Jump Start # 1741

Mark 3:21 “When His own people heard of this, they went out to take custody of Him; for they were saying, ‘He has lost His senses.’”

  Family—you just have to love them. The first people we ever know is our family. We don’t get a say about who are family is. For many of us, one of the greatest blessings has been our family. They have been there for us. They supported us, helped us and molded us into the responsible child of God that we are today. Had it not been for our family, many of us would not be Christians today. For others, family has been a nightmare. Neglectful or abandoned parents. Sibling rivalry. Divorce. An atmosphere of criticism, hatred and put downs. The influence of ungodliness. Dysfunctional adults surrounding you. Broken promises and broken homes. It’s been a struggle for some of us. We overcame thanks to a friend or a spouse that led us to Jesus. Had it been up to our family, we would have never darkened the church building.

Our verse today is about some of the family of Jesus. “His own people,” means His kinsmen. We know from other places in the Gospels that some of Jesus’ family did not initially believe who He was. Mary did. The setting of our verse is that Jesus came home. A massive crowd gathered. There were so many people that they could not eat. This is when His kinsmen came to take Him away. “He has lost His senses,” is a polite way of saying, “He’s nuts.” “He’s crazy.” “He’s loony.” “He doesn’t know what He is saying or doing.” So, family thought it was their responsibility to step in and take Jesus home. All of this “Messiah-talk” will end. Let Him rest. Get Him away from the people. Let things calm down.

Jesus’ kinsmen didn’t understand. They didn’t realize who Jesus was. Their plans to take Jesus home would not fit in with Heaven’s plans for Jesus. The family was wrong.

It is hard when one in the family becomes committed to Christ and wants to follow the Lord with all their heart, but the rest of the family doesn’t want any part of that. How awkward it becomes when the lifestyle of the parents is leading the family away from Christ. The language. The drinking. The lewd jokes. The immoral movies watched. The negative attitudes. The putting down of Christians. And in the midst of all of this misery, rises one who wants to follow the Lord. He may even want to preach. Instead of being encouraged and supported in this wonderful endeavor, he is mocked and ridiculed. He is pressured to pursue a career that will make more money. His family doesn’t get it. As this young man tries to preach the saving message of Jesus Christ to the world, he realizes his own family doesn’t believe in what he is doing.

The holiday season makes it difficult for many disciples. It means coming home and gathering with the family and surrounding yourself with some very toxic relationships. Nutty cousins. A grandma who can pass along the guilt with the best of them. Brothers who act like they are still eight years old. Jealous sisters who try to destroy everything good about you. Parents who are so absorbed in themselves that they don’t acknowledge you. As one grows in Christ, it becomes very clear that he has less and less in common with his family who are not Christians. There gets to be little that they can talk about. The atmosphere is uncomfortable. He is made to feel like he’s the one who is wrong, but he’s not. Home for the holidays can be hard on our faith when the atmosphere is unhealthy for a Christian.

It is easy to find an excuse not to go home, but this is your family. You are expected to be there and you realize that your may be the only one who can show Jesus among this strange group of people that are called your family. What do you do?

• First, you need to go and be there. Not showing up is perceived as you are too good for them. Not showing up will do more harm in the long run.

• Second, pray before you get there. If you have kids, talk to them and prepare them. Have a game plan in mind.

• Third, smile, be upbeat and be kind. Most will ask you very little. They have very little interest in what you are doing. So, take the lead and catch up with the rest of them. You may hear things that turn your stomach. Divorcing. Living together. DUI’s. Arrests. Dishonesty. Cheating the system. It’s enough to make you scream. Making a scene by preaching and condemning the whole group isn’t a productive solution. Turn the conversations to safer topics. One on one, say and do what you can. Suggest coming to worship with you. Offer to sit down and talk at another time. Show concern. Let  them  know that you care.

• Fourth, keep an eye on your kids. Cousins, around the same age, can introduces words and activities that you do not approve of. Your kids may come running to you, declaring in a loud voice, “Tommy, said…”  Kindly remind your kids, “we don’t say that. Find something good to do.” You may have to get up and supervise. That may get you out of the dull, trashy talk that the adults are engaged in.

• Fifth, keep your eye on the time. If it’s getting to be too much, leave. Leave politely. Don’t leave in a huff, with threats to never come back. There is a bigger battle that you are trying to win. People are watching you, even if you don’t realize it.

• Sixth, lead by example. I’ve seen times when the dinner is over, everyone gathers around the TV and poor mom is left in the kitchen to clean up by herself. Jump in there and help her. Be that servant that Jesus talked about. When the conversations turn to gloom and doom, find constructive and positive solutions. Be helpful. Solving the woes of the country is a common conversation piece, but most of us are not in the position to do much about that. Politics, sports and TV shows seem to be the thrust of what most families spend the afternoon talking about. Bring up a great book that you read recently. Talk about something good that is going on in your life. Turn the conversation and lead it to something useful, helpful and beneficial.

• There always seems to be that one obnoxious person in every family. He’s the in-house ‘know it all’ about all subjects, including God and the Bible. He talks loud. He doesn’t even take a breath. He gets on a rant and there is no stopping him. He’ll take pot shots at the church, Christians and the Bible. He’s the self declared expert, and you may be his number one target. He loves to show the failures of Christians. He loves to find inconsistencies in faith. He thrives on contradictions. All of this makes him feel justified for having nothing to do with religion. Don’t take it personal, even though he’s trying to make it that way. It’s not the place for a debate, even though he seems to want to. Let him say what he wants, but end it with a strong positive affirmation about God and His people. This guy doesn’t want to discuss. He is not interested in you talking with him one on one. He’s proud and he knows he is right, even though he’s not. Remember, they thought Jesus lost His senses. He hadn’t. They were wrong. There is a time to speak and a time to be silent, Solomon tells us. I have been in settings like this. It’s not comfortable. Try to say something and Mr. Obnoxious interrupts and dominates the conversation. It’s like watching a talk show on TV when two opposite views are being passionately discussed. Everyone is talking at the same time and nothing can be heard. That’s when I take the remote and try to find the Three Stooges. You may have to say nothing more than, “I don’t see it that way.” Don’t be shaken. Confidence is what the obnoxious person can’t deal with.

• Try not to get too discouraged. You may be the one bright spot in your family. The things that you see that bothers you, can be the motivation to lead your self and your own family in a different direction. So your dad never spent much time with you. Be different and spend time with your kids. You and your siblings never got along. Build relationships among your children. Build a family like God wants you to have.

The family of Jesus thought He had lost His senses. They didn’t realize that they had lost their souls. Your family may think the same of you. It hurts. You wish it could be different and better. Make your home in such a way that people will want to come and be with each other. Make your home warm, loving and Christ like. Your home can be different from the home you grew up in. It’s your choice.

Home for the holidays…Family, you just have to love them.

Roger