Jump Start # 1233

Proverbs 19:19 “A man of great anger will bear the penalty, for if you rescue him, you will only have to do it again.”

  It is interesting how often the Bible addresses the subject of anger. Proverbs tells us not to associate with an angry person, lest we learn his ways. James tells us that anger does not achieve the righteousness of God. Paul said that anger invites the devil and do not let the sun go down upon your anger. Jonah was angry. Cain was angry. The prodigal’s older brother was angry. Naaman was angry.

Our verse tells us that great anger comes with a cost. There is a penalty that the angry man will suffer. His anger will be expressed. He will say and do things that will hurt others. It will catch up with him and it will put him in trouble. Our verse isn’t directed toward the angry person. It’s directed to the one who tries to help him. Maybe it’s a parent. Maybe it’s a wife. Maybe it’s a friend. They have seen these outbursts for years. They have tried and tried to help and all they do is rescue him and apologize for him. His angry way has embarrassed and shamed them. Instead of being sorry and penitent, he finds fault with others. His continual blowups at work eventually costs him a job. Neighbors fear him. Some how he finds his way into a church. He gets his way, much too often, because others feel his tongue lashing and bullying way.

Our country, especially the folks in the St. Louis area, are on edge because of anticipated outbursts of violence and anger concerning the grand jury verdict about a white police officer shooting an unarmed black teenager. There has been angry mobs roaming that area off and on for months. When the shooting first happened, protests turned to violence. It gave some an excuse to rob stores and roam streets shouting ugly threats. Anger. Many innocent people were hurt. This may likely happen again. It’s not a healthy situation. There is no dialogue, wise heads nor sound voices trying to calm people down. Angry. Money has been offered by groups if anyone will locate the police officer who shot the teenager. They want to kill the police officer.

Much of the movies today are angry. Much of the modern music today is angry. What is happening isn’t anything new. Back in the old west, mobs would pull a guy out of jail and string him up. They wouldn’t wait for a trial. They were the judge and jury. Even before this, it was an angry mob that rushed Stephen and drove him out of town and crushed him with rocks. Before that, it was an angry crowd that shouted, “Crucify Him, Crucify Him,” when Pilate asked what he should do with Jesus.

In anger we say things that shouldn’t be said. Our emotions take over, we get worked up and without thinking, words are said. Those words are remembered. They are remembered by the children who hear us saying those things. They are remembered by the innocent who were hurt by them. In describing the type of leaders for God’s kingdom, Paul told Titus that shepherds were not “quick tempered.” Timothy was told that these men were to be “temperate.” Temperate is where we get the word “temperature.” There are two temperatures that affect relationships. We see this in homes. We see this in congregations.

First, it can be too cold. We are not talking about the air temperature, but tension, problems, issues. When it is icy between people, it is felt. The words are not warm and welcome. What is said, is only enough to let the other person know that I am bothered by you. The cold shoulder, the silent treatment, the ignoring of one another is enough to tell that the temperature isn’t where it ought to be. It’s tough in a marriage. It’s tough in a church.

Second, it can be too warm between people. Now we are talking about anger. Sharp words. Cutting comments. Little digs that bury a relationship. Mean. The edges of our words are rough and they hurt. They are intended to hurt.

Too cold or too warm… Sounds like the story of the three bears. However, this isn’t a story. It’s reality for many people. They live in homes where things are not talked about. If they are, it’s not talking, it’s shouting that takes place. Too cold and too warm is not comfortable—whether you talk about air temperature or the temperature in relationships.

Our verse today doesn’t give much help. In fact, it’s directing the innocent to let the angry person suffer. Let him pay the penalty for the trouble he gets in. Helping him out doesn’t help him.

In the home, it is the role of the man, as husband and father, to control the thermostat of relationships. If it is too cold inside, he needs to take the lead and warm things up by reassuring people, expressing his appreciation of them and counting blessings. He needs to take the lead in apologizing and forgiving. The way he directs determines if it stays cool or warms up. On the other hand, if it is too hot in the home, he needs to take the lead and cool things down. Talking without shouting, finding what is the problem, taking the lead in fixing things—these are the things that come with being the head of the house. Head doesn’t mean you get the control of the remote nor you get to choose where we will eat. It means you lead. You lead the family to Heaven. One way this is done is by controlling the temperature in the house.

In the congregation, this falls to God’s shepherds. That’s their job. Watching the sheep, they must pick up on tension between the sheep. Ignoring those things leads to bigger problems. Some leave. Some rally others to leave with them. Threats are made. Fingers pointed. Awful things are said. Fellowship is broken, often for generations. Shepherds, just like dads, must control the temperature. They must warm things up when it’s too cool. They must cool things down when it’s too warm. Knowing this and how to do this is why they are shepherds. They are experienced. They have done this before in their homes. They have done this in their places of work. They are able to see what is right. They are able to see the big picture. Sometimes it’s some tenderness that needs to be displayed. Other times, it’s reminding some of who they are. And there are times when a kick in the pants works best. They know. They are good at what they do.

The right temperature. It’s important physically. It’s even more important in relationships. Don’t feed anger. Don’t ignore anger. Don’t think it will just get better on it’s own. Temperate people who understand how to change the thermostat in relationships will do well in life. Those who don’t get this will generally fumble most times.

You can change the temperature of a meeting, a home, or a congregation, by the words you use, the tone you reflect them in, your attitude and your love for Christ. Let’s work on these things.

Roger