Jump Start # 559
Ephesians 5:23 “For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church. He Himself being the savior of the body.”
A friend of mine asked me to write a series of Jump Starts about male leadership. This is something that many see lacking in so many areas. In the home, men have resolved themselves to the image portrayed on the sitcoms, clueless, lifeless and only concerned about food and sports. In the church, men are not stepping up as leaders. In the community, where are the men who are role models and examples? These concerns are felt by many. It is having an impact. In many churches, the lack of male leadership is crippling growth and progress. Men aren’t stepping up spiritually and the church suffers.
There may be many reasons for all of this and I’m not sure one specific has a greater cause than the others. The rise of feminism plays a major role in all of this. The cry for equality has gone too far. It’s one thing to say, “give everyone the same opportunity” or “equal pay for the same job,” but it’s not the same to say, that men and women are the same, equal in all things and anything one can do, the other can. Men and women are not the same. Who ever says that must have slept during biology class. No only do we look different, but we are wired differently. Most get that. When you were a kid and something broke, most of us went to our dads so he would fix it. When we fell off our bike and skinned a knee, it was mom we ran to. Her tender ways helped make things better. Men and women are wired differently. Both are needed in the home. Aside from obvious disobedience of God’s law, homosexual couples, cannot offer a child the balance and mixture that a man and women can. Don’t argue with this, God knows. He’s the one that set the order and arrangement in the home.
Our passage today sets for a divine principle: Husband is the head of the wife. Don’t read more into that more than what was intended. Remember in 1 Cor 11, where it is stated again, it also teaches that God is the head of Christ. We know that Jesus was equal with the Father. He was not a “lesser” God or an inferior God—not in power, knowledge, love, or, will. Husband, being the head, is about order in the home. This does not mean that the husband is smarter than his wife, stronger than his wife, or better than his wife. This is not a competition about “who’s the best.” It’s about order. Jesus came and spoke the words of the Father. Jesus did the works of the Father. In the garden Jesus prayed, “let this cup pass from Me, not My will, but Thy will be done.” The will of the Father trumped Jesus’ will. Was Jesus less than the Father? No. It was about order. Jesus submitted His will to the will of the Father.
What has happened is that the order has gotten out of order. Some men have misunderstood this charge that they are the head and that has gone to their heads. They feel that principle gives them the right to bark orders and be coddled like a king on the throne. Others, have abdicated their role and the home is either “headless,” or mom becomes the head, or the kids are in charge. This is not the arrangement that God wants.
Our passage tells us that husbands are the head of the wife, AS Christ is the head of the church. That’s conditional. Husbands are not at liberty to do as they please. They are a head as Christ is a head. To grasp this concept, a person must look and study Christ. How is Christ the head of the church. Husbands are the head AS…That little word, “as” changes everything. The chapter before, Paul told these same people that they were to forgive one another “even as Christ” has forgiven them.
Men are to lead like Christ. In Matthew 11, Jesus called for the weary and heavy laden to come to Him for He was gentle in heart and He would give them rest. In John 10, Jesus is defined as the good shepherd, who goes before the sheep, knows the sheep and will lay down His life for the sheep. In John 13, Jesus washed the disciples feet. He told them that the servant isn’t above the master and if He washed their feet, they ought to do the same. Not wash feet, but SERVE. Jesus forgave the woman caught in adultery. Jesus spoke to the Samaritan woman at the well. Jesus invited Himself to the home of Zaccheus, the tax collector.
What image do you see developing here from Jesus? Bossy? Demanding? Out of touch? Too busy to care about others? Not willing to get His hands messy? Too good for some? None of those. You see a caring Savior. You see one who served. If this is how Christ is the head, this is the pattern that men must walk in the home to please God.
A phrase that we hear often is to “Man up.” In Texas, they say, “Cowboy up.” It means to step up to your responsibilities and get about doing what you are supposed to do. Man up. Quit being a baby. Quit giving up because it’s hard or you don’t feel like it. Man up. Lead that family. Husbands are the head…in flying, he’s the pilot…in sailing, he’s the captain of the ship…in sports, he’s the coach. He doesn’t do it all, nor can he do it all, but he leads. He makes decisions that will affect everyone in that home.
First and foremost, he is to lead that family to Heaven. That is the ultimate role of the head. It may mean being the tough guy, and saying “No,” to certain TV shows. It may mean blowing the trumpet on Sunday morning and getting everyone up and going to church services. It may be seeing that everyone is connecting with each other and God. Headship or leadership, as Christ did—those are the thoughts that husbands must focus upon. It’s not about getting your way, or being in charge, as it is following the example of Jesus. Love, care, and direction—it came from Christ, it comes from husbands. That means, the husband has to know where he is going. That means, his focus and attention is upon the wellbeing of the family, especially the spiritual health of the family.
If a cruise ship sinks, as it did recently in the news, who do the fingers point to? Not the guy who makes the salad or the guy who takes pictures, rather, it’s the captain. He’s in charge. If the plane goes down, they look to the pilot. If the country goes sour, they look to the president. If the home falls apart, God looks to the head, the husband. He’s at the helm. He’s leading the home. Headship includes making decisions, decisions that are best for the family. Decisions that are best for the spiritual health of the family. The decisions may not be what dad would choose, if he was by himself, but he’s not by himself. He’s leading his family. He’s the head. So, he will make wise and godly choices that will help the family.
Are you sensing the importance of the husband being a spiritual giant in the family? Do you see that God is counting on you to get the family to Heaven?
For our readers who are single and dating. Give this some thought. Is the person you are dating of spiritual fiber to help you get to Heaven. Is he a leader?
We will continue these thoughts this week. It’s time for men to wake up. Too many are asleep at the helm and are unaware that the family is adrift and no one is doing anything about it. Wake up men! Take hold of the wheel. It’s time to lead that family in the course that God has plotted long ago.
Roger