15

Jump Start # 1102

Posted on May 15, 2014 by Jump Starts Daily in Jump Starts Daily | Tagged | Leave a comment

Jump Start # 1102

Ezra 4:4-5 “Then the people of the land discouraged the people of Judah, and frightened them from building, and hired counselors against them to frustrate their counsel all the days of Cyrus king of Persia, even until the reign of Darius king of Persia.”

  Some people are just mean and against anything good and right. That’s true today and it’s been that way for a long, long time. Our verse comes near the end of the Old Testament. The united nation of Israel under David’s reign had divided into Israel and Judah. Israel, through the leadership of twenty pitiful kings, continue to march away from God and further into idolatry. God had enough and allowed the Assyrians to take them away. Judah was following the same way. Because of God’s promise to Abraham and David, some of Judah would be spared. The nation was captured by the Babylonians and most were taken away. The city of Jerusalem was destroyed and the temple ransacked. After seventy years and a change of world power, Judah was allowed to return. The city was rebuilt. Then came the task of rebuilding the temple. This is where our verse today comes from. The governor of Judah, Zerubbabel, led the people of God into laying the foundation for the new temple. It was smaller than the original. Some wept. But with great fan fare and ceremony they went about the task of getting things started. Then comes our verse.

 

It seems whenever a good project begins, the thoughts of our verse can be found. The people in the area, those not taken to Babylon, first wanted to be part of this building project. Zerubbabel would have no part in that. They, in retaliation, try to stop the temple project. Our verse uses three key words. These words are the death to any idea and hope. They DISCOURAGED, FRIGHTENED, and FRUSTRATED the people.

 

They weren’t through. They wrote letters accusing the people of God of all kinds of fabricated lies to further halt the temple plans. The last verse of Ezra four states, “Then work on the house of God in Jerusalem ceased…”. The enemies succeed. Using threats, lies and fear, they stopped the people of God. The next chapter shows how God’s leaders ought to handle error and rally the people to work and finish what they started. It’s a good study.

 

God’s people have to recognize that there are those who want to see them fail. There are evil people who have no desire in seeing God’s kingdom prosper. They will use everything they can to discourage, frighten and stop the work of God. They will accuse. They will spread lies. They will write erroneous letters. They will spread rumors.

 

The arrogance of wicked people often silences God’s people. Get a loud, angry atheistic college professor ranting about the evils of the Bible in a class that has nothing to do with literature, Bible or theology, it’s his time to try to destroy what little faith there is in the students. Much too often he succeeds. Through bullying, fear and intimidation the student hides his faith and begins to doubt everything he was once taught.

 

Wicked people flaunt their sins. They are proud to be offensive and rude. They like to see the people of God run in fear. They will continue their ways until the victory is theirs. The homosexual advocates have politicians hiding in fear. No one dare says anything lest they be accused of being a bigot and worse, homophobic. So, in fear, and in silence, they stand on the sidelines while liberal judges overturn the will of the people in democratic elections. Fear, intimidation and false accusations are allowing evil to grow. What a dumb idea it is to legalize pot. I’d expect that idea from a sixteen year old not adults who went to college. While the country is on an “anti-smoking” campaign, states are caving in to the hypocrisy of smoking marijuana. To stand up in opposition is to be attack with force and accused of all kinds of evil things. So silence, looking the other way, becomes the chosen route.

 

This is not a political article. It is everything about faith, conviction and the people of God. What happened in Ezra was about stopping the temple. Evil people will use fear and intimidation to stop God’s people. Too often they succeed. Like Peter, in Acts, we cannot stop speaking the things we have seen and heard. That must be our motto and driving spirit. We cannot stop doing right. Church buildings need to be built. The community needs to know about God’s people. Classes must be taught. Sermons must be preached. We cannot hold up, nor hide behind the closed doors of a building. Out in the community our voice and the Gospel message must be heard. Advertise anywhere and everywhere. Pass out literature. Use every form of media. And when challenged, answer back. When accused, don’t back down. Don’t get in the mud with evil people. Don’t forget the golden rule. However, likewise, do not hide in a corner, shaking in fear.

 

God is on our side. If God is for us, who can be against us? Greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world. Stand up, stand up for Jesus. God’s people must not be silent, tolerant nor hiding in fear. It begins by standing up to your family. When that dumb cousin spouts off a bunch of nonsense that he read on the internet, challenge him, kindly. Ask the tough questions. Defend your Lord and God. Then when the co-worker rants about things, speak out, kindly. Ask the tough questions. Throw the fast ball.

 

Study up. Know how to answer the arguments of evolution. It’s not that hard. Study up your Bible. Know the verses. Study up on people who faced challenges and stood with God. The three who refused to bow to Babylon’s idol. The faithful in Revelation. Ezra in our text today. Peter in Acts. Paul in Acts. Jesus before the mean Pharisees. The choice of silence is sometimes the choice of a coward and the choice of fear. Faith conquers fear.

 

You’ll quickly see two things about those who spout error. First, they are loud. They believe that thunder kills people. It doesn’t. Lightning does. Their arguments are shallow and few. Their power is in their arrogance and volume. Speak kindly and don’t raise your voice. Second, those who thrive in error, love a crowd. They like to put down people in front of others. Get them alone, one on one, and they don’t have much to say. There is no volume, there is no crowd. Now, where are the arguments? Now, where is the proof? It works. Get that nutty cousin off by himself and he’ll be talking in circles. Get that co-worker by himself and have a discussion. Things are different that way. Don’t fall into their trap. Don’t play their game. Don’t get in a shouting match. Get them one on one and with the Bible in hand, you’ll do fine.

 

Don’t live in fear of error. Know your God and walk by faith.

 

Roger

 

14

Jump Start # 1101

Posted on May 14, 2014 by Jump Starts Daily in Jump Starts Daily | Tagged | Leave a comment

Jump Start # 1101

Ephesians 5:15-16 “Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil.”

  Time—what a valuable thing time is. Yesterday I witnessed two opposite perspectives about time. I visited a man in jail. For him, time seems to stand still. The days are long and boring. We use the expression for one locked up, “doing time.” That’s exactly what was happening to him. He was doing time. Finding ways to be productive and meaningful are a struggle for one in jail.

 

Later in the day I had a few email conversations with a man who is struggling with cancer. His concern is also time. He wants more of it. He wants to be around to see his daughters grow and get married. Time is escaping rapidly for him.

 

Two different people—for one, time seems to stand still. For the other, time is flying by too fast. Why is it that way? It’s a matter of what one is doing and perspective. Most have experienced both sides of time. I recall when my kids were school age waiting to pick them up from some practice. It seemed to take forever for them to get to the car. God was working on my patience, I believe. Then, there are some very fun and happy occasions, such as a wedding in a family, that you put so much energy in, and once the day arrives, it just seems to go by so quickly. Some things seem to go fast and other things go slow. Sitting in the dentist chair may seem slow. Listening to sermons may seem slow. Watching a great movie, time flies.

 

The reality is that time moves the same. It’s the same for all of us. For the guy running down the aisle of the airport hurrying to make his flight, time moves the same for him, as it does the bored high school student sitting in study hall. Sitting in construction traffic, time moves the same, as it does when you are playing a game on your phone or tablet. Time moves the same for the President as it does the street bum. Time moves the same overseas as it does here in the states. Time moves the same today as it did in our grandparents days. Time moved the same for Abraham as it did for Jesus as it does for us.

 

The secret to time is found in our verse today, ’making the most of your time.’ That’s the secret. That’s the key. We waste time. We “do nothing.” Often, we do not optimize making the most. The Galatians were told, ’While you have opportunity, let us do good to all…’  While. After a while, you don’t have opportunity. Sometimes opportunity comes when we are not ready.

 

Make the most of your time. This is important for many reasons.

 

First, there is only so much time in our life. My cancer friend understands that probably better than I do.

 

Second, some things can only be done once. They must be done right. Teaching and training your kids is one of those things. You waste time trying to ’find yourself’ as some say, and the kids will grow. Nothing stops that. You can’t put them on hold for a couple of months or years, get your act together and then take up where you left them. Doesn’t work like a movie. I started watching a James Cagney gangster movie the other night. Fell asleep. I paused it and will catch up with it another evening. Works great with movies. Never works with kids. You can’t take a twenty-five year old and bring him home and start teaching him. Too late. Some things in life you get only one chance.

 

Third, age, ability impact things. There comes a time when you can’t do things you once did. It’s hard to realize that there are some things that a person will never do again. My dad always golfed. We have golfed many times together. Today, his golfing days are over. He may ride in a cart with us. He may putt a little, but physically, he just can’t do it. I see that and I realize the same will happen to me if I live long enough. The time will come when I can’t write Jump Starts. The time will come when I can no longer preach. I guess I’ll sit in a chair and stay out the window. I can’t imagine what I’ll do, but for now, it’s time to bust it and put all the energy I have into what I do. As Jesus says, ‘Night is coming when no man can work.’

 

So here are a few suggestions about making the most of your time:

 

  • Be organized. Too much time is wasted looking for stuff, going back and forth to stores, or getting side tracked. Be organized in your thoughts, in your plans for the day, in your work and in the things you need to accomplish your tasks. Preachers need to learn this. Too many are proud of messy offices, but in reality, too many can’t find a thing in all their stacks of stuff. File papers. Use computer programs to keep things organized. Put stuff back so you can find it the next time. Make the most of your time…are we hearing that?

 

  • Make a plan. What are you going to do today? What are you doing this week? The plan includes things at work, home and church house. Many do not read the Bible much because they don’t have a plan. I try to read three books a month. I set out what books I want to read and that’s my plan. Everyday I have set things I want to accomplish. Shepherd’s in the church would do well to be more organized. Have a list of members that they want to visit every week. In a short time, they are connecting with everyone. Bible class teachers must stay on target if they expect to finish the assigned class in a set quarter. Make a plan.

 

  • Find the best ways to do your work. Learn. Study from others. Ask questions. Become efficient and effective. Throw out old models that do not work for you.

 

  • Put thought into your day. This was my advice to the guy in jail and the cancer patient. They both had time concerns. They both wanted help. The answer to both, even though they wanted different things from time, was to put thought into it. For the man in jail, it’s finding ways to be busy and not bored. It’s using time to strengthen the soul and resolve from his mistakes. For the cancer patient, it’s realizing that everyone has just today. Make today the best you can. Put thought into what legacy you would leave your family. Put your energies into making things smooth for them when he’s gone. It’s enjoying every moment with his family.

 

Time. Make the most of it. When waiting on kids, pray. When stuck in traffic, call someone to cheer them up. Use your time. Make time your friend not your enemy. Staying up too late, starting the day tired and cranky ruins moments and misses opportunities. Be looking. Be watching. There are teaching moments every day. There are moments to shine the light every day. There are times to speak up and speak out every day. There are opportunities every day to impact your children.

 

There are times every day…make the most. Are you?

 

Roger

 

13

Jump Start # 1100

Posted on May 13, 2014 by Jump Starts Daily in Jump Starts Daily | Tagged | Leave a comment

Jump Start # 1100

Exodus 20:25 “If you make an altar of stone for Me, you shall not build it of cut stones, for if you wield your too on it you will profane it.”

 

Our verse today is very interesting. It follows the Ten Commandments. The Ten Commandments wasn’t all that God commanded. There were more. Our verse is one example of that. Altars were very important part of the worship to God. Cain and Abel had sacrifices upon altars. Noah built an altar after leaving the ark. God’s test of Abraham involved offering Isaac upon an altar. The tabernacle and later the temple used altars to burn the various sacrifices to God.

 

One would think that the attitude of the worshipper is all that is important. The Bible says otherwise. In Cain’s sacrifice, the wrong item was sacrificed. In Malachi’s day, inferior sacrifices were offered. And, here in our verse, even the construction of the altar mattered.

 

Stone altars were the most common. The fields provided plenty of stones. These stones were not to be cut. Natural stones, taken straight from the ground, was what God wanted. Now, this is where we find ourselves at the crossroads with God. Natural stones can be different colors. Natural stones are definitely different shapes. Cutting them, shaping them would make them look better. I live in a brick house. The bricks are basically all the same color and same size. I have a stone fireplace. The stones are shaped to be smooth and fit together. It looks wonderful. It is safe, there are no jagged edges sticking out. It looks like an expert put it together. If the stones were all different sizes and uncut and every shape, it would look like a weekend warrior who had no clue what he was doing built it. We like cut stones. They are appealing to the eye. In this area there are many homes built from what is called Bedford stone. Limestone blocks cut from Bedford, Indiana have been used to build many government buildings in Washington, D.C. There are many homes in this area that are build from the cut stones. Cut stones look nice.

 

For God’s altar, no cut stones. Why? Why does it matter? Cut stones look nicer. Cut stones fit together better. Cut stones gives someone a job. The sacrifices are the same. It’s what’s on the altar that matters? Right? God said no cut stones. He didn’t give reasons in this passage. He didn’t have to. The altar is for Him. It is His sacrifices that Israel was offering. God has a right to want things done the way He likes them.

 

A few years ago a book was published entitled, “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” It’s an ok book. It’s about not letting little things get to you. That book title is the philosophy many have when it comes to worship. The small stuff doesn’t matter. As long as God is praised, how you do it, and how you arrive at it, doesn’t matter. Really? Who thought that one up? Probably someone who wanted to use cut stones. They liked cut stones. They wanted cut stones. They studied the advantages of cut stones. They realized more people would be pleased with cut stones. They preached sermons on the value of cut stones. They introduced a cut stone altar as a trial run. It went well, and soon the cut stone progressive thinkers were off and running. I don’t know if that ever happened, especially that way, but it sure has with other things in worship. Folks just can’t be satisfied with the way God says things. They always have to tinker with change. They want to be different. Change the music in worship. Change the purpose of worship. Change the day of worship. Change the participants in worship. Change. Change. Change. Cut. Cut. Cut. God said, don’t cut the stones.

 

There are two things that drive so much of the spirit of change. First, is the thinking that if we like something then God does. We like rock ’n roll, so surly God does. We like casual, so God must. We like less doctrine in our preaching, so God does. We like cut stones, so God does. Really? He doesn’t. He said He didn’t like cut stones. He has revealed what he wants in music. He has shown that He wants reverence and a seriousness to our worship of Him. Jesus’ parables over and over illustrated that God wasn’t like people. In the Prodigal Son, the crowd, mostly Pharisees, would have stood with the elder brother. Angry, rejecting the prodigal and disappointed with the Father. Jesus used that to show them that God is so different than they are. They shun and God accepts. They stay out and God goes in. They run from and God runs toward. The prophet Isaiah said that God’s thoughts are higher than our thoughts. What we like in worship is no indication that God will. We can’t use our feelings as a measure of God’s approval. I had this discussion with a progressive thinker a while back. He was convinced that God would like contemporary songs with contemporary instruments because he liked it. He was a part-time musician and in a band so he just knew that God would love for him to display his talents by bringing his band to worship. His bottom line, I know God likes it because I like it. He was bold and aggressive. I asked him which God liked better Coke or Pepsi. He was drinking a Coke. I like Pepsi. Now, which one is God going to like the best. His answer was brilliant. He said, “How in the world am I supposed to know?” Exactly! Exactly, how in the world do you know that God wants your band in worship? Because you like it does not mean that God does. Remember cut stones?

 

Second, change is pushed and driven because people are convinced that it doesn’t matter. Some live by the notion that something is only wrong if someone is hurt. In pickup basketball there is an expression, “No blood, no foul,” meaning every little bump is not going to stop the game. Only something so obvious will be called a foul. If there is blood, then there is a foul. If no one is hurt, what’s the big deal. Why is cut stones wrong and uncut stones right? God said. It’s that simple. It’s a matter of trust and faith in God. We are not on the planning committee with God, ironing out the details of worship. God doesn’t need us nor want us on that committee. It has been decided long ago by God. We follow His blueprint the way He said it. Some changes actually do good. Some changes help people. Churches feeding homeless people put food in empty bellies. Churches that send teams overseas to improve water conditions and give medical supplies actually make lives better. Is that the measure of right and wrong? If good is done then it has to be right? What if more people worshipped cut stones than uncut stones? Wouldn’t that be a good thing? The outcome is not the measure of all things. I golfed with a guy once who had a wonderful saying about golf. He told me this after my shot hit a tree and bounced upon the green and went into the hole. He said, “It’s not how your drive, but how you arrive that matters.” I like that in golf. That thinking doesn’t work in worship. How you arrive does matter. God said.

 

So here we are…cut stones or uncut stones. That which looks good to us and that which God wants. What are we to do? Which will we follow, our hearts or His word? These simple things mark the huge divide in the religious community today. Few are interested in uncut stones. Uncut is traditional, old fashioned and simply not working in our times. The people want cut stones. Churches provide. They are more interested in pleasing the crowd than God. It seems odd to stay with uncut stones, but there are some of us who are doing just that. We like God’s ways. We are content with God’s ways. We are set on doing God’s things God’s way. The folks all around us are busy cutting stones. They paint the stones. They put bling-bling on the stones. The uncut stones don’t look like much next to these others. Yet we know what God said. We know what God wants. We stay with God.

 

Cut or uncut…which are you? Which one does God want you to be? Is it time to rethink things? Is it time to get back to God’s way of things? Can we help? It’s a matter of following what God said.

 

Roger

 

12

Jump Start # 1099

Posted on May 12, 2014 by Jump Starts Daily in Jump Starts Daily | Tagged | Leave a comment

Jump Start # 1099

Luke 1:8-9 “Now it happened that while he was performing his priestly service before God in the appointed order of his division, according to the custom of priestly office, he was chosen by lot to enter the temple of the Lord and burn incense.”

  Our verse today is about Zacharias, the father of John the Baptist. It was while he was in the temple serving God that an angel appeared and told him about the coming birth of John. There are two expressions in our verse that draws our attention. First, there was an “appointed order of his division.” During the days of David the priests were divided into groups or divisions. There were 24 divisions. The second interesting thought is “he was chosen by lot.” One of the duties of the high priest was to select which priest would serve and what they would do. There are estimates that by this time there were 18,000 priests. That is a long way from Aaron and his two sons who were the first priests.

 

With that many priests, it would not be unlikely that someone like Zacharias, got to serve in the temple ONCE in his entire life. There would be other duties and other functions, but nothing as special as going into the Temple. That may have happened only once in a lifetime.

 

Can you imagine how special that would be. I expect Elizabeth, his wife, was up early that morning, fixing him a special breakfast and making sure that all this garments were ready. The entire family would know that this is the day that Zacharias was going to the temple. This was a huge “Wow” event. He was going to serve the Lord in the Temple.

 

I wonder sometimes if today we have lost that “wow” affect in our worship. In a move to make folks comfortable and even connect with outsiders, our worship can come across as causal, even, unplanned. An article circulating recently about the “attire of ministers in mega churches” caught my eye. Gone are the suits. The ties are gone. Now it’s Hawaiian shirts, blue jeans and flip flops. Those leading worship are dressed that way and too often the audience is dressed even more casual, down to ‘jama pants.’ But the attire is just the surface. What’s missing is the majesty of worship and the awe of God. Songs leaders giving little thought and little practice to what they are leading the congregation, having to stop the song often and start over. Some even picking out a song as they walk to the pulpit to lead. Little thought, little preparation, little understanding how important what they are doing is. God deserves better. Worship demands our best. It’s not just the singing, it’s the overall attitude of worship. Folks consistently arriving late. We know things happen, but every time? Folks in an out of the auditorium, first to get a drink, then later, to go to the bathroom, and then once again for another drink. Are we that thirsty, or is it that we are bored? Has the presence of Almighty God lost His importance to us?  Long announcements, repeated at every gathering, set the tone of dry and dull services.

 

The solution to all of this is to give some thought to what we are doing. Before worship begins, gather all the men who are participating into a classroom. Make sure everyone is clear with what they are doing. Offer a prayer that God will be glorified and the congregation encouraged. This is the time to make sure the mics are working, not during the worship. This is the time to double check what songs are being led, to make sure the congregation knows them. This is the time to have the Bible marked so the reading is smooth and accurate. This is the time to make sure all the buttons are buttoned, zippers zipped, ties tied and everyone is ready to serve God.

 

Those that serve need to arrive early. They need to be ready.  I have seen too many times, people running around as services are beginning trying to fill the spots of those who are to serve because no one knows where some are. The spots are filled and then the one on the schedule rolls in two minutes after services begin. Now what? He forgot he was serving. Do you think Zacharias forgot the day he served?

 

Something is terribly wrong in all of this. There is a spirit missing. We’ve forgotten God in all of this. It wouldn’t hurt to even have a post worship meeting on a Monday to discuss what worked and what didn’t work. Why do all of this? Because we want to give God our best. We are done with sloppy, shabby, worship that comes across like no one knows what they are doing. We want to give the maximum thought and attention to the God of Heaven who sent Jesus to die for us. That was thought out, planned and set. And here we are falling asleep during worship, stumbling around and acting like this is the first time we’ve ever done this. Embarrassing to visitors, shameful to members, and lacking reverence to God, these things need to end. It’s time to give God our best every time. Preach the best we can preach. Sing the best we can sing. Pray fervently, each time. Not mindless, thoughtless repeating of the same words, the same way, every time.  Give thought to what we are doing. Put time into it. The “good-ole boy” approach to worship which is more like a comedy club than the worship of God must come to an end.

 

It’s God what we worship. Give Him the best. It starts even before you walk into the building. It starts at home. It starts with your attitude. Staying up all hours on Saturday night is doomed to give God a tired, sleepy, less than best worship. Get to bed. Arise early and get things in order. It’s off to God’s house we go. Have everything thought out or laid out on Saturday night. Find the Bibles, the shoes, the ties. It’s off to God’s house in the morning. Travel singing hymns. Travel with a mind that is thinking about God. Be thinking of God. Greet each other with smiles and joy. Enter worship with great anticipation and joy. This spirit will change the outcome of worship. You will get more out of it. Sit up close. Sing out. Open your Bible. Drink deeply. God’s been good to you. God’s been thinking about you. It’s your time to thank Him.

 

The majesty of worship. Let’s find it and bring it back!

 

Roger

 

09

Jump Start # 1098

Posted on May 9, 2014 by Jump Starts Daily in Jump Starts Daily | Tagged | Leave a comment

Jump Start # 1098

Matthew 19:4 “and He answered and said, ‘Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh?’”

 

Today we wrap up this series on parents advising their kids about dating. This is often stressful in the home. Some kids want to date someone that parents do not want them to. It’s hard for the teenager to understand and see what the parents do. Many of the lessons about dating ought to be taught before the children are old enough to date. Lessons about respect, kindness, thankfulness, listening—these are life lessons that begin early. The dating process reveals the character, heart and priorities of another person. For instance, does the guy drive fast and reckless? That shows little concern about life –both his and others. How does the date talk about his parents? Is it always negative? What does he think about God? Does the date whine a lot, demand a lot, and is smothering with her needs? What baggage do they bring to the relationship? How do they treat pets? Are they cruel and mean? The more serious dating becomes, the more important these questions become. You are looking at a person and wondering if there is going to be a future together. Too often, someone tries to deny the red flags and major character flaws, because breaking up is too painful. They fail to see that breaking up is not as painful as being married to someone who has serious issues and won’t deal with them.

 

Broken hearts are part of the dating process. Parents need to be there when that happens. Differences, especially in faith, often lead to breaking up. The child will feel like the world has come to an end. They will mope around and not feel like doing anything. Many of us have been there. This is a time to parent again. You’ll soon find that the issues of a four year old are so much easier than a seventeen year old. Staying in the bedroom, listening to sad songs, staring at pictures only pours more salt into the hurting heart. The smile will return, it takes time. Be kind and careful with hurt feelings.

 

One of the things parents will notice when their children start dating very seriously is that their child spends more time with the date than with the parents and they tell more things to the date than they do the parents. This is hard for us parents. We want to be in the loop, close to our kids and know what’s going on. There is a transition period that our verse describes. There is a leaving father and mother that takes place before they become married. That transition involves leaving father and mother. There comes a time when they would rather spend time with the date than you, the parent. We were that way, but now that it happens to us as parents, it’s hard to deal with. I’m going through this for the fourth time now. My youngest is engaged and is always talking to his girl. That’s the way it is supposed to be. Some parents have a hard time with this. Some even become jealous. There comes a time when they will pick the other person over you. For parents, there is life after kids. It’s hard to grasp that since the children have been your life for so long. It’s hard to remember life before kids. The children will find someone else, get married and begin a life on their own. This is the time for parents to get to know each other again. Do things together. Find a life together. Some do well with this, others don’t. Some can’t stay out of their grown kids lives. Some can’t stop parenting. This can cause tension. There comes a time when as parents we become advisors. We no longer can tell, demand and order our kids what to do. That’s hard. We’ve always told them what to do. Now they are grown and they will do what they want. And what they want, often isn’t what we want.

 

I have learned from my grown children that the people that they have married bring new perspectives, ideas and attitudes to the family. Not everyone eats dessert after every meal like we do. I can’t imagine. Now I do. Not everyone thinks the Beatles are the greatest band of all time. Not everyone likes musicals. Not everyone likes to get up at the crack of dawn and tackle the day. As a parent, you see your children making adjustments to fit their life. They may like the new ways that their mate has introduced them to. So your child changes. They mold into a relationship that works. It may not be the image that the parent envisioned but it works. Some things can be very delicate and come across as ‘we are better than you,’ or ‘our way is better than your way.’ With marriages the family dynamics changes. There are more people to know, love and make them feel accepted. What a parent can say and get away with their own child may not be received as well from one married into the family. Some families tease. Others don’t. Some families put all the feelings on the table. Others don’t. This mixture takes time to work it’s way around. When there is love, faith, kindness, and patience, many of these things tend to settle and find a way of working.

 

I hope through this series you’ve seen the importance of parents being very active in teaching their children about dating. This is not a time to bury your head in the sand. This is not a time to be passive. The dating period can be wonderful and joyful. It can also be full of tears and heartache. The best is when your child finds a strong Christian to spend their life with. The worst is when your child throws away their faith because of someone else. Pray hard. Work at it. Start early. Be that mamma bear when it comes to your kids. Don’t be afraid to do the hard thing if necessary. Sometimes that means switching schools. Sometimes that means pulling them out of college. Sometimes that may mean moving. The soul of your child is worth it. Christ gave His blood to save you and your child. What are you willing to give or do to save them?

 

Parenting isn’t for the faint of heart. Someone once wrote, ‘If parenting was so easy, why would the process begin with the word ‘labor.’ God is counting on you. God needs you in there, right in the thick of things to lead your child to Heaven. You are a parent! That’s one of the greatest honors and titles you will ever wear. How fitting, right before Mother’s Day, to remind ourselves the great value and work you do as a parent. No one else will do it. Your children will learn, either the right way from you, or the wrong way from the world.

 

Hang in there moms and dads. Roll up the sleeves, turn the TV off, and get busy with those kids!

 

Roger