08

Jump Start # 1097

Posted on May 8, 2014 by Jump Starts Daily in Jump Starts Daily | Tagged | Leave a comment

Jump Start # 1097

Matthew 5:8 “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.”

  One of the greatest fears parents have while their children are dating is purity. Sexual purity seems to be a thing of the past with this constant unashamed exposure to nudity in our times. The music videos, the movies, the shows on TV, the commercials, the ads in magazines are a constant bombardment of indecent, immoral and impure images. Our kids grow up and are influenced by these things. Their friends see more of it and they influence our kids. More than 95% of dating couples engage in sexual intercourse before marriage. Nearly everyone! One of the current items selling on internet auction sites is positive pregnancy tests. Single women are buying these from others to “trap” their boyfriends and get them to make a commitment to marriage. There would be no “trapping” if there was no sex taking place before marriage. Parents need to wake up and see what is going on. They need to be frank in talking with their kids. This is serious and we must be serious about this.

 

Long ago, the Psalmist asked the question, “How can a young man keep his ways pure?” The answer, given in the text, “by the word of God.” That’s always the answer. Faith building, God trusting, being aware of the prowling Satan are essential to surviving.

 

Consider some thoughts:

 

  • Understand how passion works. The attraction of a man and woman is natural. God wired us that way. The feelings between a man and a woman are like a roadway. They lead from one step to the next. Holding hands leads to kissing. Kissing leads to deep kissing. Deep kissing leads to touching. Touching leads to…well, you get the idea. That is natural and the way it is supposed to be. However, God has placed a “No Trespassing Sign” around some of that passion. It is saved for marriage. Marriage is the key that opens the gate for all passion. It’s right in marriage. It’s wrong when it’s not in marriage. Before marriage, it’s climbing over the “No Trespassing” fence. You are in an area that is off limits and you do not belong there. It’s wrong. The passion can be so strong that reason and judgment is tossed aside for the moment. Consequences are not considered. The joy of the moment is all that matters. Parents understand this. Kids don’t. They have trouble seeing these things.  Parents who are embarrassed to talk about these things will discover that their kids are not. They have heard, read, seen much more than parents realized.

 

 

  • Keep up on what the kids are doing on tablets and computers. Internet behind closed doors is a danger zone. Porn is killing marriages. The porn problems didn’t start after marriage. It started long before. Marriage doesn’t stop the porn addiction. Again, this is a parenting issue. Leaving a loaded gun in the house around small kids is dumb. Leaving teenagers to surf the web without safeguards is dumb. Watching porn leads to climbing the ‘No Trespassing’ fences.

 

  • This passion is set off very easily, especially in guys. God wired men to be visual. This is why more ads, commercials, websites, movie trailers show women immodestly dressed. It triggers the passion in men. I once had a red Grand Am. It was a cool car for me. I was at a stop light when a red Ferrari pulled up along side of me. It was the reddest car I had ever seen. Some young hot shot guy was driving. He looked at me and with a smirk on his face. That fried my bacon. I cranked up my radio and looked at him. He cranked up the Ferrari radio. It was so loud I couldn’t hear. I looked at him and revved my Grand Am. He looked at me and revved the Ferrari. My car shook. I looked at him and then looked at the light. He did the same thing. The light turned green and I never saw Mr. Ferrari again. Ferraris are made to run. Passion is like that. It doesn’t take much to get it going. Parents need to know this. Dads need to have the A-game on when it comes to their daughters. What they wear revs the engine in their dates. Sitting close. The way they smell. Showing too much skin. The body language. All that gets the engine going and it wants to run. There is a place for that, it’s marriage. Revving those engines leads to trouble. Naïve girls flirting too much do not understand this. Dads must step in and explain. Parenting. It’s not easy. Often times you as the parent must be the bad guy. You must veto things because you know what happens when young hormones get racing. This is why too much time alone is not good. Public places with others is good.

 

  • It would help to have some serious Bible classes about purity in dating. Ask the shepherds of your congregation to conduct some classes. This is often best done by dividing the teen boys and girls in separate classes. Girls need to understand that they can be fashionable yet modest. Proms and other special occasions are not a pass to wear immodest clothing. Summer time is not a pass to be indecent. Vacations are not a pass to be indecent. Learning to be modest will not come from the stores. This comes from the Bible. It can be done. It is being done. Parents must lead the way when shopping. Churches have too long been so generic on this topic of passion, sex and modesty, that nothing is truly said. Too many are embarrassed to say anything, so they don’t. Then everyone is shocked to see the young people falling off the cart and messing up morally when nothing positive, helpful and instructional was ever taught. It’s not the church’s fault. This is an issue for the home. But the church can reinforce and help. Solid, powerful and plain teaching and preaching on these things need to be regular and often. Satan is not backing down. Satan is vulgar and rude in this area. The strongest man in the Bible, Samson, had problems with passion and sexuality. The smartest man in the Bible, Solomon, had problems with passion and sexuality. The man after God’s heart, David, had problems with passion and sexuality. Joseph, the most Christ like person in the O.T., had to deal with passion and sexuality. Paul’s words are FLEE. Flee youthful lusts. Flee fornication. How? When? Those are topics to discuss, talk about and understand.

 

  • Parents need to keep up with what is going on. Dads need to talk to sons and moms to daughters. They need to know what to do. They need to be guided. Just letting them go out on a date with no instruction advice, wisdom, is asking for trouble. Dating people who have no problems climbing over God’s no trespassing fence is asking for trouble. Dating people who ridicule the concerns of parents is asking for trouble. Date the right people. But that alone is not enough. Guide them, parents. Talk to them, parents.

 

It’s not easy being a parent. This purity part is especially hard. There are books about this subject. Get them. Read them. Talk to other parents. Talk to the parents that your child is dating. Team up and work together to help them remain pure. Purity begins on the inside. It’s the mind not the body where all of this begins. Keeping the mind pure, helps keep the body pure. What you feed that mind. What you do with impure thoughts. How you keep from red-lining that engine inside of you. Those are the things that parents need to think about, talk about, pray about and discuss with their kids.

 

Let them know that you are trying to help them. You want them to win at life. You want them to please the Lord.

 

Create in me a clean heart is a prayer from Psalms and a prayer for today!

 

Roger

 

07

Jump Start # 1096

Posted on May 7, 2014 by Jump Starts Daily in Jump Starts Daily | Tagged | Leave a comment

Jump Start # 1096

2 Timothy 2:22 “Now flee youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.”

 

Parents involved and active in helping their children in the dating process is what we are looking at this week. Some of the most stressful times in families comes right here. The child wants to date someone that the parent is uncomfortable with. The child wants to push the limits on how early to date or they see nothing wrong with dating someone much older than they are. Parents see red flags. Parents need to guide the child.

 

One of the big issues with dating, is who the child goes out with. Dating is much more than simply going out for some social fun. Dating is a journey that leads to love and then the emotions, reasons and common sense get all jumbled up and it’s hard to see clearly. Frogs do not become princes. That’s only true in fairy tales. Frogs remain frogs in real life. Also, from the pool of people that one dates, eventually comes the person that they will marry. So if their dating experience is with frogs and dogs, that is typically who they will marry. That is one of the parents greatest fears.

 

Our verse today is heavily emphasized on the front expressions, ‘flee youthful lusts.’ I want to consider the word ‘with’ in this passage. Flee youthful lusts. Yes. Pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace. Yes. However, do that pursuing WITH those who call upon the Lord from a pure heart. Sincere in faith. Not playing the game. Not a hypocrite. Not saying all the right things but not believing at the core of their heart. It is the “With those,” that parents need to help out with.

 

There are two common things that many kids face in congregations today. First, there is no one their age. There are kids older and younger, but no one their age. Or, they have grown up going to church with the kids that are their age and they’d rather swallow an egg as to go out with “those” people. There is no attraction, chemistry, or liking of the kids that they grow up with. So, the child starts dating people from school. This is where the problems begin. Parents do not know these kids at school. They do not know the parents of these people, the background, and especially question if the person calls upon the Lord from a pure heart. The child will beg the parent to give them a chance. The child will plead that the person is a good person. They will say, ‘you do not know them as I do.’ Some of the kids may be religious, some may not. We know all too well from our own experiences, that a lot of the trouble we got into was from friends who introduced us to things we should do, dared us to do the foolish and prompted us to do things that we never would on our own. Yes, we remember. We want to keep our kids safe from those influences.

 

What’s a parent to do? What if there is no one within the congregation that your child wants to date? Then as a parent, you broaden the circle and find more people that fit into that category of “with those.” Visit other congregations. Try some summer camps that are run by brethren. Get to know the child’s friends from school. Have your home be the place where kids gather. This takes some doing on the parents part. There are things that kids want to do. Just sitting around talking gets old for them. Invest in fun things that kids like to do. Keep the pantry stocked with snacks. Kids love to eat. Give them space but let your presence be known. Bedrooms are off limits. Too much alone time is not good. Too late at night is not good. Do some family things together. Get the person helping out around the house. You are noticing character and the kind of person he is. Definitely invite to church services. As a parent, don’t try to dress, talk or act like you are 16. You are not. You will come across as being very strange and you’ll embarrass your child to the point that she will not want to bring her date around. You are a parent, act like a parent.

 

The house rules need to be enforced. Language, respect and attitude must be right. Don’t toss a person out for one slip. Just remind him that we don’t use those words. If it continues, then deal with it.

 

Through this process, you are seeing things. Red flags need to be dealt with. There must be discussions with your child about what is going on and what you notice. You, as a parent are helping your child.

 

Early teen dating and later dating is not the same. Some principles developed in the early part will help with the later part. Later dating is much more serious. A future mate is in the back of their mind. They are more selective about who they go out with. This is the time to remind your child, that just as they are looking at someone, the other person is looking at them. It’s time for them to step up their game. Sloppy, lazy, attitudes, no goals, no ambition is not top shelf material. If they want a prince then they must be a princess. That involves more than having golden hair, it means that they have something attractive about their character, attitude, ambition and goals as well. This is the time that faith must be discussed. Religious differences can wreck a marriage. Someone who shows no interest in the God that you love, is problematic. This is where years of lessons come to the front. This is a head and heart issue. This is where you must shine as a parent. It’s hard. Compromising faith and convictions never leads to conversion. It leads to a weak Christian.

 

You want your child to marry someone that will help them go to Heaven. You want them to marry someone who will stand with God. You want them to marry someone who will help raise a godly family. Worship, prayers and spiritual growth are essential to pleasing the Lord. You want your child to experience that and to be engaged in God’s kingdom.

 

I know so many young couples that are doing that very thing. They have chosen godly people to date and marry and now they are on course to raising godly families. Sure they have stress, trials and everything that comes with being a young couple. Money is tight. Jobs are stressful. But with God and each other, worshipping weekly, they’ll be fine. They are establishing the right building blocks for a solid foundation. They have been taught well by godly parents. There were moments, but they got through that and today, they are doing well.

 

I can say this, because I have been there with my kids. Four kids. At one point I had four teenagers. What were we thinking! Three of the four are married. The last is now engaged. Everyone is a strong Christian. Everyone is busy in the congregations they attend. The dating process wasn’t always smooth nor without some differences.

 

The story doesn’t always end ‘happily ever after.’ There have been Christians who have married Christians only to have tears of broken vows and broken dreams. Someone didn’t keep the pure heart with the Lord. It’s a journey that each person must choose to stay on.

 

Parents, help your child to find the “with those” that Paul mentioned in our verse today. Don’t settle for, ‘there isn’t anyone.’ There is. You just have to find them.

 

Roger

 

06

Jump Start # 1095

Posted on May 6, 2014 by Jump Starts Daily in Jump Starts Daily | Tagged | Leave a comment

Jump Start # 1095

 

Proverbs 31:1 “The words of King Lemuel, the oracle which his mother taught him…”

 

Yesterday we looked at what King Lemuel’s mother advised him about finding an excellent wife. Mom wanted her son to find someone that would help him, that he could trust, a person of quality and character. Few things in life bring more misery than being stuck in a terrible marriage. Things can stink at work, but home can be a refuge, if things are the way God wants them to be. The same is true with things down at the church house. Home can be a relief from tension, problems and a source of love and peace. That is, when home is as it ought to be. When it’s not, there doesn’t seem to be any relief, any where. It seems that some don’t do well with the “picking” process. They marry trouble and have trouble the entire time the relationship lasts. Most often, that marriage ends ugly. Then the person turns around and picks another person who has just as much baggage, conflicts and struggles as the first one. This cycle repeats itself over and over.

 

One of the roles of parents is to help their children find quality people to date and marry. Quality, meaning the inside. Quality meaning character. Quality meaning someone who is responsible, thoughtful, honest, and spiritual. These discussions do not start when your teenager is heading out the door for a date. It must start long before that. The type of friends that they choose is a starting place. Later, instructions about the value of spiritual things is important. The man is supposed to be the spiritual leader in the home. Some guys are not leaders at all, let alone spiritually. Some do not have their spiritual radar even turned on. Such a guy may be kind, sweet and makes a person feel special, but where this will lead to, unless he becomes interested spiritually, is you getting the kids ready for church and he stays home in bed. That gets old fast.

 

There have been many who have been converted by their spouse. It started with showing some interests in God. The dating process ought to be an eye opener. You are seeing what the person is like. Far too many marry what they hope will happen instead of what is reality. They marry, hoping he’ll stop his drinking. They marry, with the hope that he will start going to church services with her. He doesn’t while they date. She hopes he will once they marry. Probably won’t. Dating is showing the best behavior. What you see is what you get. Don’t marry an expectation, a promise, or a hope. Marry what you see. If he won’t go to church now, while dating, why will he once he’s married? Red flags need to be flying about this.

 

But along before a person gets to that point, mom and dad should have been talking about the value of marrying a spiritual giant who will help you get to Heaven. That’s one of the roles of the husband. The head doesn’t mean he gets first dibs on the remote, nor that he gets to bark orders and the rest of the family runs to serve him. Head means direction. Our bodies do not do anything without our head telling it to. Head of the house is about direction, leadership and involvement. God is interested in the spiritual wellbeing of the family. God wants us to be living towards His glory and honor. God wants us involved in His kingdom and living according to His word. Home leadership means seeing that the family is moving that direction. Honesty, values, kindness, prayers, and moving toward righteous living is what this involves. Home leadership means taking a tough stance. Certain movies are off limits. Certain friends are off limits. Dad’s job is to see that the girls are modest, even if they are in a wedding or going to the prom. The family sails under the flag of Christ. That’s what the head of the house means. We certainly miss that too often. Dad has the veto on things because his concern is spiritual. Now, what happens when dad has zero spiritual interest? What happens when dad isn’t walking with Christ? Will he care what shows, what friends, what clothing the family is involved in? He may spend family time glued to the TV, zoned out to what is happening in the family and the bulk of moral training falls to mom. There are many absentee fathers who happen to live in the same house with the rest of the family but they don’t want to be bothered, they don’t want any hassles, they don’t want to have their shows interrupted. They are out of touch and so busy being selfish that the family is floundering with no one at the helm. I see such moms. They are tired and stretched thin. They want help from their husbands but can’t get it. These men are not interested in character, moral training or God. The family is dying spiritually. Far too many times I have been told, ‘I love him, but…” Some how they didn’t see this in dating. Some how they missed something. People change. Some who were not interested, become interested. Others, who seem to have it all together, fall off the map. Those things happen. But what about a person who in the dating process shows no interests or love for the Lord? Why continue with such a person? Their lack of concern spiritually, means that they will not care what God says about divorce. They will not step up to do what they ought to as a husband and leader. Such a relationship is inviting years of heartache.

 

This is why parents must be involved in helping the kids to see the value of who to pick for friends, who to date, and later, who to marry. For years, it was preached, marry a Christian. Many did. Many thought that was all that was necessary. They found out that the person they married wasn’t interested in church, God or such things. They came, filled a pew and that was about it. They never got involved. They showed no interest. They were a Christian, but barely. Look at how a person worships. Do they love the Lord and talk about spiritual things outside the church building? Do they have a concept of what God wants? Are they interested in the congregation and the people? Do they volunteer to help out where they can? Those are signs. They are the beginning things to look for.

 

The red flags that ought to cause a person to slow down, reconsider and think things out, must happen before rings are purchased and a wedding is being planned. By then, the heart no longer listens to the head. They are emotionally engaged and nothing will turn them. Again, this is why parents must be on top of things and teaching their kids what to do long before the dating gets too serious.

 

Parenting isn’t for cowards. It doesn’t stop once the kids can dress themselves. Some of the hardest lessons involve finance, dating and marriage. It helps the kids to see a living example of what is right, good and wholesome at home. Kids that witness dysfunctional marriages see that as the example. They find dysfunctional people to marry and the dysfunctional patterns are repeated generation after generation.

 

The oracle of King Lemuel’s mother was given to him long before he found his wife. She was guiding him. She was teaching him. It stuck. He remembered. He repeated this oracle from mom. This is what mom taught. Mom was wanting someone of quality for her son.

 

Time to get busy parents. Are your kids dating? Get talking. Are they too young to date. Great! Get talking. Remind them. Teach them. Show them. Help them. Answer their tough questions. What kind of person would you pick out for your child’s life long mate? Work that direction. That’s your goal.

 

Roger

 

05

Jump Start #1094

Posted on May 5, 2014 by Jump Starts Daily in Jump Starts Daily | Tagged | Leave a comment

Jump Start # 1094

Proverbs 31:24 “Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future.”

  Our verse today comes from the description of the worthy woman. It’s a mother’s advice to her grown son about the type of woman he ought to marry. Moms ought to still give their sons such advice. It’s easy to be fooled by looks. The package may look good on the outside, but too often there is nothing on the inside, especially spiritually. The dating process is a time to see if a couple like each other, can get along with one another, and have the same values, goals and thinking. Dating exposes priorities and likes and dislikes. Dating reveals how a person acts under different circumstances. It shows whether they respect laws, how they treat their family, whether they are selfish, how they handle finances and debt and above all, what they think about the Lord. No single factor can help or hurt a person’s spiritual journey as much as the person they are married to. Your mate can keep you on track spiritually. There will be times for prayers together, worship together and discussions about the Bible together. Your mate can help shape your character into a godly person. Being on the same page spiritually is vital in a family. Issues such as modesty, entertainment, discipline of children, finances, hospitality, engagement in the Lord’s work will come up often in a family. If a couple do not see eye to eye on these things, there will be disappointment, stress and much too often, the unraveling of a relationship. Dating is more than going out and simply having fun. It’s about seeing if there is a future together. Too much alone time and too much affection can cloud one’s reasoning, and can lead to crossing lines of intimacy that God intended only for married people. Stats reveal that MOST dating couples have sexual relations before marriage. The numbers are huge. This is disappointing. There is nothing more special and more sacred than yourself.

 

Our verse is a mother’s advice to her son. Her son happened to be a king. Kings don’t know everything. Kings still need a mother. The woman described by this mom was a person of decency, character, quality and industry. She didn’t have a lazy bone. She wasn’t a drama queen. She wasn’t into her self. She was thoughtful of others. She wasn’t a complainer, a whiner, or one who played the victim. She got up early and got about things. She was trustworthy and kind. This is especially interesting, because the woman who married the king would become the queen. She certainly wasn’t described like most queens. She was involved, engaged, and helpful to others. The world didn’t revolve around her.

 

The expression in our verse indicates her optimism and how she saw the future. The passage states, “she smiles at the future.” What a great line. Most of us can smile at the past. Get out the old photo albums, check out facebook on “throw back Thursdays” and we laugh, smile and enjoy looking at the past. Most can smile at the present. Get some friends together and we can share each other’s company. The woman in our passage smiled at the FUTURE. That’s hard to do. We don’t know the future. Things could turn tough. The economy…the wellbeing of nation…politics…health…jobs…the future holds so many unknowns. The future can be scary. The future is uncertain. How could this woman smile at the future? She had faith and trust in the Lord. No matter what happened, the Lord was upon the throne. God was watching over.

 

The battles of the Old Testament often resulted in thousands being killed in one day. We can’t grasp that. Our history will have thousands killed in an entire, several year, war, not one day. Disease was deadly back when Proverbs was written. Many women never survived childbirth. Many babies never saw their first birthday. Life was more survival than anything else. It was tough. Yet, she smiled at the future.

 

Just think what such a spirit would bring to a family. Someone that was pleasant and not gloomy. Someone that saw the sunshine above the clouds. Someone who didn’t dwell on problems. Someone who learned to let the past go and to live with peace and joy. Someone who practiced forgiveness. The spirit of a family would be refreshed by such a person. This is who mom wanted her son to look for. Hopeful, delightful, kind, and seeing the future with great enthusiasm. She smiled at the future.

 

What mom didn’t reveal and obviously didn’t matter was what she looked like, how rich her daddy was, what kind of stuff she owned, or how important she was. Those things will get you in trouble. Those things will too often lead to misery down the road. Those are superficial things that often hide a heart that is wicked, sour, miserable, and defeating. Stay away from that kind of person. They need to get their act together and figure out what they are doing on planet earth before they engage in a relationship with others.

 

Smiling at the future. Can you do that? Can you smile at this week or do you groan because of all the things that must be done? Can you smile at this month? Can you smile at this year? We don’t know what’s going to happen, but we know the Lord and that makes all the difference.

 

I’ve noticed something about smiles. When someone smiles at you, it’s hard not to smile back. Smiles are that way. They are infectious. It’s hard to resist the smiles of a child. Few things are more beautiful than smiling children. Adults frown too much. We’d do well to smile a bit more and spread some sunshine to others. Try it today. When you are out and about, trying smiling. Smile at your meeting you have. Smile at the clerk at the store. Smile at the doctor’s office. When you come home, try smiling to the family. Notice how your smile affects others. It changes the temperature of the room and of hearts.

 

She smiled…

 

Roger

 

02

Jump Start # 1093

Posted on May 2, 2014 by Jump Starts Daily in Jump Starts Daily | Tagged | Leave a comment

Jump Start # 1093

Matthew 18:27 “And the lord of that slave felt compassion and released him and forgave him the debt.”

  We’ve been looking at the subject of forgiveness the past few days. Forgiveness is hard. Forgiveness is a choice. Forgiveness is the most Christ-like characteristic that we can imitate. One other thought that needs to be expressed is that forgiveness involves grace. It has to. If a debt is paid, then there is no forgiveness necessary. Nothing more is owed. When you pay off a car loan, the lender has not given you any grace. You worked and paid what was owed in full. The debt is canceled and you owe nothing. There was no forgiveness in that transaction.

 

Our passage today comes from a setting about forgiveness. Jesus was asked by Peter how many times someone ought to forgive another. Peter suggested up to seven times. That number was more than the Jews required and it seemed extreme. Peter probably thought that he was going to get a gold star that day for suggesting that huge number. Jesus didn’t pass out any gold stars. He raised the number to seven times seventy. Then Jesus emphasized the forgiveness principle by telling a parable of two different men who owed a debt. One man owed it to his master. The other owed it to a fellow servant. The first man owed a huge amount, 10,000 talents. That number is huge. If you have 10,000 of anything, that’s a lot. If you have 10,000 baseball cards in your collection, that’s a huge collection. If you have 10,000 CD’s, you have more than the record stores. 10,000 books would be a vast library. This man owed 10,000 talents.

 

How much is that? Is it like $10,000? No. It’s much more. A common servant, which he was, earned a denarius a day. That comes from Matthew 20 and the laborers in the vineyard. The first man chosen worked twelve hours, all day, and received one denarius. That was the agreed settlement prior to working.

 

It took 600 denarius to make one talent. That’s 600 days of work. That’s two years. This man owed 10,000 talents. 10,000 x 600 comes out to 6 million denarius or 6 million days of work. Figure out how many years that would take to pay off. This debt shows the magnitude of what sin is. Sin is more than having an off day, more than a mistake, more than not being yourself. Sin is a debt that must be paid if you want to go to Heaven. You owe God 6 million days of work!

 

This slave fell to the ground and begged the master to be patient with him. That’s funny. Patient? Patient for 6 million days? Whose he kidding. He can’t live long enough nor can the master. This debt isn’t going to be paid. It’s impossible to pay. That’s where sin has put us. We are in an impossible situation.

 

Our verse shows what happens. The master, moved by compassion, forgave and released the debt owed. That’s forgiveness. That’s grace. The servant didn’t start paying it back. The servant didn’t sell stuff to get the process rolling. He paid nothing. The master lost 6 million days worth of work. The master was owed a lot of money. It cost the master. Why did he do it? Grace. Love. Compassion. Did he have to? No. Was it that there were no other options? Sure there were. He could have worked that man until he dropped. He didn’t. He could have imprisoned him. He didn’t. He could have sold him as a slave. He didn’t. He received not one single payment. The entire 10,000 talent note was written off.

 

Grace is what fuels forgiveness. Without grace, there is no forgiveness. Grace is what’s hard to embrace and understand. Some on one hand believe that grace is a free ride. Grace means sitting back and enjoying the ride. If that were true, then all would be saved and none would be lost. That’s not the Biblical message. On the other hand, some give lip service to grace but expect perfection, especially from others. Miss a step and some have you destined for the fires of hell.

 

Grace doesn’t make sense. When we try to figure it out, we can’t. Grace is not getting off on good behavior, but bad behavior. Romans 5:8 reminds us that Christ died WHILE we were yet sinners. Not after were quit sinning. Not after we promised to never, ever do it again. Not after we started paying the debt back. WHILE sinners, Christ died for us.

 

Grace is God’s choice and God’s terms. Without grace, there can be no forgiveness. Grace is releasing the debt. Grace is saying it is all taken care of. Grace and forgiveness go together. When we say, “I’ll forgive you, but I’ll never forget it,” we haven’t really forgiven. When we demand, “I’ll forgive, but you owe me an apology,” then we haven’t really forgiven. To release the debt means NOTHING is owed. NOTHING. Forgiveness is not the same as restored trust or reconciliation of broken relationships. Forgiveness is the first step towards that.

 

Grace is based upon love and compassion. Grace costs. Grace isn’t fair. Grace isn’t deserved. Grace doesn’t make much sense. We love, ‘you do the crime, you do the time.’ That’s not the language of grace.

 

  • The servant in this passage was given grace and then forgiveness by his master.

 

  • The prodigal son was given grace and then forgiveness by his father. The ring, sandals, robe and celebration meal all were signs that he was not a slave, but a son. He was forgiven. Did he pay back the money he wasted? No. Why was he accepted back? Grace, love and forgiveness. It didn’t make sense to his older brother who remained outside angry. Grace can do that. It doesn’t make sense. Those who want blood and a beating for punishment will explode because of grace and forgiveness. They want a trial period. They want probation. Grace is neither. Grace is pardon, not probation.

 

  • The woman caught in the act of adultery and thrown at Jesus’ feet in the temple was extended grace and forgiveness by Jesus. She was guilty. He knew that. She had trashed God’s commands. He knew that. She was also being used by the Pharisees to trap Jesus. He knew that, as well. So He released her. He gave her a second chance. She never begged for mercy. She never promised to be a good girl after that. Based on compassion, fueled by grace, Jesus forgave her.

 

  • Jonah was given a second chance. Compassion, grace and forgiveness—that’s what leads to those choices.

 

  • Compassion, grace and forgiveness is extended to those who believe in Christ. God doesn’t save us because He can’t bear to part with us. He doesn’t save us because we are top shelf material. We owe. We are in massive debt to God. We have trashed His laws and ignored His ways. Why then save us? Compassion, grace and forgiveness.

 

It is those same three components that God expects from His people. We are to be a people of compassion, grace and forgiveness. When hurt, we forgive. We don’t squeeze every ounce out of a person and then forgive. That’s not what we find in our Bibles. This doesn’t seem fair. That’s right. It’s not easy. That’s right. It means they got away with things. Right. Shouldn’t they at least pay some back? Not if they are forgiven by you. Forgiving also means that you let it go. You don’t tell others. You don’t remind the offender. You don’t keep picking the scab on the wound. You let it heal. You let it go. You have released it.

 

Forgiveness is hard. We’d rather pound someone’s head. That makes us feel good and just. That’ not God’s way. The lack of forgiveness is killing families, congregations, and our relationship with the Lord. We live with bitterness because we cannot forgive. We have ruined relationships because we cannot forgive.

 

Give some thoughts to this mini series on forgiveness. Print these out and chew on them for a while. Get busy being like Jesus. Surrender the ill feelings. Forgiveness is a choice. It must be YOUR choice. Forgiveness is hard, but not impossible.

 

Roger