Jump Start # 515 

Proverbs 26:10 “Do not forsake your own friend or your father’s friend, and do not go to your brother’s house in the day of your calamity; better is a neighbor who is near than a brother far away.”

  This passage identifies the importance of connection and more so of presence. Written long before telecommunication and all the tools we have today to keep us informed and in touch with each other, the means back then was to be there. A brother was someone who was blood related to you. You grew up with your brother and have many stories and fond memories. Yet he lives away. A neighbor is the one that comes quickly. A neighbor is the one who is available to help. Better is a neighbor who is near than a brother far away.

  Nothing beats presence. My day yesterday was filled with the presence of others. I had three or four in my office. I went to the hospital and visited with a couple families. Last evening I was in someone’s home just to visit and connect and encourage. I didn’t get everything done that I wanted to yesterday but the presence of all those people made a difference. I love cell phones and emails, but there is something special about a smile, a handshake and looking into the eyes of someone else. The warmth of affection of a Jim and Dorothy, the smile of a Paul, the friendliness of a Larry, the sweetness of Sarah—nothing beats that. You can’t get that off your computer.

  I’ve seen studies where our society is moving away from that. We hide behind a computer screen and that is our form of communicating and connecting. This has an impact upon how we relate to others. It’s not necessarily a good thing.

  This is one of the valuable things about the church. We are together. We connect. We hug, we blend our voices, we smile, we open our Bibles, we ask questions, we weave our lives and souls together. It becomes a fellowship. The more a person comes, the more they are woven into that fabric. The more open we are, the more we connect with others the more we understand the value of that neighbor who is nearby.

  Most of us have had a variety of neighbors. Some we barely knew. Some we hated to move away from. Some neighbors keep to themselves and you hardly know them. Some quickly become dear friends. There is a role we play in all of that. It isn’t always “just the neighbors,” it is how endearing, open and friendly we are on our part. To be a neighbor, one must be neighborly. Our passage reminds us why we need to connect with neighbors. There comes a time when we will need them. Family may be too far way. If we haven’t built a relationship with the neighbors, then they won’t come. Mr. Rogers used to welcome everyone to his neighborhood. He was friendly and inviting, even in those odd sweaters he always wore. Welcome! What an inviting term.

  When Jesus told the disciples to go into all the world to preach the gospel, it would start with the neighborhood. Some would rather go across the sea than across the street. The difficulty in talking to neighbors about Jesus is that we don’t know them. Our times have changed. We see cars pulling in and out and we might wave if we pass each other, but neighborly is nearly an expression that has passed.

  Connections—that’s the key. Get to know your neighbors. Go out when they are out. Take walks in the neighborhood. Make time. Stop and visit a while. You might find things in common with them. You might in time find a way to invite them to services. You might make a new friend. You might be needing to call them late one night because you are having an emergency.

  What is happening in many of our neighborhoods is also what is happening in many congregations today. People are around others but they don’t connect. My favorite poet, Robert Frost, once wrote a poem about fences. He talked about building fences between neighbors. We warned poetically about being careful of what you are fencing out. Many build imaginary fences—emotionally, spiritually and mostly barriers to being connected. We only get close to certain people. We become masters at walking right past someone, eyes never locking on, head down, and completely ignoring them. We do this shopping. We do this in movie theatres. We do this in the neighborhood. We do this in the church building. We miss the value of this passage when that happens. When more of our friends are facebook friends who live in different places and we have no real friends here, something isn’t right. We need presence. We need smiles, slaps on the back, laughter, eye to eye contact, and pouring out our hearts to one another. When God told Adam it isn’t good for man to be alone, He made another person, Eve. He didn’t give Adam a computer, wi-fi and a list of buddies to facebook. Presence. Visit the hospitals. Go to the funeral homes. Turn off the computer, cell phone and connect face to face with others. That’s what this is all about.

  When our kids were growing up and they misbehaved, we sometimes disciplined them by telling them we were going to be Amish for a day. If it plugged in, turned on, used batteries or  electricity, they couldn’t do it. They fumed and fussed. “What are we going to do?” they’d protest. We said, go outside and play. It might be good advice for us—go Amish for a day. Connect face to face with someone. Building relationships in the family, in the neighborhood, and in the church is best done by presence.

  Have you noticed the presence of Jesus in the gospels. So often, He went. Someone needed Him and He went. He touched lepers. He allowed children to be in his lap. He connected.

  Do not forsake your friend…he needs you. Be there for him. The next time, you may need him to be there for you! That’s how friends do things.

Roger