Jump Start # 952

Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.”

We continue our look at parenting through the eyes of the Lord. We can not have too many lessons about the home. There are so many assaults on the home from so many different places that we need to be reminded and taught and warned about the great spiritual lessons from the Bible.

Our passage today is a classic parenting verse. It is one of the first ones that people go to when we think about parenting and the Bible. This passage emphasizes the input that parents have in their child’s life. Proverbs by definition are truisms. They are not absolute, 100% every time. Truisms mean generally this is the way it is. There will always be some exception. There are many wonderful parents who have done great jobs yet their kids did not turn out so wonderful. It’s easy to point fingers, blame the parent and often this passage is cited. Blaming good parents for the poor choices of grown children doesn’t change things. It only makes those parents feel worse. Remember, many Old Testament illustrations shows Israel as the child of God. Israel was rebellious, wayward and disobedient to God. Was God at fault for having a wayward child? Was God to carry the blame for the sins of a nation who didn’t love Him or care for Him? No. So, if God, the perfect parent, had a rebellious child, Israel, let’s be careful with spooning out guilt on parents who’s hearts are already breaking because of the decisions of their children.

Our passage gives us two thoughts:

First, Train Up. That involves time, instruction, energy and an understanding in what you are training for and what the goal is. So often, young families begin having babies the same time they are busy getting established in their careers. The demands of work pulls one away from the home. Choices have to be made. Children can’t be paused and then when you have time, you come back to them. Doesn’t work that way. They will grow up with or without you. They will learn, either from you or from someone else. They will be taught the Bible—either the right way through you, the parent, or the wrong way through their friends, or a teacher. They will learn love, the Biblical way, through you the parent, or they will learn selfish and lustful love through a boyfriend or girlfriend. They will learn about the church, through you the parent or through their friends, which may be a distorted, wacko version of what the Bible teaches. You children will learn. They will learn the right way or the wrong way. They can’t wait for you to get your life, your career, or your act together. They are growing. They are learning. By the time some of us are ready to talk, they are no longer wanting to listen. They know. They have learned a distorted definition of what God wants and off they go fulfilling that nightmare.

Train up. Work at it. Spend time with them. Teach. Show. Take them. Answer questions. Ask them questions. Probe. Get them thinking. Challenge them. Build that faith. Lay the foundation in Jesus. Everyone loves the quarterback this time of the year. Every kid wants to be that varsity quarterback on the high school team. However, in August when it’s hot and most kids are inside playing video games, few want to be that quarterback who is running and training. What he does in August determines how he will be in October. The training is work. The training is tough. The training determines the outcome. Parents are to train up their child.

Second, in the way he should go. Train up a child in the way he should go. Most of us see Heaven and righteousness here. That’s the way a child ought to go and therefore that is the way parents ought to train him. That makes good sense. That’s what parents ought to do. However, this passage has another meaning. The original words give us a different thought. It is talking about a person’s natural leanings or “bent.” All of us have a certain “wiring” within us that comes from God. It is what makes us unique. We sometimes call this “God given talent,” and that’s a fair assessment of things, because they are God given. I have a friend in my congregation who is “artsy.” She draws unbelievable things. She has taken her talent, studied more, practiced and uses it in wonderful ways. I can’t draw a straight line across a board. That is her “bent.” Others are dreamers. They are planners. They come up with great ideas. Where many of us are stuck not knowing what to do, these folks come up with the solutions. That is their bent. For others it’s music. My wife is that way. She has an “ear” for music. She can hear a song and tell you what key it is in. She recognizes when someone is out of pitch. She has taken that talent and studied more and practiced more and is very gifted in that area. All I know is that when the notes go up, your voice goes up and when they go down your voice goes down and when they stop, you stop. I’m pitiful in music. That’s not my “bent.” Others, can talk easily to a stranger and strike up a conversation so well. Others, it’s math and numbers. Others, it’s compassion.

Train up a child in the way he should go. Train up a child according to his “bent.” Don’t “unbend” him. I have a tree in my yard that the first owners planted. It was planted crooked. It’s a big tree now. It has grown crooked. It’s too late to straighten that tree up. It has a “bent” to it. It has grown according to that “bent.”  This is what this passage is saying. Now what did this mean to the people back then? They didn’t have the options of sports like our kids do today. Most likely, a parent could tell if a child was wired to teach or work with hands or was a thinker or was artsy. Develop or train up a child according to his “Bent.” Someone who is not good with working with their hands shouldn’t be pushed into mechanics. Some are good at writing. Some are good at explaining things. Train them according to their bent.

Now, how do you know a kid’s “bent”? You have to try some different things. You will find each child is “bent” a different way. Don’t expect each child to do the same as the others. This makes challenges with running kids to different things. This is hard for some parents. Some want their kids to be bent a certain way—like sports. That may not be their thing. The pressure put upon the child and what we say about those things can determine success or failure.

Have you figured out your bent yet? You have one. Are you using your strengths? Do you know how your child is bent? Are you helping him in that way?

Roger