Jump Start # 1848

Proverbs 31:1 “The words of King Lemuel, the oracle which his mother taught him.”

Sunday is Mother’s Day. People are busy buying cards, ordering flowers and getting things ready for Mom’s special day. Moms come in all sizes and in all kinds. There are good moms and not so good moms. There are birth moms, adoptive moms, step-moms and even grand-moms, that we call grandma. Many of us preachers will be working up lessons about moms, home and family for Sunday. We need those reminders.

Our verse today is one such reminder. We remember Proverbs 31 as the chapter about the worthy or virtuous woman. There we find the great qualities and characteristics of a woman who is devoted to her family and her God. What is often forgotten in all of this is our verse today. It sets the tone. King Lemuel was recalling the words which is mother taught him. Proverbs 31 is a mom instructing her son. Proverbs 31 could well be titled, “Mom Said.”

There are three main things that this mom said to her son.

First, she warned him. Moms do that. They warn us about what we eat, how we drive and staying up too late. Lemuel’s mom had two warnings:

(a) about relationships (3). Kings need to know this. Our sons need to know this. Our daughters need to know this. Our relationships can strengthen us or they can lead us into trouble. Kids tend to look only at the exterior. Moms look under the hood. They know about attitudes, character and behavior. Many of us messed up because of our friends. It was our friends who offered us alcohol, drugs or dared us to do something foolish or illegal. Moms know about that. This mom was warning her son. Today’s moms need to do the same. Yes, you’ll preach to your kids. Yes, you’ll harp on things. Yes, you’ll nag them. They will push back, but you keep pushing hard. Why? Because you love them. Because you know.

(b) about alcohol (4-5). This mom warned her son about drinking. Alcohol changes a person, and it’s not for the good. There is a penalty and a price that comes with drinking and often it harms the body and the soul. Mom knew that. This was one king which wasn’t going to drink. Mom had warned. We need to be telling our kids this today. College campuses are producing future drunks and alcoholics. It’s bad. Without guidance, naïve kids stumble and fall and the cost is that many give up on God.

Second, she pushed him to help others (8-9). Moms do that. They volunteer us. A neighbor could use some help and mom sends us. A work day is planned down at the church house and mom thinks we should go. Moms are good at that. Here, Lemuel’s mom wanted him to use his position to help others. Twice the expression, “Open your mouth” is used. Help the little guy. Do what is right. Get off the sidelines and make a difference. Laziness and selfishness are not the characteristics of God’s people. Many of us are driven because that’s the way mom was. Don’t use your position to walk on others, ignore others or be full of yourself. That’s the way most kings are. This mom was building a son who would be different. He would have a heart of kindness. His reign would not be by power and force but rather by leadership. If Lemuel listened to his mom, he would have been a unique and special king. He would have stood alone in history. Use your position to help others. Use your voice to help others. Don’t go along with the status quo, do what is right!

Third, mom wants the best (10-31). Here is where we find the virtuous woman. Mom is showing her son that this is the kind of person you need to marry. A person that will help, not hurt. A person that is not going to embarrass or hinder you. A person that will not be a liability. A person that you can trust, turn to and have confidence in. She would not be a princess but a queen. Yet, her character is one of kindness, hard working and helping others. She would be a match for the way the king is. She would not spend her days trying on outfits, pampering herself, and being a “princess.” She’d be busy helping others. Nothing is said about what this woman looks like. Nothing is said about what her daddy does nor how much money they have. Mom was wanting her son to marry well.

If you could pick out a mate for your child, who would it be? Not a specific person, but what kind of person? What qualities? If you could build a husband for your daughter or a wife for your son, what would you build? Daughters need to marry men who will lead and not be lazy. Daughters need to marry men who know how to get to Heaven. Sons need to marry women who are interested in Heaven, helping others and making a difference. Those who want to open up their home and share with others. Generous. Kind. Helpful. Those that impact a congregation. Those that leave footprints to Heaven. If that is what you want your kids to marry, have you talked to them about that? Have you influenced them? This doesn’t happen after they are engaged. It’s too late. I’ve met too many people that have said about their own kids, “I don’t know why they picked that one.” Why didn’t you have this conversation when they first started dating? These lessons need to begin before the child is old enough to date. Who you date is who you marry. Frogs do not become princes. Frogs give warts. And as you are having this discussion, remind them that they must put something on the plate as well. Our sons and our daughters need to step up and be the people that they should be. Did you notice the way this chapter in Proverbs unfolds before us. Mom tells her son about who he needs to be first. Then she talks about who he needs to find to marry. We forget the first part. We believe our little angels are perfect. Not so. How engaged spiritually are your kids? Do they sit like lumps on a log during worship? Do they ever talk about spiritual things outside of their Bible classes? Are they interested in the people and what is going on at church? Maybe it’s time we poured more attention into who our sons and daughters are becoming. Marrying a dead beat Christian isn’t much better than marrying someone who isn’t a Christian. And all of this comes back to us. How are we doing spiritually? The qualities that Lemuel’s mom was stressing with her son most likely were qualities that she was living herself.

Nothing rips the heart out of a parent than to see their children divorce. There is a pain that just won’t go away. It’s messy, complicated and never easy. When grandkids are involved it becomes more difficult. Divorce effects grandparents. It changes things. It’s ugly and it leaves a lot of scars. This was a mom who was wanting the best for her son.

What is interesting about our verse is that it begins, “The words of King Lemuel…” The king was repeating, remembering and reciting what mom had said years ago. Mom’s words stayed with him. They stuck with him. They found a place in his heart. He remembered. We are not told if Lemuel’s mother was still alive or not when he recited these words. Even if she was no longer living, her words were.

Decades from now, after many of us are gone, our kids and our grandkids may remember and even recite our words. Are you leaving them good oracles as Lemuel’s mother did? Are we telling them things that will make a difference and help them? Are we leaving footprints that lead to Heaven?

Mom said—that’s Proverbs 31.

Roger