Jump Start # 1293

Ephesians 4:29 “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.”

  In the setting of Ephesians 4, Paul addresses several practical principles that makeup our Christian character. No longer are they to steal. No longer are they to have uncontrolled anger. No longer, as our verse says, are they to speak unwholesome words. Those are all part of the old man that was put away. These are choices. We can help it.

It is interesting that parents will do everything to get their little baby to talk. Then when he grows up and becomes a teenager, those same parents will tell him to be quiet. Unwholesome words—they are not necessarily bad words, such as, cuss words or prejudicial statements. They are words that just don’t help. Get a group of people together and it is very easy for the conversation to turn negative, complaining and dumping on someone who is not even there. It’s easy to pile on with everyone else. Sometimes it feels good to vent and verbally trash someone who is not in our presence. The stories can get wilder and louder and more ugly as the night wears on. It becomes time to go home, and what good have we done? Have we made others better? Have we displayed great character and honor? Would we want others to be telling things about us when we are not there? The honest heart will hang their head in shame. It was fun being with friends, but the conversation wasn’t what it should have been. We joined in abusing some that we like. Like the old West, we got caught up in a mob mentality and we hung an innocent friend with our words.

Unwholesome—we understand that word when it comes to foods. My wife, being the nurse that she is, reads labels on packages. She is careful what she eats. She tries to help me but I keep a drawer of chocolate stashed away. A steady diet of unwholesome foods leads to serious weight and health issues. Unwholesome words do the same. Instead of affecting our waist line, it affects our spiritual hearts. It stunts our spiritual growth. This isn’t something new just to our culture. We find it throughout the N.T. The Pharisees didn’t like anyone who wasn’t one of them. Jews didn’t like Gentiles. Romans didn’t trust Jews. And then comes Jesus on the scene. We find Him inviting a tax collector and a zealot among His apostles. Opposites. We find Him going to the home of tax collectors, such as Zaccheus and Matthew. Then there is Jesus talking to a Samaritan woman. There is Jesus praising the Samaritan leper who returned to thank Him.

Instead of unwholesome, Paul directs us to speak good words, words that edify, words that are proper for the moment, words that give grace. There is that wonderful word, grace. Grace, the gift of God that saves us. Now, God’s people are to extend grace with their words. Words that encourage, not tear down. Words that offer hope, not those that shut and lock the door. Words of patience. Words that assure. God’s words. Good words. Thought out words. That’s not always easy to do. Finding the right word, whether you are writing, preaching or simply talking to someone is hard. It’s hard for those, like myself who tend to talk fast. Fast talkers can talk too much. The brain must lead the mouth. The heart must be ahead of the brain.

Paul says “according to the need of the moment.” Different occasions dictate different words. There are times when sitting, like Job’s friends did for a week, and not saying much is the best option. There are times when you must turn the conversation back to God. There are times when doubt and discouragement leads some to say all kinds of unwholesome things, that you counter with what is good and right. People tend to forget God in a crisis. On a calm, sunny day, we know. But in the midst of the storm, we forget.

The need of the moment, takes us back centuries to Solomon’s words, “there is a time to speak and a time to be silent,” found in Ecclesiastes. Know the time. The hearts of many have been wrecked by cruel things others have said. Sometimes the older a person gets, the shaper their tongue gets. Being retired doesn’t give a person a free ticket to being cranky and bossy. Be careful. In one congregation recently, a visitor came in on a Sunday and sat in a pew. There are no assigned seats. The pews do not have ticket numbers on them. An older member came in and said, “You have to move. You are in my seat.” The visitor left and didn’t come back. The older member ought to be taken to the principal’s office for that. So someone sits in your seat, be glad you even have visitors. And, when did that seat become YOUR seat. Did you purchase a season ticket for that seat? No. LET NO UNWHOLESOME WORD PROCEED FROM YOUR MOUTH—remember? Our judgmental comments can be nothing more than a cover for unwholesome words. Critical of the song leader. Complaining about the temperature of the building, the preacher, the kids, the teenagers, the leadership and on and on we go. Never once thinking, we are in worship and is the need of the moment to talk this way. How about putting your attention on things above. How about looking for good. How about being thankful the congregation has young families and teenagers. How about praising God. How about looking for someone to build up and encourage.

The wisdom literature tells us that life and death are in the tongue. We can destroy someone or offer them hope. Our words matter. How we say things, the way we say things, and what we say, matters. Let no unwholesome word proceed—that means you must put a gate on your mouth. Words don’t just slip out. Have you ever heard someone say that? They say something unkind and people call them on it. Immediately, “I didn’t mean to say that, it just came out.” Really? Why is it that only the bad stuff “just comes out?” We never say, “You are amazing. Oh, I didn’t meant that. It just came out!” No, the slip of the tongue is an excuse for unwholesome words. Don’t let them proceed is what Paul says. You are at the controls. You can allow them to come out or you can stop them.

Speak words of grace. Kind words. Thoughtful words. Words that take a beaten heart and lifts it up. Encouragement is like oxygen to our souls. We need it. We know what’s wrong. Tell us what’s right. Encourage. Build up. Use that mind and tongue to be thoughtful, kind and helpful.

God will give you plenty of opportunities today to speak those wonderful words of grace. It’s done at home. It’s done at the office. It’s done at stores. Your choice—build up or destroy. Words that are unwholesome or words that are grace. Others will make a judgment about you from what you say. Be careful. Be thoughtful.

Roger