03

Jump Start # 951

Posted on October 3, 2013 by Jump Starts Daily in Jump Starts Daily | Tagged | Leave a comment

 

Jump Start # 951

 

Matthew 3:17 “And behold, a voice out of the heavens said, ‘This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well-pleased.”

Our verse today took place when Jesus was baptized. The Holy Spirit descended as a dove and the Father spoke from Heaven. This is one of the places we see the Trinity. This verse is used for many great lessons but one we don’t think about is parenting. The Father was pleased with Jesus. He expressed that to Him and to the world. Jesus was the perfect son. He was obedient, focused and literally perfect. He did the will of the Father. He spoke the words of the Father. He fulfilled the plan of the Father. Jesus became the perfect sacrifice for us.

 

There is a parenting lesson for us here, especially for dads, but moms are included as well. It is valuable for us to compliment our children. As parents we drive and push and plead with our kids. We want the best for them. We want them to try. Sometimes they don’t seem to care. They may not care about school and we know that this is wasted opportunity if they do not get on the ball. We see them being lazy and sloppy. In some teenagers room, it’s been a long time since the parent has seen the carpet because of all the clothes, papers and stuff that is on the floor. It’s a pig pen and worse of all, it doesn’t seem to bother the kid. They can get sloppy in the way they look, especially boys. Bed hair, wrinkled clothes, unshaven, sloppy drives moms to scream. It doesn’t seem to bother them. We want our children to do well. We’d like to see them on the honor roll. We’d like to see them make varsity. We like to see them get scholarships for college. Too often, the parents like that, but the kids don’t care. He doesn’t care if he makes the team or not. He doesn’t care if he’s honor roll or not. This is when all the lectures, the pleading, the threats, the pulling your hair out takes place. We, as parents, do get that they don’t get it.

Been there? I have. My youngest would never clean his car out. The back seat was full of trash—wrappers from McDonalds, school papers, coke cans, French fries and junk. I threatened him over and over about cleaning his car out. I told him I feared that he would die in a car wreck from flying debris. On day I had it. It was trash day. I told him if it wasn’t cleaned out that day, he was riding the big yellow school bus. That’s worse than death to a high school kid. The trash truck came by. He loaded up two trash cans. They waited and watched. They laughed. They told him that he had more trash in his back seat than they had in the trash truck. The thing that bothered me the most about all of this wasn’t the trash in the back seat, it was that it bothered me, but it didn’t bother him. I soon saw there were many things like that. Then it occurred to me that I was always riding the kids about something. There was always something not right. Every day, it was “do this.” Every day. I thought, when was the last time I complimented them? When was the last time I let them know that they were great kids? Boy, once that hit me, it really hit me. I didn’t want them leaving home with the impression of dad as the guy who is always grumpy about something. I started finding things that they did that was impressive. There were several things. They were always there. I just couldn’t see them because I was so focused upon trash in the back seat of a car.

I share all of this with you to remind you to praise your children. Home ought to be the place where we are glad to have each other. Say it. Show it. This is true of husbands and wives as well as parents to their children.

 

God was well pleased with Jesus. He let Him know that. God spoke through the heavens. All those around Jesus could hear what the Father said. Hugs, kisses, compliments, high fives, fist bumps ought to be regular and natural in the home. Praise the kids. Celebrate victories. Encourage them on the defeats. In doing all of this, you build character and confidence in them. You are showing them how they need to parent some day. As they grow they will see how special those moments are. Too few get compliments at work. Often life beats us up and drains all of our energy. We drag our selves home and then, if the home is not right, we get even more complaining. Is it any wonder that in some many homes, everyone goes to their own room and shuts the door. They don’t want to be around one another. They had enough trouble at work and school and they simply do not feel like any more at home. Sad. Don’t let your home be that way. Catch what you are saying to your kids. Your tone of voice, your choice of words, your negativity, your attitude—do you need to make some adjustments? Has it been a while since you said, “Well, done.”

Give it a try. You’ll see more brightness in them and you may actually find that they want to hang around you. It’s a great thing!

Roger

 

02

Jump Start # 950

Posted on October 2, 2013 by Jump Starts Daily in Jump Starts Daily | Tagged | Leave a comment

 

Jump Start # 950

 

Ephesians 6:4 “And, fathers, do no provoke our children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

 

Our verse today is near the top of parenting verses that people think of. It’s used often. It’s powerful and has been the banner for generations of God’s people. The apostle puts forth one negative and two positives in this verse.

 

The negative: Do not provoke your children to anger. Don’t agitate them. Now, some things need to be understood with this. This is not to say, do everything that pleases your children. Staying up to two in the morning and having chocolate cake for breakfast may please many kids. They may even get mad when you say no and go to bed. Those who resist rules get angry. They get angry at the rule and they get angry at the one enforcing the rule. Adults who drive too fast and get pulled over for speeding feel the same way. This is not the anger Paul has in mind.

He doesn’t want dads to irritate children. Don’t poke fun of them. Don’t get them mad because you think its funny or that they are cute when they are mad. Because the parent is bigger than the child, don’t take advantage of that position. Kids remember. Some day when you are old they may stick you away in some nasty nursing home and laugh back at you. I’ve seen kids come to tears because of the teasing of the parents. They wouldn’t stop. Discipline should not break the spirit or the will of the child. Some of us dads can be overbearing and too demanding. Our children are not mini slaves. The prodigal remembered his dad as a generous, kind man, even to the servants. That brought him home. The opposite will make kids stay away from home. The home ought to be a refuge in this crazy world we live in. Home ought to be where a person gets three square meals and a hundred hugs. Home needs to be where we are loved, accepted, appreciated and wanted—no matter what our size or age. I believe if the home is healthy, kids won’t threaten to leave. Home ought to be where our opinions can be expressed, even if they are wrong. It is a place for discussion and sharing ideas. Home is good. The provoking to anger is the opposite. It’s putting someone down. It’s making fun of someone. It’s ridiculing them because they didn’t get good grades or messed up in sports. Kids need approval, especially from dads. Dad is the king at home. Dad’s voice is loud. I remember my dad popping his belt before we got it. That sound was worse than the spanking.  For a dad to say, “I love you,” or, “I’m proud of you,” means so much to a child.

 

Dads provoke—but not to anger. They provoke to goodness and kindness and godliness.

The first positive the apostle gives us is: bring them up in the discipline of the Lord. Warnings, consequences, punishment are part of the learning process. Without boundaries we tend to wonder off course. We need guidelines, instructions, guardrails, boundaries to keep us where we ought to be. The discipline of the Lord includes the teachings of the Bible. Bring them up with the Bible. Bring them up with stories about Noah, Adam, Daniel, Abraham and Joseph. Share with them the good and the bad of these Bible characters. Discipline—the book of Proverbs mentions that often. Without discipline a child brings shame to his parents. Smart talk, talking back, slamming doors, yelling, throwing things—NOT ALLOWED. Parents, it’s your house. You set the rules. The home is not a democracy. It’s parents rule. God ordained that. Kids learn early that if they throw a fit, make a scene, wear the weary parent down, then they get to stay up, buy that toy, or eat that snack before dinner. Kids are smart. They will push your buttons and try you. They will push you to the limits. Without discipline they will get away with things they shouldn’t. Without discipline they grow up disrespecting authority. Hebrews reminds us that our fathers disciplined us and that discipline wasn’t pleasant. It doesn’t take too much of that for the child to get the point. Throw a toy and you lose that toy. Smart off and off to bed you go. A little of that discipline will stop them. It does work because God knows what he is talking about.

 

The second positive is the instruction of the Lord. Bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Instruction is teaching. Children need guidance. They need to be taught. This is more than reciting the books of the Bible in order, it’s grasping what God wants from his people. It’s learning to be generous. It’s learning to be a servant. Kids who don’t get that become adults who don’t get that. Selfish and stingy comes from homes that promoted that. Start early. Work on these lessons often.

Did you notice that this passage is addressed to “fathers.” Not churches. Not even moms. Dad, this is your role. This is what being the head means. It’s not about barking orders but leading the home. It’s being the person that the rest can follow. This means you’ll miss some ball games on TV because you need to be doing things with the kids. It means that many of the movies you watch will be cartoons. It is reading books to them. It is telling them bedtime stories. It is showing them how to fix things. It is sitting with them during church services. It is letting them see you do things publicly in church. It is having families from church over in your home and seeing dad help get the place cleaned up. It is working with dad to help a neighbor. This is how the life lessons are learned. It’s not yelling at them when you are mad. It’s leading. It’s being the head.

 

Dad…what a wonderful title. What a powerful word. What an enormous responsibility. I have four people who look at me as dad (they call me “PJ” instead of dad—but that’s a long story and not for here). Dad is a word of relationship. It’s time to be dad, dads.

Roger

 

01

Jump Start # 949

Posted on October 1, 2013 by Jump Starts Daily in Jump Starts Daily | Tagged | Leave a comment

 

Jump Start # 949

Genesis 22:7 “And Isaac spoke to Abraham his father and said, ‘My father!’ And he said, ‘Here I am, my son.’ And he said, ‘Behold, the fire and the wood, but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?”

We continue our look at parenting. I have four children. They are all in their 20’s and 30’s now. I haven’t been inside a Toys R Us in years. My kids grew up going to church three times a week. We went to special gospel meetings. We’ve always had people in our home for meals and Bible studies. I’ve taken them with me to help others, to visit hospitals and to funeral homes. They weren’t always nice little angels. We had our moments as all families do. Today, they are all Christians and the three who are married, married strong Christians. I am blessed. I talk with my kids often, some of them daily. I am very proud of them. They are busy using their talents and abilities in positive ways and each of them are making an impact in the church they belong to.

 

Now, it sounds like I’m bragging. I’m not. I am very, very proud of them. They are my greatest achievement in my life’s work. I know of many great couples who have heart ache because their grown children have given up on God. Good kids, just no interest. I’m not sure why it is that way? I wish I had the answer. Many of my preaching friends, who are much better people than I am, have prodigals that have yet to come home. I know they blame themselves when they shouldn’t. They did everything that they knew was right.

 

Our passage reminds us of the importance that parents have in shaping the heart of a child spiritually. The text comes from the time Abraham was going to offer Isaac as a sacrifice. He told his servants to wait as he and Isaac went on to worship. The verse shows that Isaac understood a burnt offering was to take place. They had the fire and the wood, but no sacrifice. Isaac understood a lamb was necessary. How did he know that? Why did he not suggest a frog or a leaf? He knew. He knew a lamb was necessary. He knew that a frog wasn’t right. He must have seen his father worship before. He must have heard his father talk about God. He knew God didn’t require leaves. He knew what God wanted. He respected God.

Our children need to see the same thing. Church services are different than anything else. Now I’m going to get on my soap box about some things. I am old school about some of these things. I believe some of these things make a difference.

  • Children should not run in the church building. No. The only exception is if the place is on fire. This isn’t play time. This isn’t recess or gym classes. Outside is for running. You don’t run in school, the mall, inside the house or in God’s house. There are too many people that can be knocked over and too many bad things that can happen. No running! The church building is different from school and home. It is God’s house. We dress up and we don’t act up. That’s an early lesson. Put the brakes on the kids.

 

  • I don’t like children up in the pulpit area unsupervised. There are too many electronics, buttons and stuff that can be turned, twisted, and pulled that will make the deacons scream when they have to try to fix everything that little hands have touched. The exception to this is when a dad takes his son up there and puts a song book in his hand. He is teaching him. He is showing him what it is like. What an honor it is to serve the people of God. Later, when he is ready, dad will show him how to read Scriptures from the pulpit. Many don’t know this lesson. They need to be shown where to stand and how to use a mic and how to speak out. Later, dad can even teach the son how to give a lesson. Those are great moments. Otherwise, kids need to be out of the pulpit area. They love to jump from the platform. It’s inviting to them. You must UNINVITE them. This is God’s house. This is not the playground.

 

  • Toys and food ought to be limited to babies. Babies can’t help it. They get hungry and cry. Babies have a short attention span. Beyond babies, food needs to stay home. Toys—keep them at home. Bring books. Bring paper. Bring crayons. Bring Bible story books. There is a natural transition from books and doodling to Bibles and taking notes. I’m not a fan of electronics. It teaches a young person to ignore what others are doing and play angry birds. Cell phones and tablets are for those who are responsible and mature.

 

  • Our congregation places the songs on the screen. That’s helpful, but parents may want to pull the old song book out. My wife did that with our kids. She’d use her finger and later, their finger to follow the words. This taught them words and rhythm and music. They’d pick up on words. They can read this way. Singing is important. Kids ought to sing.
  • God’s house is special. Teach them that. Teach them to speak to older people. Teach them to pick up what they drop. Teach them to help keep it nice. Sure they’ll complain when you make them turn around and pick up the piece of paper that they dropped. But a few times of that and they will not drop the paper on the floor.

 

  • Parents need to watch their children. Those little angels can be little devils at times. I’ve seen far too many parents engrossed in deep conversation while their kids are running throughout the building doing who knows what. The Lord really blessed Debbie and I. We had four kids. And between us we have four eyeballs. We never took our eyes off of them. We knew where they were and what they were doing. If we lost sight of them, we pardoned our conversation and went on a search and find mission. Keep an eye on your children. That will take care of most of these things.

 

  • The spiritual lessons do not end when you walk out the church building. Sing hymns in the car. Have prayers together at the dinner table. Talk about God. Lead them spiritually. There are always great challenges that come up, but with a spiritual foundation that helps so much. My wife was always the first to say to the kids, “Have you prayed about that?” She still says that to them.

Isaac knew how to worship. Do your kids know?

Roger