Jump Start # 635

Ephesians 4:31 “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.”

Our verse for today lists six evil spirits or attitudes that should not dwell within a disciple of Jesus. The following verse identifies three godly characteristics that ought to replace these. Those are kindness, tenderness and forgiveness.

What is interesting about our list of wicked attitudes is to see how they are all connected to one another and progressive. One naturally leads to the next. Each one getting worse and feeding off the previous attitude. These are not stages where one starts with bitterness and then leaves that for anger. No, instead, anger grows out of bitterness. Instead of having one problem, the person now has two, until all six are manifest and the person is a real mess.

I want to give some thought to the start of all this—BITTERNESS. Bitterness is the state of being sour, extremely upset, agitated, bothered. Mostly, a person becomes bitter about the way they were treated. They were expecting something else. It didn’t happen. They became bitter. Have you ever known a bitter person? Their face rarely smiles and the color of life seems to fade to a shade of grey. They look like a mess on the outside because that is how they feel on the inside. A bitter person is not pleasant to be around. Their tone is sharp. Their words are mean. They talk only about themselves and how they were mistreated.

Some become bitter when a loved one dies. Bitter with the medical staff. Angry, mean words, and threats of lawsuits fill the air. Some become bitter towards a company because they were downsized. Some become bitter towards a congregation of God’s people because they won’t put up with wrong behavior. Some become bitter towards God.

Bitterness moves to anger very swiftly. It doesn’t take long. The more a person stews over their plight, the more rage builds within them. Wrath, clamor and slander are the choices of an angry, bitter person. Wrath is about fighting—either with words or with fists. Clamor is simply stirring things up. Making trouble. Slander is a form of revenge. It’s spreading false things about someone to hurt them. A bitter person doesn’t think straight. They don’t see the trouble they cause. Like a tornado, they spin faster and faster and many that are in the way get hurt. Their families suffer first. Then, those that happen to be in their path. Often, the bitter person makes things worse than what they are. The bitter person sees them self as a victim, as the knight on the white horse, fighting a battle against wrong. Their perception is distorted. Their view is blurred. The bitter person is the one who is in the wrong. The bitter person spews their anger upon any who will listen, trying to gather an army to support them on their campaign against all those who have hurt them.

You can see why the apostle begins with the word bitterness. He tells the disciples to get rid of all bitterness—not most of it, or just the big stuff, but all of it. It doesn’t take much bitterness to set a person off. Bitterness grows. If it is not all removed, it will take over a person.

Is it possible for a bitter person to be kind, tender and forgiving? Yes. The Bible says so. Bitterness is not a person’s lot in life. They can overcome it. They can be compassionate like Jesus. It’s not easy. Nor does it mean that fairness, rightness and justice has prevailed. No. You may have been wronged. Bitterness is a choice. You don’t have to go to the land of bitterness and dwell there the rest of your days. Some do. They die a bitter old person.

I’ve noticed that bitterness tends to age a person. Those that harbor those ill feelings look old, tired and wrinkled long before they should. Some have been bitter for so long that they don’t even recognize it any longer. It’s like walking with a limp. It’s tough at first. But do it long enough and a person hardly even notices. Bitterness is the same. So sad.

How does a person get rid of bitterness? Forgiveness. Jesus. Prayer. Choosing. Wanting to. It’s not easy, especially when a person constantly sees the things or people that makes them bitter. Bitterness is hard to get rid of in a marriage. It must be done if the marriage has any hope. It’s hard to worship at a congregation that a person is bitter with. Most don’t. Sooner or later they will leave. If they take the bitterness with them, they tend to tell others about how rotten the last place was. Their anger will affect their relationships in the next congregation.

Some preachers are bitter. They were poorly treated, or at least they think they were. Their sermons reflect anger as they preach. The bitterness will taint the good that they are trying to do. It will influence the congregation that they work with. Some churches are bitter. They hate everyone. So sad. It’s hard to present the good news when you are not in a good mood.

Have I spoken some things that you found to be true about yourself? Do you have some bitterness deep within you? It’s time to cut it out and replace it with what God wants. Bitterness is not ok. The apostle says to put away all bitterness. When we don’t, we are not following apostolic instructions—we are not following Christ.

Pray that God will help you rid the bitterness and anger from your heart. Replace the bitterness with kindness and forgiveness. This is God’s way. This is the best way. Borrowing an expression from the state of Maine, ‘this is the way life is meant to be.’

Roger