Jump Start # 1611

Galatians 2:4-5 “But it was because of the false brethren who had sneaked in to spy out our liberty which we have in Christ Jesus, in order to bring us into bondage. But we did not yield in subjection to them for even an hour, so that the truth of the gospel would remain with you.”

  Paul wouldn’t fit in well with our political correctness, spirit of tolerance and never hurting the feelings of others times that we live in today. Paul tells us so much about these trouble makers. He calls them “false brethren.” He knew their motives and intentions. They had “sneaked in to spy” in order to “bring us into bondage.” That wasn’t going to happen. Paul said “we did not yield in subjection to them for even an hour.” They were not given a platform to speak. They were not given a situation in which everyone gets a chance to say something. No, sir. Not happening here. They were false. They were crooked. They were up to no good. Paul wouldn’t have it.

Conflicts are hard to deal with. Some avoid them at all costs. But avoiding conflicts can be more harmful than engaging in them. Imagine the parent who doesn’t want a battle with her kids. So, she avoids them. The kids rule. The number one reason why people switch jobs has nothing to do with money. It’s all about conflicts with co-workers. We have coined the term, “Toxic relationships” to define what is going on in many work places. It is toxic. It is unhealthy. Some people thrive on conflicts. There are preachers like this. They aren’t happy unless folks are stirred up, upset and some controversy looms on the horizon. How we handle conflicts tells a lot about what we are like on the inside. It’s hard. Some do better at this than others. Some explode like a volcano. Some want to craw in a hole and will allow others to take cheap shots at them that are not only untrue, but unfair and unkind.

It is interesting to search the titles of books on conflict. The titles alone reveal much. Here is a sampling:

– Conflict coaching

– The cowards guide to conflict

– Leashing the dogs of war

– Don’t let the jerks get the best of you

– Thank you for being such a pain

– Working with the enemy

– When bad Christians happen to good people

– Dealing with people you can’t stand

– Bad bosses, crazy co-workers and other office idiots

Wow! The subject of conflict has two sides to look at. First, how to handle criticism from others. Second, how to give criticism that will be helpful. In all of this we must remember that we walk with Jesus. There is never a time that we lay that down. There is never a time to be ungodly. NEVER.

When dealing with the world, remember, they do not play fair, nor by the rules. Doing wrong does not bother them. They will think of self, first, last and always. They do not have a problem hurting you if it helps them. Lying and cheating are a regular part of their lives. Blaming others and criticizing others is easy for them. The result is that the child of God receives harsh treatment that is not right, fair nor just. It’s hard to do what you should when the other person isn’t.

Peter reminds servants to be subject to masters who are “unreasonable” (1 Pet 2:18). Jesus left us an example of being reviled but not reviling in return. He uttered no threats, even though He suffered. He did not become unglued because of the way He was treated.

Years ago I wrote the “Ten Commandments of Conflict.” Here they are:

1. You must remember to act like Jesus

2. Pray for those you are in conflict with

3. Do not sin with your mouth. Think before you speak.

4. Consider what is being said

5. Be careful in answering criticism. Not everything needs to be answered. Remember to have a “gentle answer.”

6. Stick to the issues at hand

7. Get all the facts

8. Practice the golden rule

9. Apologize when you are wrong and offer forgiveness when they apologize

10. Don’t let any situation keep you from Heaven. If that means you must leave a job or a congregation, do so honorably.

We allow the world to turn a good day into a sorry day. We allow others to dictate our moods. We allow others to determine our value and worth. Then there was Paul. He would not give them an hour. He knew it wouldn’t be good. Multiple times in Timothy Paul tells the young preacher to avoid certain questions. They are not constructive. They are not faith building.

Faith in Christ is what will help you deal with conflicts. Will all conflicts be solved decently? No. Will all conflicts turn out in your favor? No. Will everyone agree? No. Will everyone get along? No. Will mean people stop being mean? No. It’s as an old friend used to write in her books, “Pain is inevitable, but misery is optional.” We can choose to be torn up on the inside by toxic people or we can get through it with the help of the Lord. How you handle conflicts may open someone’s eyes up to what Christianity is really like.

It’s hard not being liked. It’s hard to be on the receiving end of jokes that are intended to be cruel and hurting. But none of this compares to the nails that our Lord endured for our sake.

Someday, we will be in a place where there are no conflicts. Today, we are one day closer to Heaven.

Roger