Jump Start # 1091

Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”

  Forgiveness is hard. It is the most Christ like characteristic found in the Bible. A person can be generous and still ungodly. A person can help the hurting. A person can serve and not have the heart of Jesus. It is nearly impossible to forgive and not be like Christ.

Forgiveness is the reason Jesus came. He came to seek and save that which is lost. That involved the cross and that offered forgiveness. Forgiveness follows grace. Forgiveness isn’t letting go after the debt is paid. There’s nothing left, when that happens. Forgiveness is letting it go when something is still owed. It is releasing the debt.

Forgiveness is hard to understand. Forgiveness is harder still to apply. Jonah struggled with this. The elder brother in the story of the prodigal struggled with this. The forgiven servant struggled with this toward a man who owed him. We want to be forgiven but we have a hard time forgiving others. In the sample prayer that Jesus illustrated in Matthew 6, the one statement that He clarified and added additional thought involved forgiving others. If you don’t forgive, Jesus said, neither will the Father forgive you. Serious business is forgiveness.

There are three aspects of forgiveness. All of them are complicated and need to be understood.

First, God forgiving us. Doesn’t make a lot of sense that He does that, but He does. He loves us. He forgives not because we are so valuable to the kingdom, nor that we are so cute and adorable. He chooses to forgive. Forgiveness is always a choice. Forgive or get even. Forgive or remember. Forgive or revenge. God wants to forgive. Our trust and faith in Him, our coming home as the prodigal does, is the bridge upon which forgiveness is built and we can have access to the Father.

Second, forgiving others is hard. When hurt, we want blood. When hurt, we want someone to pay. Is it any wonder that there are so many lawsuits today. Forgiveness isn’t high on people’s list of things. They want money. They want to others to hurt like they hurt. Forgiving others is hard. Peter thought forgiving seven times was pushing the limits of generosity. Jesus said, “Seventy times seven.” Keep forgiving. Our verse today emphasizes the need to forgive “Even as” God has forgiven us. Have you noticed how God forgives? There isn’t a limit to how many times. There isn’t a limit on the same sin. God continues to forgive the broken and contrite heart. We are to forgive EVEN AS God forgives. Forgiveness costs. Forgiveness is hard. Without forgiveness there is no relationship.

Third, forgiving self can be the hardest. We expect more of self. We remember. We won’t let things go. Even after God has forgiven us, some of us continue to beat ourselves up. We refuse to enjoy the blessings of God because we do not feel that we deserve them. We turn down the offer for the best robe, the sandals, the ring and the meal of the fattened calf. We refuse to come inside. We stay outside. We stay in the barn. We walk along with long faces and downcast eyes. We looked and feel defeated. We refuse to let it go. This is a huge issue among many of us. We do not get back to business with God because we let Him down. The problem is faith. The problem is not forgiving ourselves. The problem is not believing that God forgives.

What can we do? First, believe the Scriptures. God promises. We need to trust the promises of God. We need to see that God still believes in us. God did not throw Jonah away. He could have kept him in the belly of the whale and allowed him to be digested. No more Jonah. God could have found another prophet. He didn’t. He didn’t give up on Jonah. The same is said of Paul. The killer of Christians could have been exiled  from God’s people. He wasn’t. The same could be said of each of us. We have let God down. We have served self instead of Him. We have been cowards when we should have spoken out. We have hid our lights under the basket. God hasn’t given up on us. He hasn’t closed the door on us. He’s looking. He’s wanting to forgive. He has forgiven. Now, do we believe that?

Our sins and failures can help others from doing the same thing. We hide our sins. We don’t like to talk about them. But those very mistakes are teachable moments. They can help us to help others. We learn when we went wrong. Now forgiven. Now useful in the kingdom. Now, using those dark moments, help others.

Forgiveness is not a feeling. Not everyday as a Christian will be jumping up and down like Tigger. Some days are plain and normal. Some days are hard. Some days are lonely. Are we forgiven? Yes. Forgiveness is not based upon feelings, but faith and trust in God.  Maybe we don’t think we are forgiven, because we “don’t feel forgiven.” Forgiveness is not like love. That first, young love, you can’t eat, sleep or think about anything but the one you are in love with. Forgiveness is not like that. If you are looking for that, you’re mistaken and may never “feel forgiven.”

Forgiveness is a relationship. Sins removed, we are now one with God again. That’s the basis of forgiveness. A price was paid, the blood of Jesus, to restore us back to God. No longer enemies, no longer separate, no longer not on speaking terms, God views the forgiven as His family. We belong to Him. That is a wonderful relationship.

Also understand that I can forgive myself, but that doesn’t mean I’m right with God. I must seek the mercy of God. I can be forgiven by others. That doesn’t mean I’m right with God. I must seek to be right with God first. Before I forgive myself. Before I seek the forgiveness of others. God first. He’s the one I have hurt the most. He’s the one that I belong to. Seek God’s forgiveness. Then work on others and finally self.

Forgiveness is hard…we can do it because God said so.

Roger

Jump Start # 792

Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”

We continue our series on the things that God expects of His people. God always goes for the higher, nobler and better things. It takes time to develop into the people that God wants us to be. The quick and easy is not always the best. This series has shown that God expects us to be strong, faithful, obedient, a worshipper and an influencer. Today, we add yet another aspect to what God expects. He expects us to have a character of quality.

Our passage from Ephesians shows the kind of heart that God wants us to have. These qualities come from the heart. They are attitudes and choices that we develop from having spent time in God’s word. The Bible has an affect upon us. It influences us. It leads us to mold our heart and our mind to be more like Jesus.

Paul began this section by telling the Ephesians what they ought to leave or put aside. A person cannot decide to be kind while still holding on to sorry attitudes, sour dispositions and a “me-first” will in life. Paul says to put away all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, slander and malice. Those things darken our spirit, destroy our influence and drive Christ out of our hearts.

When we put those two verses together we learn some remarkable lessons. On one side there is bitterness, anger, wrath. On the other side is kindness. On one side there is clamor and slander. On the other side there is tenderness. On one side there is malice. On the other side there is forgiveness. These contrasts are connected. There seems to be a common thread running through those attitudes. They are all responses to how others have treated us. These are relationship words. Someone has done wrong to us. We can be bitter or kind. We can seek revenge or forgive. God expects us to take the higher road when others have been unkind to us. Those people may be family members. They may those in the congregation. They may be those in the community. It seems especially, when Paul uses the expression, ‘Be kind to one another,’ that he is driving at relationships among brethren. We hurt each other sometimes. We can be uppity toward one another. We can avoid. We can stare. We can whisper about others. We gossip. High class people can act very low class sometimes. These things injure and hurt. Sometimes it is intentional. Other times it is an accident. Either way, hurt feelings, rejection, shunning, stings our souls. We ought to treat each other better. God would expect that. But we often don’t. What then?

Human nature tells us to respond in the way it was given. If someone has ignored you, ignore them back. If someone gossips about you, gossip about them. If they are going to throw mud, get in there and defend yourself and throw some back. Don’t be bullied. Stand up. Pop the guy in the chops if you have to. Those thoughts and feelings are how many of us were raised. This is what we see in the work place and in the neighborhood. Everyman for himself. It’s a dog eat dog world, so dig in and stand for yourself. WRONG! Not any longer. You are a Christian. God expects differently from you, even when you have been poorly treated.

Peter tells us that Christ left us an example of suffering. He uttered no threats. No deceit was in His mouth. He committed no sin. He did not revile in return. God expects better from us, even when we have endured the worst in human behavior.

Among each other God expects kindness, tenderness and forgiveness. Does this mean I allow another Christian to abuse me, take advantage of me or bully me? No. When a Christian sins against you, go to him and discuss this. He may repent right there. If he doesn’t, God tells us to take two or three with us. If he repents, all is well. If he doesn’t, then take it to the church. These are the words of Jesus in Matthew 18.

What God doesn’t want is for you to become mean, bitter, ugly, hurtful because someone has been that way to you. There is a way to handle things. There is a way NOT to handle things.

Forgiveness or bitterness is a choice. Kindness or wrath is a choice. They are responses to ugly things that have happened to us. God expects us to choose the nobler qualities. This isn’t easy. It’s a piece of cake to be kind to someone who is first kind to you. Anyone can do that. Only a nut would be mean to someone who is kind. However, being kind to someone who is unkind, now that’s a different story. That’s what God is expecting.

It helps to pray about the situation. It helps to invite God to help you do right, think right and be right. It helps to ask God to open the door of the heart of the person who is hurting you. There is never a right time to do wrong! Never. There is never a right time when ugly attitudes are the right choice. Never. There is never the right time when hurting someone else is the right choice. Never.

The beatitudes, the fruit of the Spirit, the virtues of a Christian all illustrate the type of heart that God expects in His people. Patience, kindness, self-control must be at the helm of our heart. Those will guide us to right choices, right words, and right attitudes. In a perfect world, every treats everyone with love and kindness. Heaven is a perfect world. Down here, it is not. Down here we have folks with chips on the shoulders. There are those who are not trying very hard. There are those who haven’t figured out if they are with Jesus or not. There are those who are some days selfish and inconsiderate. There are days that I’m like that. Shouldn’t be, but it happens. There are days that others are that way to me. Shouldn’t be, but it happens. The choice is up to us to as to how we are going to respond.

God expects you…God expects me to have that character of godliness.

Roger