Jump Start # 1763

Proverbs 17:10 “A rebuke goes deeper into one who has understanding than a hundred blows into a fool.”

  The other day I passed by a junk yard. There was nothing special about this junk yard except that it sat right along the highway. I have passed this same junk yard many times. But for some reason, on this day, I took a long look at the wrecked autos stacked up there. They were a real mess. Shattered windshields. Caved in roofs. Front ends smashed. You could tell by the weeds around these cars that they had been sitting there for sometime. That image stuck with me. I wondered about the people that were in those cars when they wrecked. I wondered if some didn’t make it. I wondered how others might be doing today. Their cars were toast, but how about their lives? Had they recovered? Were some crippled because of those accidents? Had the people moved on and put the wreck out of their minds? We see the damaged cars, but what about the lives?

This is where our verse comes in today. Rebuke means correcting. For most of us, it started with our mothers who rebuked us. Our moms were trying to shape us into decent human beings and barnyard animals. That’s why she wouldn’t put up with burping at the table or reaching for food without asking for it to be passed. It’s why she made us apologize when we hit our sister or made us share with our little brother. She was on us. Some moms were like drill sergeants. Tough. There was no faking things when it came to mom.

Then we grew up and moved on. Most got married. We got jobs. We are going to church. Rebukes haven’t stop. Some Sundays it seems like the preacher won’t let up. He can really lay it on heavy in his sermons. Co-workers are telling us what we ought to be doing. Friends get on us about stuff. A person can feel like people are always telling me what to do in my life.

Rebukes come because someone feels that you are not doing something right. A correction needs to be made. Some rebukes are mild and simple. You forgot to sign a paper at work. Those things don’t keep you up at night. But there are other rebukes such as, “You don’t spend enough time with the kids.” Or, “You never want to do things with me anymore.” Ouch. Those sting. And they should. That’s the way rebukes work. A person who has understanding, our verse tells us, will allow the rebuke to sink in deeply. It will affect him, change him and improvements will result. The fool laughs it off. The fool argues back. The fool won’t change. It is as if you beat that fool a hundred times. That very thought is painful. About ten times and I’m done—for good and forever. Beat and beat that fool and he won’t change. He won’t get it. Nothing good results from that. The key in this passage is understanding. The one with understanding has hope when he is corrected.

Junk yards and rebukes have something in common. It makes a person wonder what happens to the people later on. Someone corrects you, what happens down the road? Have you become better or bitter about that?  Junk yards do more than just hold broken and wrecked autos. They become a reminder of pain, trouble and changed lives. They are an unfortunate memorial of wrecked lives. There are other kinds of junk yards than just the ugly ones that sit along the highway that are full of rusting cars. There are the junk yards of broken relationships and hurt feelings.

Just as I passed that junk yard the other day and wondered about the people that were involved in those car accidents, we wonder about the families that were part of the church that divorced and quit coming. Their marriage is now junk. Whatever happened to them? We wonder what happened to their kids? Did they turn out ok or were they damaged, crippled and hurt for a long time because of the marriage wreck? What happened?

Then there are those that remember from the past. We moved. They moved. We once worshipped with them. Time and distance have separated us. Whatever happened to them? We wonder if they are still worshipping God?

Then there are those who got upset. Someone said something. Someone rebuked them. Feelings got hurt. Relationships damaged. They pulled away. They dropped out. Did they recover from the things said? Is the wounds still fresh after all these years? Did they ever get over it?

Then there is the person who got upset with something the preacher said in a sermon. He didn’t like what was said. He didn’t agree. He left. He left angry. Another wreck. Another relationship headed to the junk yard. Did he ever think through what he was saying? Did he give up on God all together? Whatever happened?

Went I first left college, I was writing some bulletin articles for a fellow young preacher. We were friends. I moved to another state and stopped writing for him. He put in the back of his bulletin one day, “Whatever happened to Roger?” He put a blurb about where I was living and what I was doing. I thought that was odd to put in a bulletin and even odder the title, “Whatever happened to Roger?” I expect, just as I wonder about some people in my life, they might think the same about me. I wonder if that guy is still preaching? I wonder what happened to his kids?

People pass though our lives. Sometimes, like a meteor streaking across the sky, these moments are short and little impressions are left. Others have become lifelong friends. Others have changed us and influenced us for good. I received an old church directory from the 1960’s of a congregation that I grew up in. Many of the folks have gone on. But there were kids my age. Whatever happened to them?

It’s one thing to correct or rebuke someone. This must be done in kindness, with the golden rule in mind. But what happens to the person who is rebuked? Are they ok? Are they better? Are they destroyed? Have we added another wreckage to the junk yard of relationships?

It’s easy to tell another person what we think he ought to be doing. We can be quick with the rebuke. Maybe we need to do a better job of following up. Maybe we need to try to keep one family from becoming the next relationship tossed upon the junk yard. Think before you speak. Be quick to hear and slow to speak is what James says. Pick your battles carefully. Not everything you disagree with is wrong. It may be a matter of taste or just a different way of doing things. Don’t pick scabs. Don’t being overly judgmental. Point the radar gun at yourself as much as you do others. Pray about the people involved.

There is a place for rebuke. Timothy, the young preacher, was told to reprove and rebuke. I think some like rebuking others. I think some don’t give any thought to what happens after the rebuke. We may be adding to the ugly junk yards of life because we are not as thoughtful or careful as we ought to be.

Whatever happened to…

Roger