Jump Start # 1533
Proverbs 25:17 “Let your foot rarely be in your neighbor’s house, or he will become weary of you and hate you.”
The truisms found in Proverbs are not always deep moral and spiritual values. Today’s verse is such an example. This sounds like something that our mothers should have taught us, not Heaven. The practical nature of this verse doesn’t have a narrow application just for believers of God. This is simply true across the board.
We have an old expression, “wear out your welcome,” that sounds very similar to our verse. Don’t wear your neighbor out. Don’t be over there all the time. What you might think is a good thing, from his perspective is ruining the relationship. Our verse ends with the neighbor “hating” the one who is always over.
In many places, especially in urban cities, neighbors wave, but barely know each other. It’s almost the opposite of this verse. Busy schedules and lifestyles leave neighbors occasionally talking when they are out working on the yard. This isn’t true across the board, but it is in many, many places. People, even those in the same church, do not just drop by to “visit” any more. We are too busy. Most likely, you wouldn’t even find the person at home.
But I think this has a broader application than just always being at the neighbors house. We can “wear out our welcome,” with family members and even brethren by:
- Talking too much. Have you noticed that some people seem to have the cell phone next to their head all the time. On the air plane, driving the car, in the grocery store, some are talking all the time. Is there that much to say? Or, could it be, that we are telling too much to others? Could it be that we have left no space for just “thinking” to ourselves? Could it be that we lost the art of “meditation?” Could it be that we don’t just try to solve things ourselves? Now, lest someone scream at me, I’m not anti– cell phone. I use one all the time. But I’m not a “chit-chatter.” Get to the point, get business done, and get off—that’s my approach. I wonder if we may make some “weary of you” because of the cell phone.
- We can wear our neighbor out by dominating their time. Long, detailed stories take a while to explain. We can be blind to how demanding we may seem to be of others. There are some, if you ask, “How are you doing?” they will give you a complete medical break down of every ache, pain, pill and doctor’s visit that they’ve had. When they are done, I am usually at a loss at to what to say, other than, “do you need to go to the hospital?” Which is the wrong thing to say, because that opens the door to the past ten hospital visits that they had. I think the poor souls are lonely for attention and are looking for someone to talk to. Given the chance, they will do it.
- We can wear our neighbor out by asking too many personal questions. Some just want to know the details. They want to know why this and why that. They want the nitty-gritty of every situation. Often, they won’t do anything with that information, they just want to know. So, here you are walking into the office at work, or the church building, and Mr. Got-to-know, greets you with a thousand questions. The questions can be too personal and revealing. You feel uneasy answering them, but you do. That situation can wear a person out. First, don’t be so nosey. Second, do not feel compelled to answer every question. Some items are not their business. A relationship can be ruined by one who is quizzed all the time.
The drive behind this verse is to be mindful of the other person. Be aware of how often you are at your neighbor’s house. Be mindful of his spirit, if he is getting weary. Be mindful if he is growing tired of you and the relationship is becoming annoying. Don’t be so focused upon you and your world that you ruin his world. Be thoughtful. Be respectful. Be kind. This verse sets the tone for the golden rule, that Jesus would deliver in the sermon on the mount, years later. Treat others, as you would want to be treated. No one likes to be worn out by a demanding, needy neighbor. There are some days that we just want to be at home with your family and no one else. Jesus got away by himself to pray. He did that more than once. So think about that, when you pick up the cell phone or get on Facebook.
Being alone and being lonely are not the same thing. Some can be lonely in a large crowd. Being alone, gives you time to think, to pray, to observe, and to meditate. It’s good sometimes to just sit and enjoy a sunset. It’s good to sit with the TV off, the cellphone put up, the tablet in another room, and just sit. That would be a new experience for some. That would drive some crazy. But it could be a very helpful thing to do. Thinking spiritually is always healthy and profitable. Make time for that. Instead of bugging your neighbor, talk to the Lord. Instead of wearing out your welcome, spend some time alone with the Lord.
Interesting passage…I wonder, through the years, how many changed their ways because of it. I wonder if I will change my ways because of it.
Roger