takes money just to keep your house going—upkeep, insurance, utilities.

 

When it comes to the New Testament way, giving is the only way the church gets money. The church doesn’t sell things. It doesn’t engage in business. There are no fund raisers, car washes, raffles, pancake breakfasts that generate money—at least not if a church is going to stick with the New Testament pattern. If a church isn’t serious about following the New Testament way, then the sky is the limit. This is why some places sell sermon CD’s, books, and are involved in real estate holdings and even own businesses. Not the New Testament way. In the New Testament, it was the members of that congregation who gave that provided the funds to do things. We don’t see the apostles trying to solicit money from the community. Our verse, showing the spirit of giving, was written to the members of the Corinthian church.

 

Now, some things need to be said. Our church buildings take and use a lot of money. We have to meet somewhere. Most of us do not have homes large enough for the church to meet in our living rooms. A church could rent a place but that can get dicey and complicated at times. It’s most convenient and expedient for a church to own it’s own place to worship. That takes money. It takes money to keep it up, just like it does your house. Some do better at this than others. Some places are real dumps and are full of mold and are falling apart. Those that control the purse strings don’t want to spend any money. While they live in nice homes, they worship in pitiful places. We can do better than that. We are talking about the place we praise and honor God in.

 

It takes a lot of money to do things these days. I think about where I worship. We are heavily involved with social media. We live stream our services. There is a cost. We send out these Jump Starts. There is a cost. We have daily Bible readings we post. We have a daily quote we post. We crank out CD’s, publish class material and post articles and push them on our Facebook page. We have monitors in our entry way that flash messages. We have a picture directory of our members. All of those things come with a price. It costs to do things. To do things well, it costs even more. To make things attractive, colorful and useful, it costs. To bring in guest speakers, pay them well and to pay them their expenses, it costs. Many places do not give that much thought. They bring in a guest preacher and no one asks what his costs were. He may have flown or rented a car. You invited him, did you not consider that? His expenses ought to be covered, if you are inviting him.

 

It costs to have a preacher. Look at your salary. Things are expensive these days. If you want a preacher to stay, pay him. You don’t want him to be sweating each month about bills. You want him to focus upon kingdom work. Don’t go as cheap as you can, you wouldn’t like that when it comes to your paycheck. Remember, out of his paycheck must come taxes, insurance, retirement and many benefits you already have built in your income. You want a good preacher, pay him. Don’t ask him how much he needs, most are embarrassed and too humble to say. Have a number in mind when talking to a preacher. Offer a package. Be generous. Give him raises. If you want to keep him, pay him.

 

It takes a lot of money these days. Where is the money going to come from? From the members. Now, four attitudes found in our verse. Two are negative and two are positive.

 

Do not give grudgingly. That means reluctantly. You give, but you don’t want to. Given the choice, you wouldn’t but everyone else is, so you go along.

 

Do not give under compulsion. That means, under pressure. I love it when a guy proudly states that the Jews gave 10% and we are in the N.T. so that means we ought to do better than that. He has just “compelled” people to give more than 10%. He is doing the very thing this verse tells us not to. Compulsion means force. It means you have to.

 

There isn’t much joy in grudgingly or compulsion giving. You understand when the kid shows up with a school fund raiser. You really don’t want to buy anything but everyone else is and he comes and hands you the paper and you see all those names on there. How can you tell this kid, “No.” So, you purchase some popcorn or wrapping paper. You wouldn’t do it normally, but you felt the peer pressure. In that way, you bought stuff, but you really didn’t want to. Your heart wasn’t into it. That’s the spirit Paul is fighting. Don’t give that way. Be glad to give. Want to give. Look forward to giving. Understand where and what your giving does.

 

The positive attitudes are:

 

Purposed in your heart. Planned. You have planned to give. You have put some thought into this. You are sticking with what you intended to give. It wasn’t a matter of opening up your wallet to see what you had. I saw a guy once drop a twenty into the collection plate and then dug out a five and a ten and kept them. He wanted to give five, but he didn’t have a five. So, he made his own change from the collection plate. I thought he was robbing God. He hadn’t planned ahead.

 

So, here it is a Monday morning and why are we talking about giving? Because this is when it starts. By this coming Sunday, I will have already thought it out, planned and will be ready to give. Maybe more thought ought to be given throughout the week about what we want to give.

 

The other positive attitude here is cheerfulness. Happy to give. Happy to help out. Your giving says that you want things to continue. Your giving says that you believe in what is being done. Your giving says that you want the kingdom to grow in that area. Your giving says that you can count on me. Your giving is tied to your faith. The greater your faith, the greater you will give.

 

The question is always asked, “How much should I give?” Can a person answer, “How often should I pray?” Or, “How much of the Bible should I read?” Give.

 

And don’t forget that God has already given to you. He is generous with His blessings toward you. And don’t forget that there is nothing that God asks of you, that Jesus has not done Himself. Did Jesus ever give? What do you think the Cross was? He gave it all.

 

Let’s not be sassy in our spirit about giving. Let’s not be Scrooges when it comes to our giving. Lets give a lot and then let’s spend a lot in growing the kingdom and taking care of God’s people. The church is not in the banking business. Hoarding buckets of money is not God’s way. Bring it in and send it out. Spend it to reach the community with the Gospel. Spend it to help needy families in the congregation. Spend it to help other preachers. Spend it to keep up with the times and keep the place attractive. Give it and spend it—that’s the way it ought to be done.

 

It’s a blessing and an honor to help be part of something special, like the kingdom of God.

 

Roger

 

19

Jump Start # 1854

Posted on May 19, 2017 by Jump Starts Daily in Jump Starts Daily | Tagged | Leave a comment

Jump Start # 1854

Luke 15:20 “So he got up and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion for him, and ran and embraced him and kissed him.”

 

The parable of the prodigal son– one story that never gets old. It is an illustration of forgiveness. It is the Lord’s description of the nature of God. It is our story. We have stood in that home and wanted to leave. We spent time in the far country, living it up, having a great time, and far, far away from God. We came back to God. We have tasted forgiveness. We know this story.

 

I once edited an entire issue of Biblical Insights that was devoted to this one parable. I remember as a young preacher hearing one of my heroes, Robert Jackson saying that he had 33 different sermons on the prodigal son. At the time I thought, how can you have 33 different sermons on this one parable. Now, all these years later, I think, he ONLY had 33 sermons on this parable.

 

One side point that I want to look at today, based upon our passage, is understanding that people change. The young man that couldn’t wait to get out of the house, now wanted to come home. The prodigal who demanded, “Give me,” now returned with, “Make me” one of your servants. The far country didn’t live up to the expectations that he had dreamed. It never does. Certainly, it was thrilling for a moment, but that moment is fleeting, sinful and harmful. Money gone. Friends gone. Famine. No options. The crushed life today is the person addicted, expelled from school, arrested, fired, divorced and in all of this, alone, empty and without resources. For too many, this is how their life ends. A wasted life. A selfish life. A life that didn’t glorify God nor accomplish much good.

 

In the Lord’s story, the prodigal changed. He changed his mind and he changed his direction. He got up and came home. That’s the key. That’s hard. That involves admitting you failed. That involves swallowing a lot of pride. Many a person will admit that the booze and hard living destroyed their marriage, lost their jobs, and even took their health. But they say that sitting in a bar, looking at yet another drink. They don’t change. They remain in the far country. They never come home.

 

The Lord’s prodigal changed.

 

There are two thoughts that come with this:

 

First, people can change. That is the story found within the Bible. People can change. The Corinthians were immoral, thieves and pagans. They changed. Every person that is a Christian has changed. Righteous people do not become Christians. We were unrighteous.

 

This is the message that needs to be repeated. You can change. Society tells us that you can’t. Accept. Embrace. Change the thinking of others. Change the by-laws of the church (whatever that means). So, instead of prodigals coming home, today, the church and the world runs to the far country and has a meal with the prodigal in the pig pen. That’s not the Lord’s story. It wasn’t the father who changed. It was the prodigal.

 

Change isn’t easy. For the prodigal, he had to leave the far country. Get out of the environment that destroyed your life and your soul. Change friends. Change jobs. Change cities. Change habits. Not easy, but it is possible.

 

Second, for those of us that are at home with the Father, we must allow others to change. Sometimes we are the very ones who are declaring, “He’ll never change,” or, “It won’t last.” You don’t find the Father saying that. Not in Jesus’ story. Instead of standing on the sidelines of life, booing, believe in people and help them to change. It’s a journey. It’s hard. There may even be a step or two backward as they are trying to make progress.

 

Can the unfaithful husband change? Yes. Can the addict change? Yes. Can the habitual liar change? Yes. Have you changed?

 

What brought the change, wasn’t counseling, programs, but coming to the Father. Those other things may need to be used, but without the Father, there won’t be any change. The prodigal came home to his Father. It wasn’t his brother that he missed. It wasn’t the family dog that he missed. It was the way he knew that his Father would treat him. The servants, who were serving, were living better than he was. He was a son, yet he longed to have a life as good as the servants did. The servants lived well because of his Father. The generous, kind Father was responsible for the good life the servants lived. If he could only have that, it would be better than looking at pigs.

 

Trickling through all of this is the thread that reminds us that we too can change. Our attitudes can get better. We don’t have to be so bleak, negative and complaining. Even at work, our outlook can improve. The way we talk to others can improve. We don’t have to interrupt so much, nor correct every mistake someone says. We can take off the “Grammar police” hat. What we are doing in the church can get better. We can worship better. We can be more engaged and more involved. Our marriages do not have to stay the way they are. They can get better.

 

Underlining this great parable is the story of someone who changed. It is possible. You and I can change. Our relationship with the Lord can get better. We can know the Bible better than we do. We can pray better and more. We can walk with more joy in our hearts. Change is possible, not just for the far country people, but even for us at home. The elder brother didn’t get that. He didn’t think that he needed to change. He didn’t think that he was lost. He was just as lost at home as the prodigal was in the far country.

 

Both boys needed to change. One did.

 

I saw a survey that indicated overwhelmingly most people do not like the way that they look. We don’t like our ears, our nose. We have put on too many pounds. We are too short. We don’t like our hair. Some will spend a lot trying to change their appearance, even to the point of having surgery. But what really can be changed is the way we are on the inside. Do you like that? Do you like how you treat others? Do you like your attitude? Do you like your walk with the Lord? Do you like your home life? Do you like yourself? That can be changed. You can be a different person, a better person. Sometimes it takes a “pig moment” before we realize this. We ruin a friendship, a marriage, a relationship with our family, and then it comes out. Our attitude. Our arrogance. Our tongue. Our judgmental tone. Change. Change those things. Make things right and better.

 

You can change. Will you?

 

Roger

 

18

Jump Start # 1853

Posted on May 18, 2017 by Jump Starts Daily in Jump Starts Daily | Tagged | Leave a comment

Jump Start # 1853

Ezekiel 33:32 “Behold, you are to them like a sensual song by one who has a beautiful voice and plays well on an instrument; for they hear your words but they do not practice them.”

Ezekiel is a tough book. It’s a tough book to understand and even a tougher book to relate to all the things that the prophet experienced. Written from Babylon to the exiles of Judah who were taken away in captivity, God was trying to reform and change the hearts that made Him punish them.

 

In our passage today, God is telling the prophet about how he is viewed by the people. They love him, but they won’t do what he tells them. In a few verses before this, Ezekiel is told that the people talk about him and they love to hear him. In fact, the people encourage each other to hear the prophet. “Come now and hear what the message is…” No one had to plead with these people to come. They wanted to come. They loved to hear the messages of Ezekiel.

 

Our verse illustrates how the people viewed Ezekiel. He was like a musician singing and playing before them. It was like going to a concert. Listening to Ezekiel was like listening to one who had a beautiful voice and played well on the instrument.

 

I’ve been blessed to be able to hear some incredible singers preform live. I saw Andy Williams singing his famous, “Moon River.” I got to see Paul McCartney sing the most recorded song of all time, his “Yesterday.” From Dan Fogelberg, Chicago, America, Styx, Gordon Lightfoot, Don McClean, Billy Joel, Little Richard, even the Zombies, I have sat and heard some amazing pop singers.

 

Ezekiel was like a concert on stage to these people. It was a show. They loved the show but they didn’t do anything with what he had said. There was no changing. The words pleased them but didn’t move them. From a preacher’s perspective, we don’t want to be the singer on stage. Our desire isn’t to fill the audience with people who adore us and flatter us with kind words. We are not about us, but the God whose word we are preaching. Ezekiel’s audience didn’t get that. Their hearts would not change. What is interesting is that they would continue to come and they even liked listening to Ezekiel, but they weren’t moving.

 

This is frustrating. This is not the goal of preaching. This is not the purpose of a sermon. It is not to like the preacher, but rather to persuade people, as Paul told the Corinthians.

 

The “Ezekiel complex” is alive and well today. Congregations want a “good preacher.” They want someone who is “interesting” to listen to. But in all of that, many do not want to be pushed, changed, challenged or moved from where they are. We are comfortable. We like where we are. We don’t want to have to do more than what we are already doing. Just preach nice sermons, we’ll pay you well, and all will be great. For those who see preaching as just another job, that is appealing. Loved. Paid well. No bumps in the road. Sounds like a cushy job. And, it is. However, that’s not our call as preachers. We are not to merely preach “nice sermons.” We are to preach the word. We are to preach in season and out of season.

 

 

Ezekiel’s audience mirrors those who came out of Egypt. For forty years they wandered through the wilderness, funerals nearly every day, until finally only Joshua and Caleb where left as the original adults who came out of Egypt. A whole generation died in that wilderness. They died because they complained, they were faithless and they wouldn’t change.

 

Now, all these years later, Ezekiel’s people are in Babylon. They will be there for 70 years. Most of the adults who were taken captive would die in Babylon. Those that came back, were young when they first entered Babylon. A generation died in captivity. A generation that loved to hear Ezekiel preach, but who would not change.

 

The “Ezekiel complex” reminds us that there are two parts to Sunday’s sermon. The part we notice immediately and often focus most of our attention upon, is the preacher’s part. He writes the sermon. He delivers the sermon. We judge that sermon has being good, or, ok, or, one of the best we’ve ever heard. We go home and another week passes. We gather the next week and do the same thing all over. Week after week. Year after year. We listen to hundreds and hundreds of sermons in our lifetime. A few we will remember. We may recall a story or two. We may remember a joke. We might write something in our Bibles. But for the most part, all those words pass through us.

 

The other part of Sunday’s sermon is more complicated. It’s the heart of the listener. He hears the sermons. He may even like what he hears. But once the sermon has been preached, what then? What happens after the sermon? This is the part that only the listener can decide. Will he be changed by the sermon? Will he get closer to the Lord? Will he walk in righteousness? Will he be motivated and challenged to do more than what he is doing? Will there be any noticeable improvements after the sermon?

 

Or, as in Ezekiel’s situation, will the people love to hear the message, but they have no intention of changing. For them, it’s like sitting in the audience and listening to a concert.

 

Sunday isn’t a show. It’s worship. God isn’t upon a stage, He is upon the throne. The best sermon may not be constructed well, delivered well, or even outlined well, but it will be one that changes my life. It will be one that makes me step up as a parent or a spouse. It will be one that provokes me to go across the aisle and forgive someone. It will open my heart to reach others. It will show me the value of having others in my home. It will get me to put Christ first in my life. It will lead me to walk in righteousness.

 

“Love your sermons, preacher.” Really? Why? Is it because it’s making you into a better person and building character, or is it because you simply like my style on stage? Performance or production—that’s the difference. Listening or becoming? Watching or changing?

 

Poor Ezekiel. How heart breaking to be told what we read in our verse today. People love you but they are not going to listen to you. You are not going to change these hearts. Preachers don’t want to be loved, they want to make a difference.

 

The sermon has two parts: the preacher’s part and the listener’s part. Together, they build faith and commitment to Christ. But it takes both parts.

 

Do you have the “Ezekiel complex?” Work on it. Allow sermons to be a powerful tool to help you in your walk with the Lord. Do more than thank the preacher for a good sermon, live the sermon. Become what God wants you to be. That’s the purpose and the point of the sermon.

 

It’s not a show on stage, it’s about salvation in your heart!

 

Roger

 

17

Jump Start # 1852

Posted on May 17, 2017 by Jump Starts Daily in Jump Starts Daily | Tagged | Leave a comment

Jump Start # 1852

Proverbs 18:24 “A man of too many friends comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

 

We had a teen devo the other evening. The topic was friends that can mess up your life. Teens have trouble with that. Most of us got into trouble because of a friend that encouraged us to do something that we know we shouldn’t, but we did. It’s hard to blame the friend, we chose to do it, we were just encouraged and not thinking.

 

There are two steps in this passage. One is plural and the other is singular.

 

The first step is a man of too many friends. That’s the plural. The result is ruin. That seems counter to how we feel. You can just hear someone saying, “You can’t have too many friends.” This verse says, “Yes, you can.” Too many friends brings disaster. We are not told why, but it’s not too hard to understand. Friendships take time. Friends do things together. Friends are in each others lives. That’s the idea of friends. Too many, and a person is spread thin. Too many and a person can’t keep up. Too many, and a person is running crazy with all the activities, all the things the different friends want to do. The person with too many friends must be popular. It seems everyone wants to be his friend. Everyone wants to be around him. Some are popular because of their charisma. Others, because of their talent. Some by good looks. In every high school, there is always that issue of fitting in. The “in” kids and the “out” kids. The “out” kids want to be “in.” The “in” don’t want the “out.” The popular kids can let all of this go to their heads. Many look back on the high school days and realize the ugliness and tension that filled those hallways.

 

One must wonder how this verse fits in with social media today. Is it possible to have “too many” friends? All the texts. All the Twitter. All the Facebook posts. Reading all of that every day can take the day. Before long, a person spends every spare moment checking their phone. Another message. Another post. More likes to add. More smiles to post. More comments to add. Does it ever get to the point where a person says, “too much?”

 

We are not told what the “ruin” is that the writer had in mind. Was he ruined physically by exhaustion? Was he ruined morally as he tried to please all these people? Was he ruined spiritually? It may have been a combination of all of these.

 

The other aspect that we are not told, is how many is too many? What’s the limit? We wish that God told us things like that. Most likely, the number is not given because it varies with each person. One person may be able to handle more friends than someone else. It must be individual.

 

The second step in this passage, the singular use, is the one friend. There is one friend who sticks closer than a brother. Friend and brother. The friend remained closer than the brother. We understand this in life. We do not get to pick who are parents are, nor our siblings. Some get good ones, others not so good. As we grow up, move away, we find certain people who are dear to our hearts. They stick close. They remain close. They are people that we have chosen to be our friends. Their thinking, out look on life and lifestyles are connected to ours. They have helped us. They have been there for us. And, we have been there for them. We have a history.

 

Among us, it is essential for that friend to be a Christian. We need that person in our life who not only is a dear friend, but understands and values the Lord as we do. We need that person who will tell us what we need to hear, even if it is not what we want to hear. We need that person whose eyes are set upon Heaven, to be that spiritual encourager, that reminder of our goal and purpose and to be that confident counselor who will help us finish the course we started with the Lord. A true spiritual friend who will not allow us to back out of a marriage because we are tired. A true spiritual friend who knows our story and still loves us.

 

The first and foremost place we need that friend is in our marriage. Marrying your best friend, who so happens to be your spiritual best friend, is vital. You need to pray in your marriage. You need encouragement in your marriage. You need to be on the same page spiritually so your decisions, will honor the Lord. It is often asked, “Is it a sin to marry someone who is not a Christian?” Of course, not. Many are Christians today, because of their mate. Many more, though, are no longer walking with the Lord because of their mate. They compromised. They got weaker. Instead of pulling their mate up, their mate pulled them down. It’s always easier to go down hill than up hill. It’s hard to have hospitality, especially with the church family, when one in the marriage is not a Christian. It’s hard to give as you really want to when one in the marriage doesn’t see the importance of doing that.

 

Marrying your best friend is a part of life that parents have trouble with. Your child tells you everything. Growing up, you become the most important person in your child’s life. Then they meet someone, fall in love and get married, and you are replaced. You are not involved as much. You are not told much. They have shifted their friendship from you to their mate. That’s the way it is supposed to be. God said a man should leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife. This is the way it is to be, but for parents, they feel left out. It’s hard, but that’s the way we want it for their sake. Parents that do not get this, continually drive a wedge in their child’s marriage and make things difficult. Parents, we are replaced in our child’s heart by their mate. You can understand this in your own life and make this easy or you can become the “in-law” that everyone dreads.

 

Outside of our marriage, we ought to have a dear spiritual friend that we can talk to. Someone who is going to be that encourager and help for us. What a powerful difference that makes to have that person who is there to help, guide, remind and even kick us in the pants when we need it.

 

Do you have that? Who do you go to when you have concerns spiritually? Who can you talk to about things spiritually? Who picks you up spiritually?

 

In many ways, too many friends brings a person to ruin, just as no friends brings a person to ruin. It’s more than simply having a friend, it’s having the right kind of friend who is of great spiritual quality and brings the best out of you.

 

We all need that. I got to spend a couple of hours with one of mine yesterday. It is always worth it!

 

Roger