.Jump Start # 966

Ecclesiastes 7:2 It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting,
because that is the end of every man, and the living takes it to heart.”

Much of this week we have been looking at the subject of grieving and death. Most of us would like to avoid going there, but life takes us there whether we like it or not. Death changes things. It is an interesting contrast that I have witnessed many times. Standing in a cemetery beside a casket, offering a few words of comfort for a family whose heart has just been crushed, and watching cars pass by on a street. For those driving by, they are busy with life– going places, listening to music, talking on cell phones. They seem to be in a hurry. For those gathered around the grave, life has stopped. Whatever they had planned that day was cancelled. They came to a funeral. With tears in their eyes and sorrow in their hearts, nothing else seems to be more important at that moment. What a contrast.

Ecclesiastes seven lists a series of contrasts. Solomon tells us one thing is better than another. What he tells us is better, is not what we would have chosen. Our verse is a supreme example of that. Go to the house of feasting or the house of mourning? I don’t have to think about that one. Feasting involves food. I’m in. Feasting implies conversation, laughter and fun. I’m in. I don’t know exactly what feasting Solomon had in mind, but for me, I’m thinking watching football with family and friends, with some chips and dip and other delightful things to munch on. I’m thinking chocolate. Fun, fun, fun. That’s not the best choice. Solomon tells us the house of mourning is better. In Solomon’s day, the house of mourning was not the funeral home. That is a rather modern concept. Even in my grandparents day, when someone died, they were “laid out” in the home. That sounds creepy to most of us. It’s just the way things were done back then. I remember seeing an envelope in my grandmother’s house that had two pennies from the 1930’s. I asked her about it and was told that the pennies were placed on some family members eyes to keep them closed. They would use pennies with the date of the person’s death. Again, very odd to most of us today. For Solomon, the house of mourning would have been the house in which a person lived. Funerals were generally held on the day a person died. A huge gathering of mourners would be found at the house. Jesus experienced that when he went to the home of Jairus. Jesus sent the mourners away and raised the young girl from the dead.

For us, the house of mourning is the funeral home. Party or funeral? Better the funeral. Solomon tells us why. He reminds us that the living take it to heart.

What lessons do we take from the house of mourning?

• People I know and love die. We hear of death everyday. Planes crash. Cars wreck. Violence happens. These stories make the nightly news. So many video games and movies show death that it doesn’t do much to us. But then death comes close to us. Someone we know. Someone we love dies. Death takes on a different meaning. Some are taken before they accomplished their life’s work. Some had so much more to give. Death doesn’t wait for us. People I love die.

• Our values change in the house of mourning. Somehow stuff doesn’t matter in the house of mourning. What affects us and hits us is the character of the person that passed away. We don’t think about how big his TV was, or what labels he wore, or how nice his yard was—what matters is what kind of person he was. That’s what draws us to the funeral home. Outside of family, we go to funerals because the person was a friend to us. The person was kind to us. The person made a difference to us. We forget that in the house of feasting. At the feast we do think about the kind of plates we are eating on, how big the TV is that we are watching, the kind of chairs that we are sitting in—stuff seems important in the house of feasting. We try to leave good impression upon others. That impression usually is atmosphere, food, entertainment and superficial things. The house of mourning makes us think about the kind of character of person that died.
• The house of mourning draws a connection between us and death. We think about that. We don’t want to think about it, but we do. In our minds we realize that someday it will be us in the funeral home. We wonder what people will think about us. We wonder what we have done in life. We wonder what God thinks about us. Feasting doesn’t do that. At a party, we don’t think about hosting a party in our house. We are busy with the moment. Friends, food and fun are the thoughts of the moment. We don’t give much thought about the eternal, God or where our lives are leading us. We ought to, but we don’t. Funerals do that. We see pictures that cover a lifetime. We are taken back to memories and moments we spent with the one who passed away. We reflect. We consider. We think. We pray. The house of mourning is good for that. It could be that is why so many dread going to funerals—they don’t want to be reminded. They don’t want to think that it could be them the next time. This reflection has a way of getting our priorities in the right order. Things tend to get jumbled up and we often forget what is most important. Ballgames, food, fun and buying stuff often seem to be the most important things in life. We’d never say that, but we demonstrate that by our choices. After the funeral, there is a tug on our heart to be a better person. We want to talk about real things. We want to be around family and friends. The house of mourning is a place where many resolutions take place. We resolve to be better, to do more, to make a difference, to talk to the family member about Jesus. Why? We know that death is real. We know that death is coming. We reflect in the house of mourning.

• The house of mourning connects us with God. We want a preacher at the funeral. Folks who never go to church, still want a preacher at the funeral. Folks that never read the Bible, want the Bible read at funerals. We want prayers at funerals. Folks that never gave a thought about the spiritual will insist upon the spiritual at the funeral. Maybe they think that will get them into Heaven. Doesn’t work that way. Maybe it’s their conscience telling them what they know. Maybe they are hoping that there is something beyond this life. There is, they just haven’t thought about it, nor believed it. It’s interesting that those who never have time for God when living, now want God at the funeral. They don’t want the bartender saying words. They don’t want to read the sports page at the funeral. Funerals bring out the spiritual. It connects us with God.

Those that have walked with God throughout their life, having a preacher, prayers and Bible readings at their funeral are all very natural. It was a part of their life. They believe. They know and trust what God has said. They know that the cemetery is not the end of the journey.

The house of mourning teaches and reminds us of things that no other place does. It’s good to go there, even when we don’t want to. What we walk away from those places with a heart that can change us and make us a better people.

Our day will come. At that time, nothing a preacher says at our funeral will change our eternal destiny with God. We determine those things while we are living. We make the choices. We include God or we ignore God. Our choice. Our consequences. Our eternity.

The house of mourning…

Roger