Jump Start # 1214

Proverbs 12:26 “A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.”

  Friends—we need them. All of us need them. There are a variety of levels of friends. There are school friends and neighborhood friends. There are church friends and work friends. Those in our family are more than family, they are friends. We have Facebook friends and then we have those few deep, close friends. These are the people who are honest with us. These are the people that really know us. They have seen us without the masks we wear. They have seen our struggles and our triumphs. They have sat in the audience at weddings and have been to the funeral home with us and for us. These are the ones that sat beside us when nothing needed to be said. Just their presence made things better. We could always count on them bringing a cup of soup when we didn’t feel well. They allowed us to borrow ladders and their time when we needed an emergency babysitter. Friends, where would be without them.

There was a time in my life when I didn’t have very many close friends. I was too much of a lone wolf. I was sailing my own direction and doing pretty good. But that doesn’t work too well in reality. It sounds good, but life is made to share with others. We need others. God knows we need a fellowship. Togetherness, connections, friendships are valuable. They help us, mold us, make us accountable and strengthen us.  Men, especially have difficulty having close friends. Too many of us do not share things. There are times when a woman needs a woman to talk to and a man needs a man to talk to. Work, marriage, family, even church life can bring pressures and stress upon us and it helps talking to someone else. It helps when that friend is a friend in Christ. Not all friends are helpful. Their advice could be hurtful instead of helpful. They could get in the way of things being done right. The end of our verse shows what can happen when friendship is abused and not right. A wicked friend leads them away. Because of those wicked friendships, a person is worse off. His friendship did not strengthen him morally and spiritually. We remember David’s son, Amnon, who was lusting after his half-sister, Tamar. His friend concocted a wild idea of pretending to be ill so she would be alone with him. He listened. He took that dumb advice. It gave him the opportunity to rape her. Not all things our friends tell us is worthwhile. We need those strong friendships in Christ.

I’m not that lone wolf anymore. I have many, many friends. I love them and they are so important to me. God has blessed me with so many friends. Our passage today shows the influence of friends. A righteous person is careful. He is cautious. The ESV says, “One who is righteous is a guide to his neighbor…” The righteous man realizes the power of influence among friends. He is careful, thoughtful and cautious. He thinks about what he says. He remembers that he is a light in the world.

Here are some things a righteous friend will do:

 1. He will lead his friend in righteousness. He is cautious. He is careful. He is thinking. He wants to strengthen the friendship not weaken it. He wants to help his friend be a powerful Christian and a keeper of his promises. His advice will be based upon Scriptures. He may tell his friend that what he did wasn’t right. He may tell him that an apology is in order back home, or at work. He doesn’t defend his friend no matter what. He defends what is right. Righteousness comes before and above friendship. He will not encourage nor be a part of things that are not right. He will not support mistreating marriage vows, unethical choices in business, cheating the system or finding ways to get ahead that are not above board. A friend may share wild and even illegal ideas with you. The righteousness in you will try to reason with the friend. The righteousness in you will walk away from wrong schemes. You will not be a part of them. Rather, the righteousness in us will lead prayers with our friend. That righteousness in us will lead us to inviting our friend to church services. Our friend will know how important God is to us. They will recognize the spiritual fiber that is part of our DNA. It comes up often. It comes out often. God is important to us and that is one thing that our friend appreciates about us. Together, with a godly friend, we make each other a better person. We share ideas and dreams that are good and helpful. We encourage and push one another to continually raise the bar spiritually. We look back and wonder what we would have done had our friend not been there. This is what righteous friends will do.

2. He will love his friend at all times. Love is demonstrated. Love is shown. It’s not an emotion, but a choice. You will love your friend. That’s the righteous thing to do. Even when your friend has hurt you, you will love them. That’s what God does and that’s the lead we follow. Sometimes our friend may make wrong choices. They may hurt others, including you. They may let others down. They may make some selfish choices. The righteous friend will still love. Even when he is out in the far country, the righteous friend loves. When he returns, the righteous friend leads the way in forgiving and extending grace. That’s the call of love. That’s what friends do.

3. He will be honest, open and sharing with his friend. James tells us to confess our sins one to another. James didn’t have in mind someone standing before the congregation and baring all. Rather, one on one, two friends, pouring their hearts out, trying to conquer sin in their life, reveal, confess and are honest with each other. This is hard to do. Few get to this sacred level. We fear what the other might think. We fear gossip. We fear our friendships being crushed. Helpful. Truthful. All masks removed. One soul pouring out to the other. Both seeking the Lord. Both wanting to be right with the Lord. Both wanting to do things better. Both trusting, loving and believing in each other. Righteousness leads, conquers and strengthens.

Real friends. Righteous friends. Friends that make us better with the Lord. Do you have such? Are you that kind of a friend to others? It’s a rare find to have such, but if you do, you treasure that friendship. You guard that friendship. You benefit from that friendship.

Bless be the ties that we have in Christ Jesus.

Roger