Jump Start # 1035

Philippians 4:2 “I urge Euodia and I urge Syntyche to live in harmony in the Lord.”

  Harmony—we appreciate it in music, we expect it among kids, we wish more countries would embrace it, and among brethren, it’s something that shouldn’t have to be said. But it does. Euodia and Syntyche are known through the ages as two in the Philippian church that didn’t get along. I’ve wondered what it must have been like to have this letter read before the entire church, and to hear your name read and not in a positive manner. Paul wasn’t praising these two. Their differences now involved the apostle and it included the church.

Consider some thoughts here:

First, Paul does not tell us what the problem was. Who started it and who was at fault. He didn’t take sides. He told them both to live in harmony. He “urged” them both. We’d love to know what the problem was. Could it have been something shallow and simple? Was it something shameful? Who knows. Doesn’t matter. Get along are the words of Paul. We can spend far too much time getting into things that are not our business. We want to know details, when often we shouldn’t. We want to be able to point fingers and assign blame. In doing all of this, we find ourselves pulled into the mess and before we know it, we too, are a part of the problem. Get along. Work it out. Settle things. Live in harmony. That doesn’t mean move away. That doesn’t mean ignore what happened. It does mean to live in peace.

Second, our minor skirmishes often lead to major battles. That happened in the Civil War. That happens in churches. Stubbornness, pride and ego refuses to let little things pass. Too much of self tends to escalate things. Some problems have exploded into such a major issue that the parties involved can’t even remember what started it all. Some hold ill feelings for a long time until they explode and what a mess it is then.

Third, sometimes we need help to find the harmony among each other. Paul’s purpose in naming these two was to bring attention to the church and to solicit help from them. Job complained to God that there was no umpire between he and the Lord. Often, we need an umpire to listen, to advise, and to help get things going the right way. The problem with outside help is that if the independent, third party, doesn’t side with me, then I’m not interested in listening to him. We tend to only want a third party if they sway the problem in our favor. That’s not seeking harmony, that’s seeking my way.

Fourth, we need to be reminded, sometimes by others, that forgiveness and grace are the marks of Christianity. We do bump and bruise and hurt each other. We may not realize it. Other times, we know, but still we say and do what we do. Our nature is to either fight back, or run. Neither of those are the best solutions. Live in harmony is what God wants. Can that be accomplished? Yes, if we walk with Christ. In most battles among church members, Christ is left out of the discussion. We get heated, loud and threatening and leave on the sidelines, peace, harmony, grace and forgiveness. We don’t want an apology, we want vengeance. We don’t want grace, we want blood. We start thinking, “I have a right…” and the moment we do that, we have forgotten Christ. Jesus suffered and uttered no threats in return. Remember? Jesus said, “Turn the other cheek,” remember? Jesus said to love one another. We forget those things when we are upset because of another. Our thoughts are not in working things out, but in getting justice for our side. The way of the Lord is to forgive, be at peace and to work together in harmony.

We need each other. When there are disputes in the home or in the church, it is felt, it is known, and it causes progress to suffer. Disputes are prime time for gossip and hatred to rise to the surface. The good that we do is set back because we can’t get along. Others notice. It’s hard to worship when people are taking sides, thinking bad, and forming plans to hurt others.

These words need to be spoken to preachers and elders: Live in harmony. These words need to be spoken to those who are jealous of each other: live in harmony. These words need to be spoken to those who have five talents and those who have one talent: live in harmony. The young and the old: live in harmony. Those who grew up in the church and those who did not: live in harmony. Those who are new at things and those who have been around for a long time: live in harmony.

What a beautiful sound harmony is. When a piano is tuned properly—beautiful. When two voices are singing in harmony—wonderful. When two people are getting along—powerful. Live in harmony. That means, I won’t always get my way. That means I must look and see what’s best for all, not just me. That means I must be a team player. That means I must apologize when wrong and accept apologies when I’ve been wronged. It means I keep my lips closed and not make things worse by gossiping. It means I give others time to think things out and work through things. It means honesty must be foremost. It means we must all fly the banner of Christ above us.

Getting along. It’s not easy. We would do things differently. It seems everyone loves sitting in the critics chair. The back seat driver, the arm chair quarterback—we all think we know how we’d do it and it’s certainly not the way it’s being done now. I wonder how many worship services are ruined in some hearts because we butcher the song leader, groan at the sermon, and miss connecting with Jesus? It’s easy to be the critic. One of the early lessons young preachers must learn is to have thick skin. Each Sunday, the preacher is critiqued. It begins with his outfit, his hair, his manner in which he walks to the pulpit, his topic for a lesson, his delivery, the length of the lesson, his illustrations, what he left out, what he should have left out and sometimes all of that comes just from his wife. Poor guy. We all need some adjusting and could do things better, but constant criticism from brethren is one of the main reasons young preachers quit. They can’t take it. The pressure is too much. Each week they feel like they have failed. People who have never given a sermon in their life, acting like experts in something they have no idea about, can destroy a heart that just wanted to teach the Gospel. I know, I have been on the receiving end and it nearly drove me nuts. I had friends who got out of preaching because they couldn’t handle the “brethren” each week. I’ve seen it nearly destroy too many talented young preachers. There was one, many years ago who was just letting me have it at the door as he was leaving. Standing in line with others, he proudly announced what a failure I was. It must have made him feel good. I’m sure his dinner went down easy that day. Mine didn’t. It still hurts, all these years later. He never apologized. He never toned down. He proudly felt that he told me the truth. What a cruel and hurtful manner he walked in. I nearly quit. There never was any harmony there. There never was any church helping resolve things. It was an old bully who got away with abuse. It ruined our relationship. Those things should never have been allowed.

It’s so easy to tear down. We can do it with just a look. Young mothers who are trying so hard, can leave feeling defeated, not because of all the trouble with the little ones, but because of the stares of the older women. Teenagers can be made to feel that they are not welcomed. Those who look different. Those who come from a different background. It’s easy to rip others to shreds. Living in harmony is hard. It takes all that we have to not just get along, but to make things better. Harmony involves love and acceptance. Harmony means you are welcomed here.

You have a lot to do with keeping the harmony. Are you doing your part? Deny self, take up the cross and follow Jesus—that’s the spirit of harmony. Let’s work harder at it.

Roger