Jump Start #1672

1 Peter 2:21 “For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps.”

Sometimes we forget that the Gospels cover three years of Jesus’ ministry. It’s easy to think that we are reading decades. Three years. That’s shorter than it takes to get a high school degree. Three years flies by. But when we read through the Gospels we find Jesus encountering difficult people and difficult situations nearly every day. There were desperate parents whose kids were possessed with demons or were stricken with deadly diseases. There were cripples, blind and deaf seeking Him out. There were Jewish leaders who were throwing difficult questions and trying to trap Him. Synagogue officials were angry with Him. Crowds followed to see what would happen next. The disciples went from one fearful moment to the next. Screaming demons, violent storms and audiences that didn’t understand what Jesus was about. All of this in three years. I wonder if Jesus lay in bed thinking “what’s going to happen today?” So many of the people Jesus encountered were difficult. Pharisees who refused to open their eyes and see Jesus. Social outcasts, like lepers and tax collectors. There was the woman at the well, a Samaritan, confused and a track record of broken relationships. There was the woman caught in adultery, a person in trouble. Difficult situations. Difficult people.

Our verse today, taken from around the arrest and trials of Jesus, sum up his life. He suffered. He was the suffering Savior. In His suffering, He left footprints for us to follow. Many of us have difficult people in our lives. Unlike Jesus, they are not for three years, but rather three decades or more. These difficult people come in many forms.

They often start as our parents. Unwilling to listen or consider our standpoint of things. Demanding and controlling. Even as adults, they interfere and try to run our lives. Usually, the outcome is not running our lives, but ruining our lives. The problems with in-laws and out-laws causes a lot of heartache in the lives of young couples. Parents demanding that they come around for the holidays and wanting them to spend all the time with them, never thinking that there is his or her parents that want to see them as well. Calling daily. Over the top pressure and guilt—parents can be difficult. Some need to go to adult day care for a few days and chill out.

Demanding bosses can fill our lives with stress and pressure. They see your job as your life and that it is far more important than your family or your faith. They pour on the work, expecting longer and longer hours and they become more and more demanding. If it were for only three years, we could probably make it. But, twenty years? It’s hard just walking away and finding another job. So often, you leave one place and you walk right into the same high pressured, demanding situation that you left. These jobs take a toll on us. We are weary at the end of the day. We have a hard time leaving all the issues there, so we find ourselves unloading upon our mates. Toxic co-workers are everywhere.

Demanding elders at church can ruin worship and make our spiritual life a burden as well. Instead of being helpful and supportive, these elders are always pointing their finger, demanding to know where and why and layering your life with more guilt and pressure to do what you really do not what to do. Worship is dreaded because of these overbearing elders who are clueless to how to shepherd people and lead people to green pastures and quiet waters. They would rather drive cattle, than lead sheep, so they drive sheep. They drive them crazy. They drive them to dropping out. Folks fear getting the third degree right in the doorway as others are walking in. Demanding. Controlling. Hurting. This approach kills growth. It darkens the atmosphere. It leaves a sour taste in everyone’s mouth.

Christ also suffered, leaving you an example to follow. The next verses in Peter takes us to the Lord’s trials. He uttered no threats. He did not revile in return. He kept entrusting Himself to God. That’s hard. It was hard for Jesus, and it’s hard for us. It’s hard to hold your tongue. It’s hard not to just turn your desk over and walk out. It’s hard not to just hang up the phone when your mom starts her ranting. It’s hard not to just stay home and have worship with just your family. Those thoughts cross your mind. There are days. We think, “how did Jesus do it?” Some reach a point where they feel that they can’t take it any more.

Demanding and difficult people generally do not see themselves that way. They believe that they are being helpful. They believe that if they weren’t that way, then things would not get done. Rough. Unpolished. Crossing the line. This is way it is for demanding people.

What’s the hope? What’s the solution?

First, do what Jesus did. That’s always the first and right choice. What did the Lord do? Our verse tells us. He trusted God. He did not get down in the mud with others. He did not lose His cool. He didn’t say or do things that He had to go back and apologize for later. I haven’t always followed that lead. I should have. I know all too well what it is like to have demanding people in your life. Been there. You feel like a prisoner and you look every day for a way to escape. I have said things that now I wish I didn’t. I nearly punched one guy for the way he was talking to my wife. I walked away. So glad. What helped was prayer. What helped was others who advised me. What helped was finally leaving some of those situations and establishing some boundaries. You have to have boundaries.

Sometimes Christians misuse the Bible to control people. I started seeing that. I realized you can’t do that. Your assumed guilt isn’t working because what you say isn’t Biblical.

Second, keep doing what the Lord wants you to do. This is important. Do not let demanding people turn you from the Lord. Continue to worship. Continue to be engaged in the kingdom. Continue to help others. You can’t hang your hat on  the nail of others as an excuse for you not doing what you should. So the preacher is demanding. Tell him to take a vacation and you continue to walk with the Lord. You boss is demanding. Pray hard as you walk into work. Pray that you will not say the wrong thing. Continue to let your light shine.

Third, I have found, that those difficult periods of our life is something we move through. We were with some good friends the other day. Our paths go way back. We all had experienced difficult times with difficult people. We were telling a few of those sad memories. But at one point I declared, “Yet, here we are.” We moved on. We refused to be ruined or defined by those difficult times. We are past it now. On this day, we were laughing, sharing and enjoying the great friendship and fellowship we have in the Lord. For Jesus, it was three years. For you it may be longer. But, you can make with the help of the Lord.

Difficult people do not realize the misery nor the damage that they cause to others. They could make things so much better, but they don’t know how. They do not understand the message of Christ, even those who claim to be Christians. This is not how Christ wanted our relationships to be.

There is one other aspect about difficult people. They have shown me what not to do. They have driven me to be the opposite.

With God’s help, we will overcome. Some day, we will be with the Lord and all of these things will just be a memory. Some day, you may even be able to laugh about these things, as my friends and I did the other day.

Some day…

Roger