Jump Start # 1815

1 Peter 3:8 “To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing.”

“To sum up,” begins this lengthy passaged that is loaded with expressions of how we as Christians are to treat others. What Peter is summing up are relationships. Midway through chapter two Peter addresses the relationship that the Christian has with the government. There, the word is be submissive. He then moves on to the servant-master relationship. There, the word is be submissive. Be submissive to those who are unreasonable. Peter reminds us of Christ and how when suffering, He uttered no threats. No only did Christ die for us, but He left us footprints, or an example to follow when it comes to suffering.

Peter’s not done. The third chapter begins with the husband and wife. “In the same way,” this section begins. In what same way? Just as servants were to be to unreasonable masters, wives were to be to unreasonable husbands. The word there is submissive. Peter then moves to the husbands. You husbands, “in the same way.” There is that phrase again. In what way? Just as servants, just as wives, so husbands are to treat their wives, even if they are unreasonable.

Then comes our verse. “To sum up” – all these relationships. All these situations. Many of them, very difficult. A servant who had a cruel master, couldn’t just walk away and find another job. It didn’t work that way back then. He had to make the best of it by living as Christ did. He may endure cruel treatment, which we’d quickly announce as being unfair and not right, but there was little he could do.

What he was not to do was “return evil for evil, or insult for insult.” He was to be humble. He was to be kind. He was to be harmonious, sympathetic. This is the “summing up” that Peter was driving at.

I feel that to a degree, we get this and see this when we discuss the servant and master relationship. This makes for good discussion in Bible classes. It’s mostly talk and theory to us. We don’t face these same things today. We are not that kind of servants in this society. But Peter doesn’t leave his thoughts with the servant and master. He moves on to the home. It is here that “in the same way,” and “to sum up” apply. Now, it’s not theory and mere words. Now we look at our situation and now we are faced with living as Peter directs or we stand behind the complaint, “it’s not fair.”

There are several young couples that I know that are struggling in their marriages. Some have already given up and gotten a divorce. Many of these couples have been married for less than five years. Trouble. Hardship. Tons of tears. Some of these couples are not united in faith. A Christian married someone who wasn’t a Christian. They never got on the same page. Others, are believers, but wrong choices, mixed up expectations, a lack of patience, a lack of Christ and the marriage has already started coming apart at the seams. For some, it’s over even before it barely started. Trouble in paradise. Insults were passed between them. Name calling. Finger pointing. The foundation of marriage chipped away until one day someone suggests the “D” word, “Divorce.” The leading cause behind this is “I’m no longer happy.”

Satan has used happiness to sell his cheap goods and to dangle his fake trinklets before our eyes. Be happy. Everyone lived happily ever after. Even in church we sing, “I’m happy today, oh, yes, I’m happy today…” and there sits some of us, and we aren’t happy. All we can think about is how miserable, trapped and unhappy we are. The faults of our mate loom large in our minds. All we see is how disappointing our mate is. All around us, at work, in the movies, our friends, remind us that we deserve better. We deserve to be happy. The powder keg of injustice, unfairness and their lack of attention to the marriage builds and builds until we finally explode. No more. I’m out, or you are out. I’m done with this. And the marriage falls apart. Words are said, that may never be able to be overcome or healed. And the marriage falls apart.

Peter’s words, “In the same way,” illustrates for us that he is dealing with marriages that are unreasonable, just like servants endured from their master. You won’t find Peter telling a couple to look for the exit door. Christ suffered and never uttered threats in return. Servants are to be subject to unreasonable masters. Peter wants us, including couples, to be harmonious—that’s the word for harmony. Stop singing a solo. Stop going your own way. Work together. Bend where you can. It’s not all about you nor always having your way. You are singing together. Be sympathetic—feel what the other one is going through. How would you like to receive the treatment that you have been dishing out? What’s the other one going through. Don’t try to “one-up” their trials or pain. Maybe the job stinks. Maybe there are problems with the parents. Sympathize. Feel. Care. Compassion. We sing the song, “Does Jesus care?” And we know that He does. What we wonder is, “does my mate care?” Or, maybe we ought to ask, “Do I care?” Be sympathetic.

Brotherly is the next word. That’s the word that we use to describe our relationship with other Christians. We are family. We are connected. We trust. We care. We support. We are brothers. That fits in a marriage.

Kindhearted—be kind. Be kind from the inside out. Kind words. Kind deeds. Kind people do nice things for others. Kind people don’t have any room to be selfish. Usually when the marriage is coming off the tracts, kindness is one of the first things to go. We don’t feel kind. We feel hurt. Be kind.

Humble in spirit. Kill the pride. You are not perfect nor have you done everything right. In a marriage, the faults of the other are so glaring that we tend not to see our own. Be humble. Listen.

Then Peter says, don’t insult. Don’t do evil. Give a blessing. Give a blessing to unreasonable masters. Give a blessing to unreasonable mates. Remember, Jesus prayed for the salvation of His executioners.

Satan can weaken the church by chipping away at our marriages. Satan can get to us through our marriages. He wants to destroy our congregations. He wants to destroy our marriages. But mostly, he wants to destroy us. Troubles in marriage is hard on our faith. Parents don’t understand. It’s hard. It’s time we step up, change ourselves and remind ourselves that we made a promise to God and we are going to keep it. It doesn’t always work out that easily. For some, they want out no matter what. They have little regard for God and His ways. That is tragic.

I tend to think that we need a bit more “in the same way,” and “to sum up,” in our hearts and disposition.

May God help you. May you invite God’s help into your hearts and homes.

Roger