Jump Start # 3564

Luke 15:28 “But he became angry, and was not willing to go in; and his father came out and began entreating him.”

That brother of the prodigal son thought he was so different than his wild and wayward brother, but he wasn’t. He thought he was hand-in-hand with the father, but he wasn’t. He thought he was better than the prodigal because he hadn’t wasted all the inheritance, but he wasn’t.

The father goes out to the older brother, very similar as he ran out to the prodigal. But there are two major differences that take place. When the prodigal began his remorseful apology, the father interrupted him. He called for the sandals, robe and ring. He ordered the best beef to be slaughtered and cooked.

When the older brother speaks to the father, it’s a different tone. He verbally assaults and insults the father. And, the father lets this son say his piece. He doesn’t interrupt him. Sorrow fills the prodigal’s heart. Anger fills the heart of the older brother. Both are loved by their father. Both are lost. Both need the father. One learned that lesson the hard way. One never learned that lesson.

This powerful parable was used to answer the charge that Jesus was keeping company with sinners. He was. He came for that reason, to save the lost. The Pharisees have no mercy for the likes of prodigals. Their sins are so obvious. They are so far from God. But in this, the Pharisees cannot see that they are like the prodigal’s brother. Nor can they see that they too are so far from God. And, one thing that they would never want to hear is that they are very much like the prodigal. The two sons in Luke 15 were very much alike. Both were lost. One in the far county and one at home. One was lost in rebellion and one was lost in self-righteousness.

It’s easy to view these two sons as being so different, but they weren’t. They were both lost, just in different ways. Rather than rejoicing that his brother was home, the older son, refused to acknowledge the relationship, the fellowship and extend any forgiveness towards the prodigal. He wanted nothing to do with him. And, in so doing, he revealed that he was so unlike his Father. And, that’s what Jesus wanted the Pharisees to see. You think you have it all together, by following the law, but they had no mercy for others. They had no concern for those who had made terrible choices in their lives. And, they had no patience for those who were not like them.

I have preached and preached this parable. I have written dozens of Jump Starts on this parable. And, every time I hear some preach on this, as I did the other day, my eyes are opened to new aspects that I have never seen before.

Let’s look at the father in this story, from the perspective of a father. He represents God. He is the gracious, merciful God who is quick to forgive. That’s the point of the parable. But pull back a moment and look at this from the standpoint of a dad. Two boys. Two boys who really do not like each other, at least one doesn’t. Two boys who took different paths in life. One went off and was wild. Maybe drugs. Maybe sexually immoral. Flunked out of college that you were paying for. Totaled many cars through the years. Irresponsible. No direction. Living as if there was no God.

The other stayed nearby. Hard working. Paying his bills. Goes to church. The picture of a good son, but he has an attitude. He is quick to judge those who different. He’d rather cut people out of his life than help them. Without saying it, he feels that he is better than most people.

Some lessons:

First, as a dad, as a parent, your work doesn’t stop when they graduate from high school. Your role changes but you are always guiding, influencing and trying to point them to Jesus. It may feel like it was easier when they were eight-years-old and you could send them to their rooms, but now you reason with them as adults and you reason with them through Scriptures.

The father in Luke 15 was active in both of the lives of those two sons. The father runs to the prodigal. He knows it’s not the time for a lecture, but a moment for grace. He hugs and kisses that wayward boy. He then leaves the party for the prodigal to go talk to the other son. This time he realizes it is time for patience and sound reasoning. He extends that. His work with his sons wasn’t over.

Second, I wonder if the father felt like he had failed some how. How did one son become so worldly and the other son so judgmental. The father wasn’t like either one of those. What could he had done differently? Yet, putting this story back into the context, what more could God had done for those Pharisees? They had the law. They had the prophets. They used them to build a neat little safe religion that made them feel they were better than others. The story of Rahab. The story of David seating Saul’s grandson at his table. The story of the servant girl and Naaman. All of those ought to have touched the heart of the Pharisees but it didn’t.

Third, I expect it was much harder trying to work with the older son than it was the prodigal. The prodigal came to his senses. He realized he messed up big time. He came home broken and sorrowful. The older brother wasn’t there yet in his heart. He didn’t see that he had done anything wrong. He didn’t see that he too, needed to repent and needed mercy. He didn’t see that he was wrong. Not at all. It would be much harder and longer working through those attitudes of the older son.

And, through all of this, we ought to see ourselves. There are days we are with the prodigal in the pig pen. May we ever learn from those sins. There are days that we stand with the older brother, arms crossed, snug look on our faces, and a cold and closed heart to others. May God forgive us for that. There are days when we hate to admit that we are like everyone else. Then there are opportunities for us to be like the Father, gracious, merciful and helpful. May we strive to always be like that.

Powerful, powerful, story. May God help us to be more like Him.

Roger

Jump Start # 2026

Luke 15:28 “But he became angry and was not willing to go in; and his father came out and began pleading with him.”

Our verse today comes from the end of the powerful prodigal son parable. A wonderful day, because the prodigal finally came home, turns sour because the elder brother refused to accept and forgive his brother. The elder brother represents the Pharisees and the scribes who were grumbling at the beginning of this chapter because Jesus ate with sinners. They stood with the elder brother.

 

Among all the great lessons layered in this parable we find one of having a hard conversation with someone. The father went out to the elder brother. He left the celebration to convince the elder brother to join them. It is in the shoes of the father, having those hard conversations, that we want to look at today.

 

There are many forms of these difficult conversations and they happen all throughout our lives:

 

• Parents must have them with their children. It’s more than the grades, it’s their behavior, attitude and the choices that they are making. It’s who they are hanging out with. It’s the time they are spending on social media. Often these conversations become a test of the wills and too many times leads to a battle.

 

• The spiritual, according to Galatians, was to restore one caught in a trespass (6:10).

 

• The Lord said that if someone sinned against us that we were to go to that person and show him his fault (Mt 18:15).

 

• A factious man was to be warned, not only once, but twice. If he continued his course, he was to be rejected (Titus 3:10).

 

• In a marriage, one’s behavior may be hurting the other. They may not realize it. A conversation must take place.

 

• There is a time when grown children must have a conversation with a parent about moving into assisted living. The parent doesn’t want to go and the parent doesn’t feel that it’s needed.

 

• An employee has to have a conversation with his boss about unethical practices at the company. No one else seems to be bothered by what is going on. He doesn’t want to be seen as a whistle blower, but he can not continue to participate in things he feels are wrong.

 

• A friend is making wrong choices. They are flirting with someone that they are not married to. You seem to be the only one who sees red flags. You feel compelled to say something.

 

• As a member in a congregation, you see the leadership making choices that are not wise and more than that, they are not Biblical. They are in violation of Scripture. Everyone else seems to go along with it, but you. Something has to be said. It seems to fall to you to speak to them.

 

All of these situations involve having a tough conversation. It’s not easy. These things keep us up at night. We think about what and how to say things. We imagine the conversations in our minds. We are scared because we know things may not be taken well. In some of these situations, a friendship may end, a job may be lost, you may be asked to leave a congregation, you may the bad guy in the family. We often want someone else to have this conversation, but there is no one. No one in the church steps up. No one in the family steps up. No one. Why me, you wonder. Why do I have to be the one to have this conversation?

 

It is easy to talk about these things to others, rather than going to the person we truly need to talk to. We sometimes drag our feet with these things. We hope that someone else will do it for us. But sooner or later, we recognize that if we don’t say something, nothing will change. Most of us have had many of these conversations. Each time, it’s hard. You’d think after a while, it gets easier, it really doesn’t. Here are some things to keep in mind.

 

First, your love for the Lord, and what is right and that person is what compels you to say something. It often can seem like you are on their case, but you are driven by love. If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t say anything. You care, and for that reason, you can’t remain silent. It is good to remember that and to express that. We are saying what we are saying, because we want the best for you.

 

Second, find the right time and place for this discussion. Turn the TV off. Get a setting that will allow you time. This isn’t a drive-by conversation. The person you are talking to will most likely reject what you say at first. They will dig their heels in and defend themselves. They may even counter attack you. They need to time to hear what you are saying. Speak clearly. Speak kindly. Repeat. Be specific. Give evidence. Don’t threaten. Don’t go in with guns blazing. Your attempt is to make things better. Your goal is to save and help someone.

 

Third, pray. Pray before you go. Pray as you speak. Pray as they speak back. Pray for right words, open hearts and God’s help. Pray that you do not come across as arrogant or a know-it-all. The person may turn the subject on you. They may try to dodge the issue and switch subjects. Don’t chase rabbits in the conversation. Stick to the issue at hand. Don’t destroy the person and don’t attach the person. Deal with what is wrong and present ways to make things better. Your tone and your spirit has much to do with this. Going in angry, will produce the same response in return. No one likes to be attacked. No one likes to feel that they are being ganged up on. Keep before you the golden rule. How would you want someone to come to you?

 

Fourth, be careful in making demands. If we have been hurt, we may demand an apology. You probably won’t get a genuine one that way. We can demand a change of action. That may not happen. Walk them through what can make things better. Help them come to the conclusion that you have. Don’t make this all about you. Put the Lord, His word, what is right, in your lineup of reasons why one needs to change. In a you vs. me situation, we often will lose. However, when the battle is between what is best or right vs. them, the discussion takes on a higher level.

 

Fifth, be patient. We’d love for things to turn after one conversation. Sometimes they do. Many times they don’t. A person has to let what you said stir around in their head and heart. They have to see that you care about them. It may take a while to see results. Keep praying. Keep caring. There may be follow up discussions.

 

The father went out to his son and began pleading for him to come in. Did the elder son listen? Did he go in? Was the father convincing? The parable ends. The parallel to the Pharisees and the life of Jesus didn’t go so well. Many of them were not convinced. Many would not follow. Many turned to crucify Jesus. But there were some. Paul was one who believed. He listened and was convinced.

 

Many of us are stubborn. It’s hard to move us. It’s hard to convince us and change us. You realize the difficulties that are faced when having those hard conversations with others.

 

I hope these thoughts help. As we journey on, there will be more and more difficult conversations, and “come to Jesus” talks, as we commonly express those things. Shepherds of God’s people must be able to do this. It’s part of what they do. They care and that’s why they try to get some of us away from dangers in life.

 

Love, courage and faith is what drives us to go out and plead with others to come in.

 

Roger

 

Jump Start # 1092

Luke 15:28 “But he was angry and was not willing to go in; and his father came out and began pleading with him.”

  We continue on with forgiveness. We can’t say enough about forgiveness. We live in times when people do not forgive. They get a gun and shoot people, saving the final bullet for themselves. They are angry with their mates, their co-workers and the system. Vengeance, getting even, settling the score—that drives movies and that is how too many have accepted as the way to go.

 

God’s people are to be different. Forgiveness is the banner under which we march. As we stated yesterday, forgiveness is hard, doesn’t make sense and is counter to human nature. Letting go and releasing when you have been hurt, when you have not gotten things back to where they should be, when it will cost you, flies in the face of all reason and sense. Why should I, is a fair question to ask. The answer of course, is that Jesus forgave you. The answer is remembering the Cross and His blood for what you did.

 

Our verse today comes from the story of the prodigal son. In many ways both boys were lost, one in the far country and one at home. The father in the story races out to the returning prodigal. At the end of the parable, the father leaves the celebration inside to go entreat the elder son who is outside. The father wanted both boys sitting at the table in the house.

 

The passage today shows the disposition of the elder brother. He was angry. He dug his heels in and refused to go in. He was having nothing to do with the prodigal. He refused to acknowledge relationship. He called him “this son of yours.” He was his brother, but he didn’t want any part of that.

 

All of this reminds us that forgiveness is a choice. It is not automatic nor can it be demanded upon a person. It is actually even that way with God. The Almighty does not owe us forgiveness. He does not have to forgive. We forget that sometimes. We flippantly think that “I can always ask God for forgiveness.” That statement shows arrogance, a lack of Biblical understanding, and taking advantage of God. He does not have to forgive you. It is His choice, not your RIGHT. Your attitude, your seriousness about leaving the sin, your desire to follow Him are all involved with forgiveness. God loves and is compassionate, but is not a fool to be used and taken advantage of.

 

Now, the same applies to us. Forgiveness is a choice. When we choose to forgive, we are walking in the steps of the Savior. When we don’t forgive, we invite bitterness, ill feelings and a strained relationship to take over our hearts. Should I forgive? Yes, you should. Do I have to? No, you don’t. When you don’t the pain, the hurt, the sorrow continues. Healing cannot take place until you release and forgive. Bitterness grows uglier with time. Bitterness can consume a person. Sour, negative, mean, unkind, unthankful, selfish—these are all the ugly cousins that move in when bitterness takes over. And that’s exactly what happens. Bitterness takes over. It takes over the way you think, the way you feel, the way you worship, the way you see things. The lens of bitterness is dark and dirty. You feel compelled to tell everyone, even strangers, how you were wronged. This becomes the theme of your life. The people at church know about it. It’s repeated at family gatherings. Co-workers know you story. You simply cannot let it go and it gets a hold of you.

 

Yes, forgiveness is a choice. It’s the right choice. It’s the choice that leads to healthy thinking and righteous living.

 

The question is always asked, “If the other person doesn’t say he’s sorry, then I do not have to forgive. To forgive without an apology, is something that God wouldn’t even do.” I’ve noticed that those who stand behind that statement are looking for approval. They are hoping that they don’t have to forgive. They look with great anticipation that they can continue being in the bitter mode toward the offender. I don’t see that in Scriptures. Ephesians 4:31-32 shows the two sides. When we don’t forgive we have bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor and slander. When we do forgive, we can be tender-hearted and kind to others. The two are opposites: bitter or kind. Tender-hearted or angry. The difference is forgiveness. I don’t see God approving of me having bitterness because someone refuses to say he’s sorry. I am allowed to be angry until he decides that he is ready to apologize? The offender then, is allowed to continue to hurt and the pain continues. When, and only when he is ready to apologize, then I am released from this bondage of wrong. I don’t see that. That’s not the gist of the New Testament. You’ll not see that in Jesus. Upon the cross, while the soldiers were gambling beneath Him, He prayed for their forgiveness. Jesus didn’t die with bitterness.

 

Forgiveness is the bridge that unites strained relationships. It is the hope for a future together with someone. Forgiveness is burying the wrong in an unmarked grave and then not returning to the grave with flowers. It’s letting it go. It’s releasing. It’s a choice. My forgiving someone does not mean that they are right with God. They must take it up with the Lord. My forgiving someone is as much about me as it is the wrong that they did. It’s about my recover, my attitude, my putting away anger and bitterness. My restoration to right with the Lord.

 

Be miserable or forgive and move on. Forgiveness is one sided. You can forgive even though the other person isn’t through hurting you. Restoration takes two sides. It takes both parties to restore a friendship or to restore trust.

 

Forgiveness is a choice. God chose to forgive you. He didn’t have to. Now can you do the same? Isn’t it about time?

 

Roger

 

 

Jump Start # 882

 

Luke 15:28 “But he was angry and refused to go in. His father came out and entreated him”

 

Any study of the parable of the prodigal son must include not just the prodigal and the father, but the older brother. This is a key part of this story. The father actually had two lost sons. One was lost in the far country and the other was lost at home. The prodigal came to his senses and realized he was lost and needed to come home. The older brother never came to his senses. The older brother represents the Pharisees who were critical of Jesus for eating with sinners. They avoided and shunned such people. Jesus accepted and welcomed them. Jesus acted like the father. The Pharisees acted like the older brother.

 

The older brother acts like many Christians. His words and actions reflect jealously, bitter feelings and a resentment towards the prodigal. Notice what the context shares with us:

 

• He was angry
• He refused to go in
• He complained to the father
• He felt cheated and neglected
• He refused to acknowledge a relationship with the prodigal. He called him, ‘Your son,’ not ‘my brother.’

 

The same father that ran out to the prodigal, must now leave the celebration and the feasting to go out and talk to the elder brother. I feel for that father. Both of his sons have issues. Neither of his sons act like he does. The older brother feels sorry for himself. He makes a great contrast in the way he has been treated. He claims he never got a young goat to celebrate with his friends, but the prodigal got the fattened calf. Goat and calf—big difference.

 

The older brother failed to count his blessings. He failed to see the rich relationship that he had with the father. The very thing that brought the prodigal home, the elder brother had, but didn’t appreciate.

 

The Pharisees had a deep love for the law of God. They had twisted their traditions and sprinkled their opinions through all of their faith, yet they grasped righteousness, law, authority and God. The sinners, whom Jesus was associating with, trashed God’s law. They disregarded the authority of God. They walked where the prodigal walked. The Pharisees, like the older brother in this parable, ought to have a great love for God. Instead, they felt cheated. They felt wronged. They could not do what Jesus was doing. They had no place for repentant sinners. Their way was to avoid, exclude and reject.

The same grace that the prodigal received, had been given to the elder brother. He lived with the blessings of the father. The father said, “all that is mine is yours.” The love, acceptance, comfort and security of home was there for the older brother, except he didn’t enjoy them. He wanted them and no one else, especially this rebel brother of his, to have the same. It didn’t seem fair, nor right to him.

There is a huge lesson for us. I see far too many walking in the steps of the older brother. For some reason, those who have been given grace and a second chance by God have a hard time extending that to others. We need God’s love and grace. But when others have trashed their lives, we want to throw the book at them. Why?

 

Remember Jonah? That’s where he stood. He was glad God didn’t let the whale digest him. Yet he still had a hard time giving Nineveh a second chance. Why? Remember the parable about the servant who was forgiven of a debt of 10,000 talents? His master felt compassion and released him from that debt. This same servant turned to a fellow servant who owed just a little bit, and beat him. Why could he not extend grace? He had been given grace.

 

We can be like this more than we want to admit. A young person acknowledges mistakes and sins in their life and instead of tears of joy and hugs, there are looks and whispers. The talk becomes gossip and we find ourselves standing outside the house with the older brother. He has a lot in common with many of us. We don’t like to see others getting attention after they have messed up. We don’t like to see grace for them. Throw them out. Lecture them. Throw the book at them. That would make many of us happy. But when there is a ring, robe, sandals and a celebration, we get bitter and grumpy and find ourselves outside the house.

The older brother refused to acknowledge a fellowship that God included. He would not claim the prodigal as a family member. That narrow, hateful and mean spirit is the very reason why some prodigals do not come home. They would, but they know how they would be treated. Could some of us be responsible for some staying away from God? Might we be the reason that a bridge cannot be built with God? Prodigals know the looks, the whispers, the gossip. They already feel bad. The church will only make them feel worse.

 

Shame on us for being like that. Shame on the older brother. Shame on the Pharisees. Every time a prodigal comes home we have the choice to act like the father or to be the older, obnoxious brother. Which will it be?

 

We are not told in this story if the older brother every got it. We don’t know if he went into the house. We wonder what he said to the prodigal the next day. Would their relationships be strained forever? You’d hope that the goodness of the father would rub off on them. It’s something that they would have to choose.

 

Two final thoughts:

 

1. Don’t let older brothers keep you from doing right. Don’t let the whispers, the looks, the attitudes of others keep you from God and Heaven. Many returning prodigals are closer to the father than those who have been at home all the time. Many church members may find out some day that they are not as saved as they think they are. I’ve seen the hurt that prodigals feel from those who ought to be embracing them. It angers me. It’s so wrong. Don’t let anyone keep you from Heaven. Don’t let a preacher keep you from Heaven. Don’t let a church keep you from Heaven. Don’t let yourself keep you from Heaven. Home with God is where you need to be. Recognize your mistakes. Come home a changed and different person. Your Father is looking for you every day. Home is where you need to be.

 

2. Let us never forget that all of us have been prodigals in our life. All of us have sinned. All of us have fallen short. Step up and be the forgiving one to the prodigals in church and in your family. Look for them and run out to them. Embrace them. Let them know that they are loved. The older brothers around you may frown upon what you do. They may talk about you as well as the prodigal. They may not come around if you have the prodigal in your home. So be it. It is their loss. You do what is right. You follow the example of Jesus. They accused Jesus. He kept on doing what is right. They wanted Jesus to shun the sinners. Jesus wouldn’t do that. They wanted Jesus to be like they were. He wouldn’t do that. The prodigals need people who will accept them and forgive them. They need someone who shows that they care. They need someone who will give a celebration. Can you do that? Can you overcome the attitudes around you and do what is right?

 

This ends our look at the prodigal son. We are in that story. It is our story. It is how God treats us, forgives us and loves us. God is good. God is forgiving. God can make right of the messes we have made. The prodigal son is a picture of God. This is what God looks like.

I will be putting this series together in a booklet. If you would like a free copy, email me at, Rogshouse@aol.com

Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to come back home to you!

Roger