Jump Start # 1185

Psalms 137:1 “By the rivers of Babylon, there we sat down and wept, when we remembered Zion.”

  Today is a sad anniversary for our country. 9-11. Lives were changed and many lives lost that day and since that time in pursuing wicked men who are bent on our destruction. Painful memories are the hardest to deal with. We love the happy memories. The weddings…the births…the birthday parties…the holidays…baptisms…awesome worship services. We take photos of those events because we do not want to forget. It’s the painful ones that we’d like to forget but they hang around and seem to haunt us.

The memory of a car accident…the memory of hateful words spoken to you…the memory of a sudden death…the memory of a funeral…the memory of a divorce—those moments have shaped us and affected us. The tears, the heartache, the pain, the hurt—it doesn’t take much to bring back those painful memories. You can be having a pretty good day and a certain song comes on the radio and that’s all it takes to bring back the thoughts and bring on the tears. My mom has been gone for 19 years. The other day I was in a store and saw a woman from the back. She looked like mom. About the same size, hair color, even the way she walked. I knew it wasn’t but it sure brought back memories. I wished it was.

Our verse today is one of the last Psalms. It was written during the Babylonian captivity. Judah was in punishment for disobeying God. The words are the thoughts of the faithful. They remembered Zion or Jerusalem. They were away from the Temple. They were captives in a foreign land. It brought tears to their eyes.

How does a person deal with the painful memories that will not go away? Some have been crippled by those experiences and life all but stopped for them. It may be time for some professional help in those cases. For some, those events changed their lives. The death of a mate has forced them to make some painful changes, possibly moving from a home that they no longer can take care of or afford. It may have resulted in a family being split up by divorce and now you only get to see the kids every other weekend. It may be that your company folded and you haven’t been able to find a job. It seems the birds are singing and the sun is shining for everyone else, but those painful changes and memories have truly affected you in a great way.

One thing I would suggest is not to keep dwelling upon the pain. It will be there, but we can make it worse. It’s like when a person is dating and the other person breaks up with them. Playing those sad songs over and over doesn’t help. It just makes you feel worse. Paul’s words to the Philippians about focusing upon the things that are lovely, pure, right is powerful. Let your mind dwell upon these things is what Paul said. Reliving and replaying the hurt over and over only takes healing longer. It’s like picking off scabs. You have to allow things to heal and what you focus upon can really help.

Second, get around others, especially godly people. Isolation leads to depression. Elijah was hiding in a cave when God found him. He was told to get out of the cave and get around people. Caves are dark. They allow dark thoughts. Most of us have our own caves. It’s time to open the drapes and let the sunshine in the house and in our hearts. Get to worship. Get around others. This allows you to be useful, productive and helps you count your blessings. It’s ok to smile again. It’s ok to laugh again. It’s ok to find pleasurable things to do again. When Paul was depressed God did not remove the problems that caused that. He sent Titus. Titus was a breath of fresh air for Paul’s soul and spirit. Titus encouraged and helped Paul. You need a Titus in your life. The problems and pain will probably still be there, but a Titus can bring back the hope and joy in your life.

Third, your experiences, as painful as they are, can be powerful tools to help others. We are all on a journey. We are not at the same location. Some are ahead of us and others are behind us. Look to those ahead of your for encouragement and advice. Look behind you to offer a helping hand to those who are hurting. The fellowship of others is a great help. What you have learned, good and bad, can be shared with others. It helps talking to someone who has walked the same path that you have. No one understands the pain a parent goes through who has buried a child more than another parent who has done the same. The rest of us really do not know what you feel. Be there for one another.

Finally, remember that God is still on the throne. He’s been there all this time. He was on the throne when the planes flew into the twin towers on 9-11. He was on the throne when bombs fell upon Pearl Harbor. He was on the throne when Judah was taken to Babylon. He was on the throne when His beloved Son was put to death on the Cross of Calvary. God knows. He sees our tears and knows our hearts. Our thoughts could turn to why didn’t He do something? Maybe He did and we don’t understand it on this side of eternity. We know He still loves us and always has. We know that He wants the best for us, and that best is for us to have a relationship with Him and walk with His Son to Heaven. He has never promised rainbows and sunshine each day. He has been faithful to us. There has been blessings since our tragedy. We may have a hard time seeing them, but they are there. He’s not finished with us. There is a work to do and there is a life to live. There are people that need us and are counting upon us. We need to be God’s hands and feet. He wants us to continue on with Him. The pain we experienced isn’t an indication of His displeasure. Suffering, hardships and hard times are some of the best classroom learning experiences God has. We see things in the dark that we never see in the daytime. We tend to lean more upon God, pray more, think more spiritually when we are going through the valleys of life. We love the mountain top experiences, but often, to get to the mountain tops, one must travel through the dark valleys first.

Prayer helps. Fellowship helps. Reading God’s word, especially the Psalms, helps. It’s ok to cry. It’s ok to reflect. But don’t shut the Titus’ out of your life who are Heaven sent to help you. They love you and want to encourage you.

Painful memories—we all have them. May God help us with them.

Roger