Jump Start # 4048
Romans 12:10 “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor.”
It was pitched as an exit interview. It came from one of our deacons. Young. Involved. Very spiritual. Very helpful to the work here. Since I am retiring and leaving, he wanted to ask some questions. It wasn’t technically an “exit interview,” but wanting to get some insight from my perspective. Loved his thoughtful, deep and challenging questions.
He asked:
- Who have been some of your greatest influences in your life as a preacher?
- What brought you to Charlestown Road?
- In your preaching career, what have been some of the highlights?
- What has been some of your greatest challenges as a preacher?
- What are some things that Charlestown Road needs to be working on?
All this over a lunch! Great stuff. Wish others would think about this and more so, think this way. I thought as I sat there looking at this disciple, that if the Lord allows, this guy will be an incredible shepherd one day. He has the heart that brings kindness to leadership. He would be one who picks up a wandering sheep and places it over his neck and brings him home, as the Luke 15 parable describes.
As we parted, he smiled and reminded me that there would be “exit interview # 2” coming. I can hardly wait. Love spending time, sharing insights, and learning from powerful disciples. But as we parted, I thought how rare and uncommon it is to have such conversations. It ought to be the norm, but it’s not. And, for far too many preachers, fighting discouragement, burnout and loneliness, they feel abandoned on an island. No one asks how they are doing. No one seems to want to know their story. No one seems to care about their perspective or vision for the congregation. Even within the relationship between the elders and the preacher, conversations like this just doesn’t happen. Assumptions are made. “If he needed anything, he’d ask,” is the basis that many go by. But they don’t realize that the preacher would rather stand on the street corner with a cardboard sign, begging for handouts, than to reveal how things are going. The relationship should not be that way, but most times, it is.
Here are some thoughts that will help matters:
First, although your preacher may be called the man of God and you realize that he is not perfect, he has feelings. He has good days and bad days, just like you. He has struggles. He has dreams and vision for the future. Get to know him. Take him out for lunch and build a trusting and close relationship. Do you know his story? Does he know your story? Share that with each other. Ask him questions of depth. Find out what he is passionate about. Let him know that you can be counted on as one of his friends.
Second, the shepherds especially need to know how the preacher is doing. Does he need some time off to rest his mind and soul? Is he able to save money and invest for the future. “We pay him, don’t we?” is not enough. I have seen that many a preacher is gifted in the word of God, but they know so little about personal finance. No one has ever taught that to him. Many a young preacher lives with the silent fear that he could be fired or replaced without any real reason or notice. Shepherds can take away that fear. They can help assure the preacher. One of our wonderful shepherds, who has since moved, would ask me on a regular basis, “How can we shepherds make your life easier?” Wow. No one asks that. He did. And, just by asking that, it encouraged me so much.
Third, having deep conversations not only can bring souls together, it can head off frustration, departures and trouble. It shouldn’t be just between a preacher and a shepherd, but among any of us. Getting to know each other, reaching deeply into our hearts, you’ll find a treasure of encouragement, hope and love. These kind of conversations can’t take place as we pass by each other going out the door of the church building. They take effort and time. We have to want to have these conversations. And, running through all of this is a blessed tie that binds us together, and that is the Lord. Without Jesus, we’d likely not know each other. Without Jesus, these conversations would never take place. But because of Jesus, what a wealth of friendships we have throughout the kingdom.
Exit interviews—neat concept. One doesn’t have to exit to have these.
Roger
