Jump Start # 137 

Job 16:1-2 “Then Job answered, ‘I have heard many such things; ‘sorry comforters are you all.”

  The majority of the book of Job is lengthy discussions and debates between Job and his three friends. They all offer reasons why a righteous man like Job is suffering. They have similar theories. They feel that God is punishing Job. The extent of his suffering reveals that he has done something really bad. If he would confess it God would end the suffering. Job disagrees. He doesn’t know anything that he has done that warrants the pain that he is in.

  Back and forth the discussions go. Each speech becomes harder and more impatient than the previous. Job becomes frustrated and declares in our verse today, “sorry comforters are you all.” That’s bad. But it brings us to some wonderful things to consider.

  Job’s friends were wrong. They were wrong about the cause of suffering. They were wrong about Job. And most of all, they were wrong about God. At the end of the book God tells Job to offer sacrifice for these friends because God is put out with them. They were wrong. Now, having said that, in their defense they spoke what they thought was the truth. I admire them for that. Sometimes we think comfort is telling a person he is ok or all will be fine. In doing this people are not honest with reality or how they really feel about things. Telling the truth can be painful. Sugar coating bad behavior or attitudes doesn’t help anyone.

  Job’s friends did not know when to stop. That is another lesson we need to learn. Some harp and harp, and nag and nag and preach and preach until we wear the person down emotionally. This is not help at all. Some do this to get a person to agree with them or to get them to do what they feel is best. Like an old record that is stuck (some of you will have no idea what that means) they continue with the same message over and over.

  There is a time to let it go. There is a time, as Solomon says, to speak and a time to be silent. Knowing this determines whether we are helpful or hurtful. How to talk to people about things we disagree without becoming obnoxious and disagreeable is a fine art. Some do it well. Others become “miserable comforters.” It helps to remember the golden rule. It helps to place yourself in their shoes. It helps to pray for guidance and wisdom. It really helps to be calm and think about what you want to say before you say it.

  This is hard especially when we are dealing with those in the family whose behavior we disagree with. We want them right. We want them to stop. We want to help. We want the best. But you can’t change a person. You can influence and teach, but they must make the changes for themselves.

  Miserable comforters. You don’t want to be seen this way. You don’t want people to sigh when they see you coming. Your choice of words, your attitudes, your tone of voice and whether your nag and nag determines all of this. Sometimes we get so upset that we forget these things. We think volume and intensity is all that matters. That usually fails.

  Being a comforter is awesome! Being helpful is great! Being honest and truthful is a must! But being a sorry comforter, well that’s a different story.

Roger