Jump Start # 880

Luke 15:32 “But we had to celebrate and rejoice, for this brother of yours was dead and has begun to live and was lost and has been found.’”

We continue our thoughts from the parable of the Prodigal son. The reckless boy returned home expecting and hoping that his father would make him a servant. He had no where else to turn. No one would help him. He realized that he had sinned. There was no one to blame but himself.

Would his father scold him? Lecture him? Beat him? Toss him out? He found his father to be better than he thought. His father ran, embraced and forgave him.

Forgiveness—it is the one true Christian value. A person can be generous without being a Christian. A person can be kind without being a Christian. It is rare, if not impossible to be forgiving without being a Christian. We learn forgiveness from Chris.

Forgiveness is a choice. The father chose to forgive. Forgiveness means to release what is owed. The debt is cancelled. Nothing more is required, expected or owed. The act of forgiveness is based upon love and grace. The forgiving father saw the prodigal coming home and felt compassion. He felt. It was that compassion that led to the forgiveness.

It is hard to forgive family failures. We are around family all the time. We expect more from family. When someone has hurt another family member, it is hard to let it go and forgive. Some family sins are just as terrible and wicked as the sins of the world. Some families have had to deal with sexual sins and abuse. Identity theft is the highest among family members. Family members can be cruel to each other. Jealously, favoritism, double standards have led to brothers and sisters not liking each other as grown adults. The prodigal’s older brother is an example of one who could not or would not forgive.

Forgiveness begins by wanting things to be better. The prodigal certainly needed things to be better. He was at the bottom of the barrel. The father missed the prodigal and wanted him home. There was an apology. There was a recognition of wrong done. Forgiveness is not denial. Forgiveness is not looking the other way. Forgiveness is not pretending everything is fine when it is not. Forgiveness sees the sin and chooses to release what is owed.

The prodigal was in huge debt. He lost all his inheritance. He ruined the family name. He wasted opportunity. He took advantage of his father. He demanded. He had an attitude. He was disrespectful. He didn’t like home nor the rules at home. His problems were many. The father forgave.

This is the key to families getting along and getting over the hurts that exist among them. Some can’t seem to let things go. They want and demand more than a “I am sorry.” They want to squeeze the person until some blood comes. Or, more often, they want nothing to do with the person. They ignore, avoid and refuse to communicate with the family. Someone can say, I am sorry, yet others may refuse to forgive. They feel that the apology is  not enough for some. It hurts. It hurts parents. It hurts brothers and sisters.

Later, we will talk about the elder brother—one who would not forgive.

The father was different. He chose to forgive. He didn’t have to. No one made him. He wanted to. That is the key. He wanted his son, both of his sons, sitting at his table. He wanted things good and right. He missed his son. He loved his son. He would gladly take the hurt, suffer the loss to have his son back.

Forgiveness means that you treat the person as if they had never left. For the father to say, ‘I forgive you,’ but you must sleep in the barn with the servants, isn’t true forgiveness. The robe, sandals, ring and feast showed forgiveness. Instead of tears, there was rejoicing. Instead of lectures and finger pointing, there was dancing and music. Forgiveness means you don’t keep returning to those same hurts. You don’t keep talking about it. You don’t keep the wound fresh. Some pick and pick at those old hurts, like kids do a scab, and the wound never heals. It is always fresh. It is always there. They wonder why they can’t move on. They wonder why they can’t forgive. Let it go. Let it heal. Give it some time. Don’t focus on the wrong, focus upon the return.

Understand, especially among families, when someone has been wounded, a person needs to apologize. The prodigal was not forgiven when he was with the pigs. He was not sent a ring, robe and sandal to the pig farm. He came home. He said, “Father, I have sinned…” Without the return, without those words, forgiveness cannot happen.

Paul told the Ephesians to forgive just as God in Christ has forgiven us. JUST AS. Have you thought about how many times God has forgiven you? 100x? 1,000x? Have you noticed that God doesn’t have a cap on forgiveness. You get so many chances and after that you are on your own. God doesn’t do that. He loves. He wants. He forgives. He forgives those who come home. He forgives those who are tired of pigs and want to be home. He forgives those who acknowledge that they have sinned. Over and over God forgives.

Forgiveness is not easy. It’s not easy to admit, nor state that you hurt others. It’s not easy to let it go.

To do what God wants, we must apologize and we must forgive. It takes following Christ to do that. Where are you in all of this?

Do you need to apologize to someone? Do you need to forgive someone? The Pharisees couldn’t. God could. The father could. The elder brother could not. Where are you with this?

Roger