Jump Start # 230

Proverbs 11:13 “He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy conceals a matter.”

  We return to Proverbs for our passage today. Proverbs are truisms—not absolutes. We find Proverbs to be practical, plain and easy to understand. A Proverb a day is just good medicine!

  This passage, as many in Proverbs, is a contrast. Right and wrong are laid beside each other.  Here we find two different people: one, a talebearer; the other, trustworthy. The talebearer can’t keep a secret. He’s been told to, but the news is too great for him. He’s about to bust, he has to tell someone. Often, he puts conditions on the next person that he doesn’t keep himself. He’ll say, “No, don’t tell anyone this…” Yet he has. The talebearer is not the same as a gossip. The impression from the passage is that someone has trusted the talebearer and revealed their soul to him. These are not things that everyone needs to know. Confidence is the bond here. But the talebearer is not trustworthy. He broke confidence. He told others. Who knows if they will tell still others. Word is out. Many know the secret. Someone usually gets hurt. It’s hard to recover from this. Saying your sorry doesn’t stop the spread of the secret.

  Companies face this problem. Secrets that made a product successful are stolen and sold to a rival company. Who did that? An employee that was thought to be trustworthy. The government deals with this as well. Military secrets are sold to our enemies. These things make for exciting movies. Spies and espionage and undercover agents and double agents are the things found in a James Bond movie. The writer of Proverbs is talking about life, not movies.

  At stake here is trust, honor, and a pledge that you promise not to tell what you’ve been told. The trustworthy person can be counted upon. The talebearer is trouble waiting to happen. The talebearer drives wedges within the family. The talebearer hurts the church.

  James tells us to confess our faults to one another. Having a dear friend to confide in and seek advice is such a blessing. Many fear doing this because they fear the talebearer. Some have been hurt in the past and they refuse to open the door to their soul again. So they struggle along bearing all their pain themselves, keeping others at a distance because they dread the talebearer.

  Some of us have problem distinguishing the trustworthy and the talebearer apart. Still worse, some bare their soul to everyone and anyone and then they don’t understand why everyone talks about them. The solution is simple. Don’t trust the talebearer with secrets. They can’t handle it and they will hurt you, even though they don’t mean to.

  The other lesson here is for each of us to be trustworthy. If someone is about to tell you something, and they begin the conversation with, “Please, don’t tell anyone else…” but you’re not sure you can handle holding that information in, be honest. It’s better to say, “I’d rather you not tell me…” than, for you to promise to keep a secret and then tell someone else. Here is something else I’ve learned about the talebearer, they get very upset when someone else has repeated what they were not supposed to repeat.

  There is one more thought we must add here. There is one who we know is trustworthy, and that is God. There are no secrets with God. He already knows. You are not going to tell Him something and shock Him. He knows. He cares. He still loves you and wants you to walk with Him in righteousness. God is the one, in prayer, that we need to tell all to.

  Talebearer and trustworthy…which are you? Which do you want to be? Be the friend, that is a real friend. Be the friend that is trustworthy and helpful. Be the friend that supports, corrects and loves. Be trustworthy!

  Roger