Jump Start # 1770

Psalms 127:3-4 “Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth.”

  Later this week I’m off to Texas to do some preaching about parenting. To prepare for this, I have just completed a mini series here at home on that subject. Parenting is hard. The task before us seems too great for us. Godly parents seem overwhelmed. They want their children to be successful, happy and have friends, but there seems to be so many negatives today. The days of Mayberry are over. Mr. Rogers is dead. And not everyone gets along in the neighborhood these days. Cyber bullying. Sexting. The plague of Porn. Porn sites get more traffic than Amazon, Netflix and Twitter combined. It’s a tough world today. It leaves many parents feeling helpless and hopeless. For many, they just want to go home, lock the doors, pull down the blinds and never leave.

But what we have that helps us is God and His word. Greater is He who is in us than he who is in the world, the apostle reminds us. Young Daniel, away from home, in a foreign land, refused to eat the king’s food. Young Shadrach and his friends, defiantly refusedvthe King’s angry order, even when faced with death. These young people did not have a mom and dad standing beside them, telling them what to do. There is a very good chance that mom and dad were dead in Jerusalem. They had their own faith. They stood on their own convictions. They refused to sell out, compromise and do what was easy and safe. These examples could be our young people in a college dorm away from home. On their own, having to make their own decisions, they had been taught. They knew. This is what parents long for and pray for.

Let’s begin by dismissing some common myths of parenting. We know these things, but still, somehow they linger in our minds.

1. Good parents are not supposed to have any problems with their children. This thought only breeds guilt and comes from judgmental spirits that have forgotten what it was like to have kids at home. I thought Romans said, “All have sinned…” That includes our children after they reach a certain age. Sin always produces problems. Sin always hurts, disappoints and destroys. God is the father in Luke 15. His son became a prodigal. Was God to blame? Should he have been a better father? Dare anyone point a finger at God in this story?

2. My child will be my buddy. I believe it gets to that later on, especially as they move out, mature and are on their own. But while at home, nope! Parents make mistakes when they try to fit in, get along and be the buddy. Buddies have fun. Buddies never get on each other. Buddies don’t have rules. You are declared to be the parent by God. The Lord has given you authority over your home. You set the rules. The home is not a democracy. Imagine sitting around the dinner table and mom and dad discuss finances with the four kids. A vote is taken. Do we pay the mortgage this month or go to Disney? Mom and dad will be out voted on that one. Home is not a democracy. Mom and Dad set the rules. The kids won’t like many of the rules. They may even say that they hate you because of the rules. They may declare that when they move out, they will do just the opposite. That all may be true, but for now, while they are living under your roof, they go by the rules. There isn’t much buddy-buddy in all of that.

3. Teens don’t like to talk. Boy, I’ve heard that one. It’s usually a parent that says that. Have you looked at your child’s phone? Look at the texts. Look at the contacts. Sure they talk. They talk all the time. They may not want to talk to you, the parent, but they certainly talk. The task before parents is to find the avenue and the time to create an atmosphere that enhances conversation. If you are constantly on their back about everything, then they will just shut you down and not talk. Why talk, when all they are going to do is complain, is how some teens feel. Teens are in that transition world of trying to be grown up but still needing guidance and help. They won’t admit it, but they need it. Find ways to talk. It begins by listening to them. Step inside their world. It’s tough today being a teen who is trying to be godly.

4. They know what they are supposed to do. You’d be surprised. You’d think that should know. You have told them enough times that they ought to have things memorized by now, but too often they don’t. So, don’t be shy about where you stand. Draw a very visible line in the sand. Make it crystal clear what is expected and what is off limits. They need to know that following Christ goes beyond the church house, or even your house. It’s everywhere, all the time. Always. Always following Christ. Parents need buckets of patience. There are days you may feel like screaming. There are days you think that they will never get it. But you stay at it. You never give up. You can’t give up.

Our verse reminds us that our children are a gift. A gift from the Lord. How wonderful and precious that is. We tend to view our children as “ours.” Actually, they are the Lord’s. He has loaned them to us for a while. So, don’t bury your head in the sand. Keep your eyes and ears opened. Think and pray before you act. Don’t be afraid to say “no,” to a world that is always saying “yes.” And remember, if you do not teach them and raise them right, no one else will. They will certainly learn about the Bible. If not from you, it may be for an atheistic college professor. They will certainly learn about sexuality and love. If not from you, then from a boyfriend or girlfriend. They will certainly learn about the church. If not from you, then from a phony substitute that is based upon feelings and not faith. They’ll certainly learn…the question is, will they learn the right way?

More on parenting to come…

For now, pray and hold on tight!

Roger