Jump Start # 605

Ephesians 4:31-32 “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God is Christ also has forgiven you.”

Attitudes—they are often hard to adjust and harder still to correct. It seems that we can start the day off in a pretty good mood, but the drive to work, the atmosphere of the office, the nature of co-workers can put us in a foul spirit and by the end of the day we are complaining, negative and stressed. What’s worse is that we often come home that way and take it out upon our families.

Our passage today sets forth what we should not do and what we should do. A negative is contrasted with a positive. Paul identifies six attitudes or spirits that we should put away or do away with. These are all the very attitudes that bruise relationships and make things tense.

There are a couple of interesting thoughts deep within this passage.

First, these attitudes are choices that we have. Generally, we do not see them that way. Most do not choose to be angry. We’d say something like, “The way that other guy drove his car made me mad,” or, “the boss dumping a ton of work on my desk right before it’s time to go home, made me mad,” or, “the waitress nearly forgetting to serve us made me mad.” What’s worse, is that we take those attitudes and feelings home and we take it out on the innocent family members. Angry comes naturally and quickly. We didn’t choose to be that way, it just happened. That’s how we tend to think.

When Paul used the concept of put them away, he was implying that we are in control of our attitudes and emotions. They do not control us, but we control them. These negative and often sinful attitudes can be stopped. They can be dumped. They can be changed. We are not slaves of our spirits and emotions. We cannot control what happens to us, but we do control how we will respond. The late author Barbara Johnson used to write often in her books, “Pain is inevitable, but misery is optional.” Don’t choose that option. That’s what Paul is saying.

Second, you’ll notice the use of the word “all.” It is inherit in all of these words. Let ALL bitterness, and (all) wrath, and (all) anger, and (all) clamor, and (all) slander, and (all) malice be put away from you. It does little good to get rid of some of it. Even keeping just a little will poison your heart, dampen your spirit and cause relationship problems.

All of these words have to do with relationships. A person doesn’t slander them self. They slander others. Bitter toward self? Never. But others? Yeah, that’s a problem. It’s hard to be a family, any kind of family, with these attitudes flowing freely. It hurts the natural family and it hurts the church family.

What is interesting also about these words that Paul wants us to dump is that he doesn’t get into the reasons why we feel this way. We can easily hold on to these negative attitudes because we feel like we are justified. The way the other person treated us gives us the right to be angry, to slander them and to be bitter. Paul didn’t open that door. He doesn’t address whether we have the right to feel this way—he simply said get rid of it. It tears us up on the inside and it kills the love and unity we are to have for each other.

Have you noticed how many people dwell in these negative attitudes? At the most innocent thing they explode and snap at others. It seems some are always angry. Some never see the sunshine of life. They are bitter about nearly everything. This is a terrible way to live. Kids grow up and usually adapt a worse form of those things that they have seen. What is worst, is when folks profess to walk with Jesus, but they have never changed their attitudes. Their sour spirits turn people away from Christ, and strains the relationships they have in the church.

The answer, put these things away. It’s your choice. You do not have to walk through life carrying these wicked attitudes that distort everything you see. Jesus is the answer. He is different. He is the example. He wasn’t this way. He had folks accuse Him. He had people leaving Him, questioning Him, denying Him and betraying Him. Did Jesus have reason to be bitter? He wasn’t. Could He slander others? He didn’t. Did He walk through life angry? No.

Choices—we make them with our breakfast cereal, the clothes that we put on and the attitudes that we wear. Our attitudes make us beautiful or ugly. They stand out more than our outfits, our makeup or our physical features. I know this older man, he’s not handsome at all. His teeth are crooked, he’s rather plain looking and nothing is really attractive about him, except his spirit. He is one of the kindest, most humble people I know. I love talking to him because he has a wonderful way of seeing what is important and doesn’t dwell upon the superficial things that do not matter. He is one of the most beautiful persons in the world. People are attracted to him because of his kind, thoughtful and sweet spirit. I tend to think Jesus was like that. Not much to see on the outside, but on the inside, there was no one like Him. This is what Paul is driving at. We spend so much time making the outside look good, but the inside is what we ignore and that is where we need to put the most attention. The inside will be remembered, not the outside. The inside makes or breaks the deal with most people. If you are treated rudely, you find another place to eat your food, buy your car, go to church, or even have surgery. We’ll switch doctors, jobs and even friends, on the basis of how we are treated.

Make sure that you are not doing that to others. Make sure your spirit is not the cause for some to leave. Make sure your spirit is not what is keeping you from Heaven.

Tomorrow, we’ll look at the positive things Paul wants us to add. Today, is trash day at our house. But actually, every day is—as we dump the selfish and wrong attitudes that fill our hearts. Just toss them out—that’s the answer. They won’t do you any good. It’s like keeping an old banana peel. It doesn’t have much of a purpose and before long, it starts to stink the place up. Sour attitudes do the same!

Roger