Jump Start # 3410

Proverbs 31:11-12 “The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he wil have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.”

Yesterday in our Jump Starts we listed “Ten things Older Christians ought to tell Younger Christians.” That came from a series of lessons that I preached a few years ago, called ‘Ten Things.’ Well, let’s keep that flow going and today consider “Ten Things that Can Help Your Marriage.”

Boy, this is needed today. So many marriages are anything but what they should be. Divorce continues to conquer too many and our culture has given up on marriage. Why even try, is where many are at these days. God’s people must do better. We have a better path to follow. We have a better help for our marriages.

Our passage today, taken from the last chapter of Proverbs, is commonly known as the virtuous woman. These are the words of a mom to her son about the quality of a woman to have as a wife. Notice in these verses the dual relationship. He trusts her and she treats him good. Like a circle, like a wedding ring, the more they pour into the other, the more the other this continues. Trust and goodness, those are the backbones of a great relationship. Trust with finances. Trust what is said to others. Trust when apart. And, doing good. Helping out. Trying to make things better. Trust and goodness—together it helps a marriage.

Here’s my list of Ten Things that can Help Your Marriage:

1. Understand that you both shape your marriage the way it is.
2. Realize that Satan will do all that he can to wreck your marriage.
3. Forgiveness is never a one-time thing.
4. Don’t expect perfection, because you are not perfect.
5. Biblical love is a choice, not a feeling.
6. Your memory is like a file folder. You keep what you put in there.
7. We need to be there for one another when the storms come.
8. Appreciate that as we age, we change.
9. Marriage is lived one day at a time.
10. Christ makes all the difference.

Reminders—we need them. Life can get so busy and we can become so occupied with the things that need to get done that we take one another for granted. Kids. Pets. Jobs. Church. And before long, one is stretched like a rubber band. And, you know, if you stretch that band too far, it’ll break. And the same thing can happen in our marriages.

There are many stressful moments in life. There are many stressful moments in a marriage. The passing of parents. Tight budgets. Teens. Filled schedules. Pressures from work. The slipping away of dreams that will not come true. And, for some reason, the person we love the most, we often say the meanest things to. The troubles of life can pull a couple apart.

So, the key is to make time for one another. It is important to pull together and not apart. Pray for your mate and pray with your mate. Don’t feel like you have to do what everyone else does. That’s true in your family, in your neighborhood and in the congregation. Find what works for you and stick close to the Lord.

The longer you are together, the deeper and richer your love becomes for each other. You become an example for your children. You become an example to those in the church. Together, be servants of God. Together, help others. Together, grow in the Lord.

The closer you become to Christ, the richer and better all relationships become, including marriage.

Here are some further suggestions:

First, be proactive. Don’t wait for the other to start things. Often one will be willing to step things up, if only the other person started first. You be the first. When you see something that needs to be done, do it. We men can walk through life with blinders on. We come home and sit in our favorite chair, as our wives walk in with grocery bags in both arms, having come straight from work, to a house that has laundry to be done, dishes to be put away and she sees us sitting in our chair watching TV. That’s enough to burn the bacon. Don’t wait to be told there are things to be done. Open your eyes. Look around. Be thoughtful. Be helpful. Learn to do good.

Second, don’t let little things come between you. Remember the big picture. Remember you are in this for a lifetime. The things that bothered you five years ago, have settled and you have moved on. Don’t allow things to be the reason you hurt each other verbally.

Third. Your greatest help is in your mate get to Heaven. No one knows you better than your mate does. Listen to each other. Talk kindly to each other. Forgive each other. Be an encourager, not a stumbling block. Be the reason your mate wants to go to worship and live for Christ. Grow together and grow upward in the Lord.

Ten Things to help your marriage. What would be on your list?

Roger